If I said all that I want to
If I said all that I’d dare
I’m afraid that you would run from me
And the feelings I’d declare
I’ve come to care so for you
That sometimes, it brings despair
Oh, the things I long to share with you
If you, as well, would dare

Broken is the notion that the one we love will feel the same
For some things, despite want and wait, are just not meant to be
Although our hope and effort may feel wasted, this is not the case
For it shows how boldly we will fight for true love still unseen
And even though sometimes it feels like we've become too broken
For anyone to love us even though our love is true
One day, someone will come along, whose heart will sing so for us
That the love we find when hearts entwine will pale all we ever knew

Gazing into ever after, I see naught, but for disaster
Somehow, being happy only leads to my demise
Trying to heal, I break what’s broken
Fighting not to let the ghosts in
Choking on the words my bleeding heart so ill-advise

My losses and my failures always seem to plague my mind
But I’m trying to hold on for better days
Smiles and laughter
Then disaster, always close behind
Too often I un-sleep the night away

Too many seconds in a day when time stands still
I’ve had my fill
But to un-break my will is something that may never come to be
I’ve fought myself for far too long
I’m losing strength to carry on
Just how long until there’s nothing left of me?

Too many words so sweetly spoken
Hope the smoke I slowly choke on
Even so, not wishing to take back a word of what I’ve bled
Just how do I defend against a night that never ends?
My every fear insisting to be fed

Gazing into ever after, I see naught, but for disaster
Somehow, being happy only leads to my demise
Trying to heal, I break what’s broken
Fighting not to let the ghosts in
Choking on the words my bleeding heart so ill-advise

Some may think it’s not that bad
But too long, it’s been my hell
Where everything I set my heart to fades away
Becoming scarred with my chagrin as sorrow tangles deep within
Each smile I find is never long to stay

In my heart and in my mind there seems no peace that I can find
When every dream that seems come true
Comes crashing through all efforts made
‘Til even beauty can’t console a weary heart that’s never whole
Just a broken-hearted fool out on display

When comes the day when I can say
It’s worth the price my heart has paid?
Has every war I’ve waged against myself been fought in vain?
If happiness will come, I beg it soon
Lest I succumb to the darkness where no trace of me remains

Gazing into ever after, I see naught, but for disaster
Somehow, being happy only leads to my demise
Trying to heal, I break what’s broken
Fighting not to let the ghosts in
Choking on the words my bleeding heart so ill-advise

Am I doomed forever after?
Is there naught but for disaster?
I want so much more from life than merely to survive
Tired of always being torn open
Never whole, but wholly broken
When will come the day my bleeding heart can finally thrive?

On the passenger side, I sat
Carrying my frustrations,
heartaches, and vulnerability.
Looking straight at the road,
Lost in my wilderness,
Trying to ponder,
"What is happening?"

I looked to my left, then
There was you, Theo.
On the driver seat,
spinning the car wheel,
leading the driveway, and
Maneuvering the destination.
Without knowing,
"where the real destination is?"

You looked to your right,
Our eyes have met, finally.
Bespoke to one another,
How each of our hearts broke,
Our longing, and anticipation
Of the next that is yet to come.

Day after day, night after night
Our communication hasn't stopped.
As if sleep, was our only enemy.
For every chance, every day,
on the same vehicle,
in which we met,
there was only bliss and hope.

Not until one Monday afternoon,
On a sudden depth,
every bliss and every hope vanished.
"What happened?" I pondered,
this time.
The answer, I tried to seek.
Your presence, I sought for.
I had nothing, nothing
but faded memories, and
Blurred dreams for the two of us.

On the passenger side, now I can't sit.
Frustrated, heartbroken, and vulnerable, once again, I am.
I looked to my left, now you're gone. You looked to your right,
someone else's eyes you've met.
But no, this can't be..

Theo, my love.
Oh how you changed my life,
You have no idea, I'm sure.
You are the sun that shines bright throughout my day,
You are the gravity that holds me down in every way.
You are the moon that shimmers throughout my night,
You are stars that glimmer oh so bright.

You are the oxygen that keeps me alive,
You are my heart that beats inside.
You are the blood that flows through me,
You are every color, and every love song, there is.
You are both my answered and unanswered prayer.
You are the one more chance,
I never thought I'd find.
You are the only guy I can see now.
As if you are my everything now.

I never want to lose you.
I want to be with you for every day and every moment, there will be.
Oh my Theo, why do I fear?
Why am I so jealous?
But hopeful, I must be.
To stay in love with you,
Still I want to be.

Over a period of time
I got to know the real you. 
My Theo, so caring and gentle 
with a genuine heart so true. 
I told you I'd never leave 
because of the feelings I have inside.
Of the destination, we are to go to, 
Maybe I'll just let you, and time
befriend each other.
If it is meant to be,
time will remove the wall.
My love shall open your heart.

I love the way we are together.
You can always make me smile. 
Will our love can ever really be true? 
I guess I will have to wait awhile. 
And see what lies ahead, 
but always remember 
what I have said. 
Meeting you has changed my life, 
and I really love you so, Theo.

Oh my Theo,
such a blessing you are to me.
Open your heart for me, my love.
Seize every love I have for you,
Let go of the rest, and Carpe Diem.
The feelings I feel for you 
I am never letting go. 
Remember me always,
Theo, my love.
I hope and pray that one day,
finally you will, too.