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 Feb 2015
Andie May ostrander
With broken wings
still i sing
i am far from death
and with this dream i will burn
**all the world has left
 Feb 2015
Andie May ostrander
I stand but, I am fallen
Broken I mean nothing
Should I listen to these words
or should I stand up stronger

Hate Is all around me
Broken I am falling
Nobody can see how bad words hurt me.
But I will stand when they call me nothing.
I stand but I am falling

We are the fallen broken we are forsaken
I know you hear the same words
That tack away your worth.
But with these broken wings we will stand don't give in to the dream land it will be ok someday
Don't hang your head broken little angel sadden  by the world
their words wont take away your worth
1.)    I don’t want you to think I’m crazy

2.)    People see your pain and they see an opportunity to play the good guy. The hero in your twisted little fairytale. The public finds out you’re chemically imbalanced and the magic spell is cast! Like Cinderella’s dress, their contempt for you transforms into love and admiration. They now feel the need to let you know they are there, they care, they pray for you. When they can’t even remember your name.

3.)    Expression of my depression is not a cry for attention. You asked me how I was and I’m really tired of using the word “fine”.

4.)     “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” **** THAT and all the same psychobabble ******* that’s recycled over and over again. If you want to help me tell me what you think. Tell me how you feel. Don’t google mental illness and memorize the wiki page I already did.

5.)    Self-harm gets enough publicity already. If you want this trend to go away stop drawing hearts on your wrists, wearing orange ribbons on your chest, and telling people you love them but only if they hate themselves first.

6.)    And while we’re on the subject what’s this obsession with kissing scars? You're not the lead singer of some punk band you’re my boyfriend. Kiss my lips or kiss my ***

7.)    If I wanted another therapist I’d buy one

8.)    What if you think I’m weak 8) What if I am weak 8) You’ll know I’m weak

9.)    How am I to explain to you what’s wrong with me when I can barely admit it I have a problem in the first place.

10.)  I want you to know my favorite songs, Why I hate my name or how I once ate 50 starbursts in one sitting. I want you to know the good things. I want you to know me. I don’t want you to think I’m crazy.
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
I would give anything to tell you
To explain
You just don't understand
You say you're not over her
How she hurt you
WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?
So what if I like you
It's not like that
I love you
I want to help
But you ignore me
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL FEELS LIKE
Because I DON'T THINK YOU DO
Remember how I asked you to sit with me?
You sat with them
Even after you said they aren't your friends
I SAT ALONE
I cried.
In public.
This is rock bottom for me
How badly do you want me dead?
Just keep spilling the tears onto my keyboard,
Let's see how long it takes
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
Invisible wall
                 That separates me from you
                                                            **And everyone else
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
Seething, seething underneath
Makes it feel so hard to breathe
My eyes are hollow
Cheeks are wet
With memories of my regret
Internal storm
Rain outside
Pummeling my strung out mind
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
Dread is like a worm
Eating you inside
Rages like a fighting storm
There's nowhere left to hide.*

Dread is like a poison
Running through your veins
Always inescapable
It slips inside your brain*

YOU NEVER SEE IT COMING
IT'S ALWAYS AT YOUR SIDE
WAITING FOR THE DARK TO COME
TO TEAR UP YOUR INSIDES
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
My heart is full of cyanide
My soul is made to run and hide

                                                           My soul is made of arsenic
                                                          
                                                           His presence really makes me sick
My body takes him like it takes crack
I'm done with him and that's the fact
                                                                                   You say I'm like your     Anti-freeze
But so much of you, and I can't breathe.
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
I grow inside you
Love the dark
My teeth are sharper
than a shark's.

I'm cold as death
I make you run
(For me that's fun)


You're waiting for me
All the time
I'm hidden in your
children's rhymes.


Ashes ashes you have the plague
Humpty dumpty Rome starts to fade

I'm always here
I'm always near


**So try as you may
To keep me at bay
But I'm here to stay
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
That awful moment
When you see
The one you love
Or find his picture
And you Remember
How you gave him up
And how you never wanted to
And how he's really gone this time
But worst of all
You remember how
You broke his heart
Every day
And now you too
Are broken.
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
It's been so long
Since I've seen you
I've started feeling
Rather blue
But I saw you
Walking by
And my heart began
To race and fly
This is fear!
I thought inside
How queer for me to be afraid
To speak up after all these days
Of memories that start to fade
I wonder if you feel the same,
I guess we're going to share the pain.
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
As I cry these mental tears
I realize
what I miss the most
Is the warmth
And your eyes
Those beautiful eyes                                                                
And most of all
The way
I  could feel your heart
                                              your precious life so close to mine                  
I was so touched
That you would open up
And let me in
And I feel so bad
That I tore your heart up
Instead of protecting it

And  now the tears come
In my head
 Jan 2015
Sydney Ann
I can live inside your eyes
If you'd catch me I could fly

I can breathe when you touch me
We'd be lovers... if you'd let me
I can hear when you whisper
And your words make my heart stir
All I taste is your kiss
(The definition of bliss)

**So now that you've left me
I'm dead inside
I'll never survive
So pull down the blinds
Lock up your doors
I'll probably come find you and devour your soul
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