Her ghost lingers
in my mind, and yours.
she whom coloured you in the past,
she whom shattered your heart in the past..

She is etched to my mind,
buried by you.. you shattered me..

I wonder,
is she your trauma
or is she your love eternally.
I'm confused, who am i to you.

You loved classic rock love songs
but you've never loved me like the lyrics...
One day I found out
we are in The Three of Wands tarot card relationship...
I understand now...

I'm paralysed on a field of wilted roses and sunflowers.
weeping.. on the cold ground.
Have you painted my skies winter solstice.
merciless and intentionally..

I'm drowning,
gasping for air, I'm cold...
help..

One month and a half
my heart was aching
but i'm watering my soul
so it turns from black to yellow.

One month and a half
I swallowed your black pills
you gave me when you walked away
and i'm a few pills away to recovering.

One month and a half
our minds and souls were disconnected
and the flame in heart was fading
when you knocked on my door one night
begging, kissing me with the word "I still loved you"
a hundred times.
Travesty..

Goodbye was your body
long gone before your love.
Goodbye was your voice
love, and words.
Swift as the wind,
excruciating as the sun flaring my skin...
Your ghost stayed,
lingering in my mind, and heart.
Pinching my heart,
every single day.
Unfair, it hurts.

my heart pacing in steady states,
beating the same as the days
we were strangers
when we were unison
in status
but not in mind, heart and soul.

This longing is toxicating
I’m high of emotions
Bad ones, sad, anger
I long for that soft touch
Of your hands on my skin
And your velvet voice to whisper
On my ears
I long to know you
Your skin, hair and lips.
I want to hold you.

As days passed by
kissing death seems like a great escape
as my soul is too weary to carry on
too lonely to live.

When you walked away
you took half of me
my strength,
my confident,
my laughter,
my colours,
now i'm as dim as i was before
you whisper the word love.
How can I not love someone
who made me kiss myself in the night.

stupid girl
you're different, complex
stupid girl
you're not a princess, flawed
no one will love you baby girl
she's your only friend,
you yourself.,
stop believing you'll ever be loved.

2 months my heart is in the darkest place
shattered by him
and finally
I can grow sunflowers in my garden
and burn the wilted roses he gave
and floats with waves of fate.

I still remember
The sense of comfort
Came with your laughter
Sync with my laughter,
It sends electric down my spine
And butterflies in my stomach.
I missed that day,
I missed you,
I'm missing you.

I curse myself
for consuming and
for surrendering myself
to your toxic words.
I drank your rosie sea of words,
treacherous yet tempting
and now i'm drown
and dehydrated as my soul
and mind and heart
are shattered and devastated.

The sunshine and storm

are the package he came with.

I felt in love

hoplessly and unconciously with him.

Because of him

I unwillingly tasted

the true heart break

and the sorrow of falling in love, being in love and falling out of love.

My first love, him.

Now i'm scared of falling in love...

I painted a world full of happiness
In my mind
I painted it with words
Of rainbow and fairytale (poetry)
Because the reality is dark and poisonous.
The world is my paradise.

Cold midnight air nudging me
With memories of a room
Painted and built
With bitter sweet memories
Where our bodies and souls collided.
I was in the past that night
Echoed by your laughs
And the smell of the room; smell of you
Vividly fills my lungs
And I'm cried
Because that was 2 years ago
And I knew
you're someone else's now.

Your words cloths in sugar

sweet to my ear; to my soul.

Your words are sweet yet are made of fire

and my cold heart fell for the treacherous warm.

My head is giddy full of your red roses words

and I'm basking in your words like a moon shining on me.

But I know you're lost and your soul is blue. Now.

and I'm the red wine

soon will be forgotten when you're red again.

The day I met you
Is the day when i started to read love poetry
Is the day when I started to write some
The day I met you
Was the day I cried
Watching romantic movies
Was the day I dance to
Love songs.
The day I met you
Was the day I knew
I'll be ruined
But you're the flame
And I'm a moth
You're beautiful and I'm
Drawn yo you

She drinks the soul of innocence
to fill in the void
every night like her favorite red wine.
She couldn't bear the emptiness
so she poured words
and lures the souls
and devoured them,
dismisses the fact she'd ****
their hearts.

She drinks the soul of innocence
to fill in the void
every night like her favorite red wine.
She couldn't bear the numbness
so she touches their skins
and kisses their necks
and turned them blue,
dismisses the fact they'd ****
her with diseases.

She is lost...

Young blood
narrowed mind
made of adrenaline
high on 420 in front of policemen.

The day I met you
I know my dark side
would capture your face
and made you her lover.
I know you'll be the thunder
that'll send electric all over my body
and be my wish on 11:11.
now i'm left with nothing
but my dark side,
and the sparkle eyes you gave
and charming smile you cast on me.

