My mind is in anguish
as I process my past

They carved scars into my skin
With their sharpened knives

Then gave me claws that I couldn’t seem to trim

First I hurt myself
Scratching my skin until it was raw

Salty tears didn’t heal my wounds

Now I’ve scarred your flesh
Because I didn’t file my nails

It bleeds as I stare in horror

I never thought I’d recreate the pain
That I had felt so deeply before


Although I now carefully remove each talon
Inspecting their purpose

Your scars will remain, just as mine

I wish I was never given those weapons
That I didn’t want

I wish hadn’t used them

Forever now I live in reflection
As I wonder if your cuts will heal

As I wonder if we can move forward

My wounds revealed

You are hidden in moments everywhere

There’s a beauty hidden in normal days

Getting ready in the morning


Going to work, going to class


Coming home to cat meows and a soft bed

Sometimes I hate the repetitiveness, the normalcy of it all

But I love the habits I’ve made taking care of myself

I love staring into my eyes in the mirror when I’m still sleepy

I love petting my cats when they’re excited to see me

I love going to class when it feels like fall



Mostly I think I just miss your part in my routine

Your comforting presence in my bed holding me before I get up

Your whispers of sweet nothings as I brush my teeth

Your smile when you see me come back after a long day

I guess I don’t mind so many normal days

I just hope you can start living them with me
I hope you can stay.

With your hand in mine
I no longer fear the fall

I embrace the climb.

Every-time you test my trust

My heart breaks a little more

You wonder if you’ve lost me

I’m not sure

I’m still here

But I need all of you

No second thoughts

No doubts

Just your whole self in mine