I became the sea Just so you'd come see me Just to listen to you breath It must be possible to live In this place between Lonliness and joy Visible and transparent What can I do with These waves, tsunamis Hurricanes on skin Of bones.
It must be possible For you to swim with me Without drowning
"i can't box you"* he says to me narrowing his firewood eyes the silver air breathing spring i get closer to the warmth of his body and smile-
because i can box myself so ******* perfectly it's the thing i hate the most i'm your typical straight A anghsty teenager who never called herself a poet but spends her days writing to boys who never loved her and a dad who was never there i had a photography phase- which girl hasn't? took pictures of people when they weren't looking finding beauty in others when what i needed most was to find beauty in myself went through an anorexic phase i'm better now- skinnier than before, but, i eat a single 1200 calorie meal but take my coffee without sugar (saving the dime and spending the dollar) tried finding myself by hurting myself and even though the blades disappeared after a while the pain kinda lasted but you know, it's not all that bad i mean, i eat, i sleep, i jog, i read i sing in the shower i live in a house with a mom who loves me a sister who loves me so much that she hates me i'm your typical kid stuck between self-worship and self-loathing loved taylor swift, loved fallout boy get the picture now? thought that rebelling would give me fulfillment cut my hair and dyed it orange ran away to my best friend's house watched her have *** with boys twice her age sat alone in a corner away from their embraces because the black eyeliner and leather jacket still hadn't seeped their way into my heart (don't touch me i'm afraid) i had my first kiss at 16 i had *** at 17 i had my first pregnancy scare at 18 (don't worry we used protection) i promised to marry him but kept him a secret because my parents wouldn't approve come on- does it get more 'boxable' than that?
'you're so different.' he mumbles between breaths tainted with the taste of my skin i play with his fingers (i think i'm in love with the birthmark on his knuckles) he takes my silence for agreement and i kiss him goodnight driving back to my white-picket fence house taking off my shoes before entering my mom doesn't like ***** shoes on the carpet.
In the weirdness of things I burn-out my own will Begun to suffocate the breathless breathing. Slowly I’m becoming dead, the strength I held is not my own. I still go on, like everything didn’t seems to matter anymore.
In the commotion of emotions, Fear is like fuel to my fire – A spark that kept me block. Lock on my own isolation, prisoner of my own dominion.
I wish for the star to shine, Yet it won’t glow for me, Unlucky.
this was the complete poem of this little piece: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/959592/a-star-wont-glow/ 2014 - old work of mine. But there was a commotion of emotions this week, I was sick with Typhoid Fever, I've eating something cheap and gotten me sick. It was frustrating, so alone for two days, its hard even to eat something. when you're in abroad, living alone, its hard to get sick.. even with a roommate, they would not care for you unless your dying. SO i just slept it all up, still in the end you get up and fend for yourself, pick up your pieces even your body is at the weak state. I guess this is adult life with no one to lean on to. sigh.. Now I'm a little better.
The night the moon that woman in tight jeans the brave and the lonely drifters we all drink from the same pool so when we meet let's go down together sane, ******, drunk whatever like those indigo dragonflies of spring who will be here right soon,
I'm always ******* Always overwhelmed I wish upon stars From way down in **** All the dreams I once had Were lost along the way I can't remember and for that I'm glad It's all worthless anyway There's so much **** I have to do But I'd rather lay around, getting high with you You're no good, a lazy fool But I'm worse and that's the truth The love from our parents that we once knew We find in strangers and dark blue My love is an ocean and you're a cruise A grandiose boat, just for two