If I had an autopsy,
I fear that my heart
would be too heavy
to hold.
For it is filled
with raw emotions
and it weighs my chest down
with every last breath.

I now realize I'd forgotten how to be sad
But is it something for which to be glad?
When I feel shattered and all my emotions are displaced
Don't know how to show it, I'm trying to do
my best
My tears are escaping yet big boys don't cry
We didn't do our best that I can't deny
But my heart still refuses, It's totally blue
How broken I feel none has got a clue
Every game you go in for is a possible loss
Just accustomed to wins, not being knocked out by draws
An Island, can't find a single shoulder to cry
on
I dread David Luiz but I appreciste he's a daring lion
I have love, I have a place in my broken heart
I have love for my team, the reason behind
my hurt
I know we didn't do enough from the start
How do I tell that to my stubborn blue Heart
I dawned on my Fabregas shirt, I was smart
The end did nothing but break me apart
I guess that is love, in even soccer
Love is like playing dice or poker
No matter how heartless you try to be
It will still ultimately sting bad like a bee
Hate being the one whose journey has ended
If I could, would have just after all pretended
I'm drowning deep in my emotical sea
But win, draw or loss, I love my club, I love
Chelsea
Because I know much as I feel so alone
We're a big blue family and together we
mourn

I love.
I weep.
I stumble and fall.
and I rise up;
and experience it all again.

I was addicted to his smell,
but I couldn't help it, he was intoxicating;

His words got me drowning,
not only in thoughts but also in feelings;

He was like a drug.
and I could stop.
I couldn't stop

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

it was like a feeling of adrenaline;

they keep telling me to stop.
that I should leave him be.

and I should've listened, i should have.
because like all other drugs, he was dangerous and wicked.

and he turned out to be toxic for me.

somewhere behind that never ending darkness,
is someone who wants to be loved
and treasured;

someone whose waiting and waiting,
despite of the fact that it's slowly
losing it's last ember;

you can't see it because it's always behind
the shadows,

waiting for the time that you'll gradually
discover its

w o r t h

but can't you see?
that someone is

y
o
u

your heart has been waiting for far too long
to love yourself for once that
it's slowly covered in bruises and scars;

far too long that it's almost covered itself in
a labyrinth of pain with the hopes of
what could've been and
what could never been;

and maybe,
it's finally time to give yourself a
little rest.

i missed the times where we used to
just watch scary movies and laugh through out it all
instead of being scared;

where we spent late nights on phone calls
and text messages where we
talk about everything and nothing;

where we even notice the small things,
where I paint our moments with a pen and a paper
and you capture it with your camera;

where we can just be happy by doing nothing as long as
we were together;

but we get caught up in the moment of our fights
and misunderstandings;

we started to focus on our differences and
mistaken beginnings;

then just like that our fantasy

c  o  l  l  a  p  s  e  d

with you walking away,
leaving me behind with nothing;

while you walked away with everything.