I came across a piece of paper from 2013, when Charlotte was five. I had jotted this down:

"New word Charlotte made up:
Orsificant (adj.) Both smart AND wise"

I still like the sound of that word.

And God, how I wish I were orsificant.

“I am not going to be the person
I am expected to be anymore”

I heard this thought and was
Kind of blown away
Making me question
All sorts of things
Like…

Who do I expect me to be?
Who do others expect me to be?
Am I
Daughter
Wife
Lover
Do I even care?
What do these labels even mean?
Why can’t I label me Friend?
Is there anything expected of
An acquaintance?
I am trying on new labels

Poet
Writer

Whatever the label
Poet, daughter, wife, maybe even friend
These masks sit a little uncomfortably upon me
And…

What of the unspoken and often unseen labels

Broken
Weird
Crazy

Do these fit me any better?

I don’t think I have ever been
The person others expected

Certainly not myself!

How extraordinary!
“I’m not going to be the person
I am expected to be anymore”

Kelly Rose
9/19/2014

Heard this in a commercial and it hit a nerve  

Verse
Why are you fighting every day?
Why are storming everywhere?
Why are we finding faults in each other?
Why am I blaming you blaming me ?

Chorus
Holding hands
As we find
Love for one another
Passing time
As we find space for each other

Verse
It’s true we faint everyday
It’s real that we get up again
It’s magical this life that we hold
As all the past passes us by

Bridge**
Let’s hold hands
And stop fighting
Let’s hold hands
And stop stomping
Hearsay is hearsay
Here my pen, here is my pen
Lets write a new page

I'll find space for you
You find space for me
We find space for one another

i am finding my life
in small stitches
lately

mending the hem
on a pillowcase

darning the hole
in a sock

patching a hole
in well-worn sheets

i am finding my life
in small stitches
lately

until i have the energy
to make larger seams

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Dorothy's Kansas never looked so comforting, her black and white world never so safe--never so flat, so barren.

Didn't she learn her lessons? She caused such trouble! She gave Auntie Emm such a fright! That bump on the head must have caused her brain damage. After the "big storm" was only a memory, and the terrible twister only a town tale, Dorothy did it again.

She ventured out on her own.

Yet Mrs. Gulch was still a witch. And Dorothy's "nasty, little dog" still got into the garden. The sheriff was ready to track her down and clamp down on her for good! Running home frantically for help, Dorothy realized that Auntie Emm was still too busy ******* at her shiftless farmhands, henpecking tired, old Uncle Henry,
and he was just too cranky to care. The farmhands were supposed to be her friends, but they just started crabbing at her again.

They soon gave her what for. "Dot, didn't you learn a thing in life?" "Didn't we rescue you once from a pigpen?" "That heart of yours leads you in the wrong direction! " "Where are your brains, anyway?"

Heartbroken, naive Dorothy realized something that was quite profound. Her heart was always in the right place--she just needed the courage, the courage to know she was smart enough to make it on her own. So Dorothy packed her bags, especially remembering her red ruby slippers. She would never forget her loyal friend and sidekick, her beloved pooch, Toto. If she was going, he was going with her.

So there she stood, suitcases in hand, in her bleak, little, colorless world. Terrified, she stood upon the precipice. Fear or faith? And all of a sudden she was noticed again! Just what was she doing? Who did she think she was fooling? Was she crazy!?

"You'll never make it!", they all warned. "You don't know the first thing about how to live in a Technicolor world!"

"Sorry, I do love you", Dorothy answered back. "But I disagree and I will forward you my new address". So off she went finding the path down the yellow brick road.

Commit to an action, answer what passion excites you. Offer your help in any way you can! To feed a homeless person and help them recover from their plight, to save one of Gods creatures if you feel that is just and right. Let no one stand before you and tell you that you cannot achieve. In the smallest measure, the simplest kindness can become a great and powerful deed. So what ever is your interest, move forward where you see a need. For each mighty forest must begin with just a few seeds.

(gnarly guitar riff)

Here I am again, Jesus freakin'
Are you ready, or still seekin'
Can I talk? Call your bluff?
Do you love the world?
Had enough?

I saw a man on the corner of the street
With a sandwich board
from his head to his feet
REPENT! it said, as he did bray
His face was lined, his hair was grey
People threw eggs into the fray
He continued his say
He began to PRAY

Lord, please forgive them
for what they do...
They don't know Christ
They don't know You
They are blindly going through
They think they're right
but it's not TRUE

I was there waitin' for the bus
There wasn't much for us to discuss
I said that I would pray as well
He'd inspired me to speak my tell
My testimony of Jesus Christ
How He literally saved my life...

So I started Jesus freakin'
As I got on the bus I was speakin'
I went to people who would listen
The people who wouldn't were just missin'
I told of mercy, I told of grace
I guess people saw by the light in my face
I said that what I told was true
As I got off the bus I said,

JESUS LOVES YOU!!!

(gnarly guitar riff)*


SoulSurvivor
(C) 1/15/2016