I miss you so bad
My chest hurts everyone I think of you
I broke down and cried and I couldn't stop
It just hurt so bad
And I know I should be grateful because I get to see you
But I can't when the dull ache in my chest won't go away
I ******* hate this
I feel so weak
But I love you

I want
to wright poetry that makes you cry and think about thing that you aren't comfortable with
but I'm not that good
yet

I need to change
I don't know if that means taking a break from you
Or eating more chocolate
I need to be happy
I can't live with the pain in my chest
It needs to stop
I'm sorry

Tuesday the 26th of April
one of the worst days of my life
I woke up and felt the dread of the day
hanging over me like a dark cloud
I cried till my head hurt
and refused food
I ran away from my problems  
and now my *** hurts from all the walking
but the good part came after the throwing up
after the sobbing and screaming
it was when the sky was turning dark
and the stars where coming out
I ended up as a broken mess
at my big brothers house
sobbing and shaking
begging for it to be over
he held me close
and helped me get to the other side of my pain
I was fed and washed
and by the end of the night I was better
I was clean and full
and I got to see my sweetheart
so I thank my big bro
I love you so much

you deserve to be happy
to be loved
to smile and laugh
you deserve every happy moment I have ever had
and that is a life time of happy moments
if I could I would take all my happy and bottle it
slip it into your tea when your not looking
just so I could see you smile
because you deserve to not be afraid of your dark
of what you might or might not do
because I love you
I want to help you
please let me
you deserve to get better

bored
so ******* bored
tick
...
tock
...
tick
...
tock
I want to smash that stupid clock
time drags on like a dress caught in thorns
pulling at the soft fabric
tick
...
tock
...
tick
...
tock
thats it
time to die
******* clock