It’s no secret, my want
for someone to take care of me
without their back to the wall
of a sunk cost fallacy
Don’t let me be a burden -
if you don’t want to, then quit
I miss the way you loved me
when you were mostly lying

Be alone with me again,
like when we were friends
and the benefits were worth it -
naked but not always *******
You’re never a burden
My identity is erased
It’s hard to love you or anyone
when I have nothing for myself

Feels like I’m split in half
Don’t have the energy
Made the wrong decisions
for all the right reasons
I can’t be loved
because of where I ended up

Never been great at free will
Only ever exercise it for a thrill
When it comes to hard decisions,
I’ll make them
The easy ones are always
easier said than done

Feels like I’m made of glass
Don’t know what to eat
but I know I need to
They say if you don’t feed ‘em
they won’t keep coming back
I’m not an animal, I have feelings

Never needed you,
I just want you
Only ever tried
once I’d given up
Now it’s all my fault,
all your responsibility
You’ve run me out of love

When did it all get turned upside down?
I really shouldn't be here
Will I ever live this down?
Couldn't you’ve just imagined me here?

It was years ago
and I should have known
I remember you
I was sixteen years old... however many years ago
I think I should remember, too

You're on the back of my mind,
and then you're on my neck
Is all we lost
truly behind us?

It was years ago,
you left me in the cold,
but I remember you
I was sixteen years old,
and yet I should have known
Will I ever remember, too?

If you're my hero
why did you let me down?
You really shouldn't be here
If you're my hero
why was I on the ground?
You got what you wanted

You’re on the back of my mind
when they’re on my neck
All of this because
of a broken, silent promise

It’s the way he woke up laughing
and she woke up looking for me
And how, because I was there,
no one was afraid

I got out wishing I had died
Like after a car crash
when they make you sleep
to manage the pain

I hear my reasons
right outside the door
I try to feel joy
and it’s there, but in silence

And everything starts to lose meaning
I know I need to be here
I know it doesn’t really matter
An existential threat

I cannot believe it
Do you not think of me all the time?
I have so much love to give
Always so much on my mind

I wish I believed you
I wish you were right
I don’t know how I got here
It feels like I’ve just woken up

I fall asleep laughing
and wake up half asleep
I wake up
I wake up

I used to write songs to god
back when I did not know a lot
or think much about what I want
It was all a lie I told myself
to believe

The amazing grace
missed it’s mark
No one saved my soul,
often gone
It was all a lie
that everyone seemed to believe

I think it requires a type of hope
and an overwhelming need to cope,
which I never could
I believe in ghosts
and electricity;
unwinding and rewiring
Nothing good ever came from the shock

I used to pray for everyone -
anxiously and, often, overdone
The weight never softened,  
always buckling under the worry
Some never need to learn,
they just know its true