The notes I play on my guitar
sings the perfect flaws that you have,
the perfect scars you have on your skins
the perfect nose that you hated
the butterfly bat of your eyelashes
the perfect weird ways you laugh
the perfect riddled words you said.

The melody capture
the yearn of my heart
to be one with yours,
that is owned by her.

The lyrics I wrote
are the memories that we had,
the way you open your arms
to hug me
when I'm cold and distant
and the way you offer me the dance
when I was as bitter as the coffee
and made me dance like a child.

You're the lyrics that I wrote
coloured by my blue vibe,
splashed with my tears
while you're dancing with her
and kiss her pain away.

i'm giddy
because of the oxygen
and the thoughts
I'm lost and i'm alone
crying and screaming to the sky
asking when will my time come
to not be alone in this forest of despair.
I'm just a human
and the person that I cared,
pushed me away
and one reaction
produce another chain reactions.
I'm so tired, my tears are almost blood
of being alone, crying alone,
bottling my emotions and feelings
OH GOD PLEASE,
GIVE ME A BREAK.

The velvet part of me
is my enemy.
My tears are inexpensive;
I cried at littlest things.
I cried listening to slow songs
I cried watching indie movies,
sometimes cartoon.
I too cried reading novels
and
I cried when people left.
I wish I wasn't fragile
as butterfly's wings.
I wish I don't stay on the ground; to not feel too much
but high on the cloud nine; to feel less.

I saw you again today and I'm confused. I asked god why? I have liked you and I wrote about you but this is reality and you're hers. And today after so many years and tears and bad poetry, I can look at you like I look at some strangers-I feel nothing.

You're the reason
I write bad poetry.
Because you're
on my mind constantly
so I have to write you down
because you made me
feel
and I'm brimful
of emotions and words
because of you.
It was a curse to have you
in my life
but you're also the muse
to my beautiful poems.

To be the daughter of sadness
Is exhausting
My soul is worn out
Everytimea my tears drop.
And the worst part
it's eternity. For now.

You said my words are magic
and I smiled while I cried
because my words come from
shattered heart
and bleeding soul.

Poetry is Mona Lisa,
timeless,
alive,
beautiful, mysterious and sometimes chaotic,

Poetry is the garden of secret,
full of craved trees with memories
of yesterday, today or tomorrow,
memories of dancing to the joyous melody in the living room
or memories of weeping due to sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

Poetry is the purple hand
touching the haggard and joyous souls,
towering hearts on cold dark night and sunny loud night,

Poetry is a diary
to souls impotent to pour the spectrum
of colors in the heart and mind
onto blank paper.

What's scary?

What's scary
is when you don't feel happy;
you can't smile under the azure sky.

What's scary
is when you see all the skies are forever grey;
you can't taste the sweet in your favorite chocolate.

What's scary
is when you look into the mirror
and you can see
your eyes are empty.

The time past
and so do memories.
My mind is numb
and I felt nothing,
but sadness.
I'm empty
but my hand
and
my heart
are not unison.
I'm curious
but I'm scared
for I no longer can write
because now night time
is just darkness
and an empty room literally.

Aesthetic lights, stars and souls,
crowding the place consuming the blithe vibes.
Happy musics reflected on the hearts
of hundreds of people whom seek to feel alive.
On the one night all hearts are union
ending the chapter of one book,
starting the chapter of other book
with fireworks as the starting point.

Your face is a question mark
so does is your words.
you smiled and laughed
but all I could see is questions.
I tried and touched your heart
and mind,
but still your fences are towering.
You're the riddle
of missing pieces.

Liar.
The word men used
to describe pretty woman
with art on her face.
He loved her face
but not her heart
which is also an art.

Now he's full of rage
when she wiped the art
from her face.

For it should be beautiful
and admired
because she's naked; vulnerable
not despised.

She loved her art
for that is her nature
and men, remember to
See the art on her heart too.

Melancholic soul
born from
comparison of superficial beauty
from the society.
Made her sing melancholic songs
and howl at the stars at night; crying and wishing she could
be Aphrodite.

Santa Claus is coming
delivering sun
on this cold winter day.

The sun that change sour face
into cotton candy sweet,
happy face into rays of sun.

Santa Claus is coming
bringing love
to warm our cold bodies.

Santa Claus is coming
wishing merry Christmas!

I glimpse at you
And you spread glitter on my heart
I can't help but to write you
Because you're a masterpiece
Of skin.
The shade of purple
You projected  
Is beautiful as poetry.

I destroy myself to feel alive
I destroy myself to feel sane
I destroy myself to feel content

be careful boy with your sweet words.
broken girls fall in love easily
because void heart is dangerous.
Be careful boy,
she'd **** herself in the name of love.

the way you played my heart string
send me to the abyss
shattering my heart into pieces.

you're killing me slowly
with your beautiful deathly diseased mind
and i'm your slave.

you're making me high in ecstasy
with your red rose words
and i'm addicted to your.