I'm fixated with you

But you're  leaving me just when I thought you were mine

full of nothing
and full of colours
are those balloons
ignorant they jump around
not knowing where to go next
waiting to be bursted

full of independence
and full of lives
are those cats
ignorant they jump around
with their '*******' attitude
waiting to die

full of joy
and full of ideas
are those kids
ignorant they jump around
discovering the world
waiting to grow


bursting, dying, growing
those are the blessed ones
living for the instant
the waiting ignorants

I’m slipping, sliding,
right into the dark.
I’m twisting, turning,
falling apart.

I’m flying, soaring,
up in the clouds.
I’m running, sprinting
across the grounds.

I’m hiding, shrinking,
under the stairs.
I’m searching, seeking,
looking nowhere.

I’m laughing, joking,
having some fun.
I’m talking, shouting,
telling no one.

I’m crying, sobbing,
drying my tears.
I’m leaping, jumping,
crashing down here.

I’m dying, living,
both at once.
I’m thinking, learning,
what the world wants.

I’m sleeping, dreaming,
all in my head.
I’m waking, blinking
here in my bed.

You see
A person only truly falls in love
Once in their life time
And once that time is used up
There is no more.
You can lie to yourself
And to others
But if you were truly in love with them
That love cannot be undone.
I am in love.
A love that won't go away
With my best friend.
I fell off
The bridge of love
And into the waters
Where he followed
But his love came with strings attached
A bungee
And he jumped back up
And left me sitting there in the waters
While he's up on the bridge
Calling me up there
While I'm wishing him down here
And I have no bungee.

Send a postcard,
Don't forget where we left off
The nights under the pier,
Tides that crept up our ankles,
kissed the sand we loved so dearly,
I wish you were here,
The sun doesn't set the same

waiting, waiting, waiting
and waiting
for a sign
that'll keep me alive
while the blade dives
and the blood shines
down my wrist
and my fist
pounds against the wall
and that one call
still keeps me
waiting

- j.m