lay my back
on my bed
and whisper

"it's okay,
it's over."

i miss seeing him every saturday on 5 pm,
i miss driving around the city with him,
i miss listening to a playlist that he made for me,
i miss watching the sunset with him,
i miss going out to this particular restaurant near the street with him,
i miss leaning my head on his shoulder,
i miss holding his hand,
i miss calling him every night until almost 12 am,
i miss everything,

i miss him.

you left me
but not really
cause I'm holding on to the memory
so that means you're still here with me
right?

He packed up his clothes into his bag, she came in their room and she was confused, "Where are you going?"
He looked down, "Somewhere else,"
She cried, "But why? Why did you leave?"
He grabbed her by the cheeks, wiped her tears and said, "I think I just can't do this anymore, I can't stay no more, I can't have a deal with you,"
"Deal with me?"
He exhaled slowly, "You know what?"

"You can't just tell people to go away and then ask them to get back,
You can't just throw away the love that people gave to you and ask for another one,
You can't just speak 'I don't wanna lose you' and then you treat me like an option,
You can't just say 'I love you' to me and the next second you ignored me like I was nothing to you,"

"But-"

He shaked his head, "But what? You wanna say 'I love you' and make me feel guilty? You wanna say 'I'm sorry' like it will change everything? I can't do this anymore. I don't wanna see you suffer, but you made me suffer. I'm done with this, I'm sorry."

And after that, he brought his bag and left her crying in the corner of their--her room.

"Who am I looking at now?" He asked.
The girl laughed, "It's me, what do you mean?"
He looked at her face and said, "You're not you anymore,"
She was confused, "I am me,"
He laughed with sarcasm, "Are you?"

"Lately, you looked at me without those glares in your eyes,
You kissed me without those fast heartbeat in your chest,
You hugged my body but I can't feel you're here,
You said you love me but I can't hear your sincere."

I'm healing,
but I don't want to see your face yet.

I'm healing,
but I'm still afraid of your voice.

I'm healing,
but while I'm healing,
you break me down with your words.

I'm healing,
but I'm trembling,
now I'm slowly dying,
while you stare at me and feel nothing.

His eyes glared with my reflection,
His eyes are deeper than the ocean,
His eyes are darker than the night,
His eyes are sharper than the knife.

His hands were moving, approaching my body,
His vanilla perfume linger around me,
He whispered, "It ain't my fault, right?"
He smiled, his smile got my tongue tied.

"What do you mean?" I asked,
He answered, "I don't love you anymore,"
As he said that, he pulled out a gun from my pocket,
He pulled the trigger and a bullet cut through my heart,

He is right,
He is innocent,
It's my fault,
I let him got too close to me,
I let him broke down my wall,
I let him came to my life,
I let myself fall for him while he's falling for somebody new.

"Back off, leave me alone,"

"I won't leave,"

"I swear to god, just leave now,"

"I won't leave,"

"GET OUT, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"I WON'T LEAVE!"

"WHY?! WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

"Cause I know how it feels like, I know how that feels. That moment when you told people to get out, to leave, while deep inside you don't want them to. That moment when you said you want to be alone, while the truth you want someone to realize that you need a hug and a shoulder to lean on.

That moment when you said you're fine, while you're dying inside. That moment when you closed your eyes and hope everything's gonna be fine, but you have a war between your heart and brain. That moment when you act like you're brave, but you felt so scared and you're shaking.

These are reasons why I won't leave, reasons why I stay. Don't tell me you're fine, cause I know you're not. Don't tell me you're brave cause I know you're scared. Don't tell me 'you don't know me' cause I know you. Don't talk to me like I don't know what you feel.

So please, let me stay, let me be a shoulder for you to lean on, let me wipe your tears, let me tell you good things, let me be with you,

Forever and always,"