It's been drifting through the halls like a breeze sneaking through the window again.
I know we have all loved,
And we have all lost,
But losing such a game can be nearly impossible to swallow.

She came in through the door with Merlot stained teeth,
Speaking soft cries for the past in a high pitched voice for a few moments on the phone,
"Remember the first time I told you I loved you?"
"But we were different then."
And man on the other line,
I remembered who he was, with his thick rimmed glasses and bright blue eyes,
Stole the heart of my sister and a bit of her soul,
Now he just gives her a few minutes of his time as a small reminder.

I myself felt unwell.

My chest still felt swollen in a message from a match strike of a love,
Delivered by friends nonchalantly on the couch.
I drowned him in my aura
And set his heart on fire,
Too fast and too soon,
And it broke his heart too.

I'm trying to let it be nothing,
Take it out of myself like loose change in my pockets.
Let it be the nothing like it really almost was.

I know we have all loved,
And we have all lost,
But losing such a game can be nearly impossible to swallow.

Notice we always want,
what we do not have?
Mostly its money,
recognition or such.

Or, it's what we missed
or left behind.  
We pine for the
should have been ours.

Selfishly.

For we ignore,
this great gift.
We simply overlook,
what reflects in the mirror.

A unique collection of cells,
a grouping of thoughts,
living.  An unnatural state,
by rights, it would appear.

So maybe we should
instead consider ourselves,
unbelievably fortunate.
In simply living.

What happened?
What happened to us?
What happened to the happy memories we had.
I never forgot you.
I still care.
But some things can't be forced.
I never wanted to hurt you but I can't escape the inevitable
All I can do is to lessen the pain.

How would you describe to your child
the difference of papers and pages
That one is used for numbers
and one is for letters

Give her a book instead

Let her open these pages, these papers
Let her discover that they are similar
and different in both ways

You use the other one for your eyes
and the other one for your hands

Let her feel every page
Let her see every paper
But let her see every page
and feel every paper

Let her wonder with curiosity
that she'd like to get more books
just to know their similarities and differences
Let these be her defenses
from boys who walk up to her

Let her know there are similarities and differences
to a boy and a man

That you use one for your eyes
and one for your hands
how you look for a boy
and touch a man
How you get swerved by his looks
and how you get moved by his actions
How one uses you for his own eyes
just to look at everyday
for display
for everybody to see that he got this kind of girl
with the sun in her eyes and moon in her mouth

And how one not uses you
but walks with you
and treats you like you're no ordinary girl
cause you're a woman
with flowers in her hair that grow overnight
and roads on her feet that take you everywhere

Remember these things

And let her feel every man
and see every boy
but let her see every man
and feel every boy

Remember all these things
there are similarities and differences

How one gives you numbers
to spend on material things
but never makes you happy

And how one gives you letters
combined to form words
He'll give them out to you
handed out with gift wrap on it

And how these numbers
provide needs for your body
and how these letters
give out needs for your soul

Remember these things

Like how I'm writing this out
with pages and papers
but this wouldn't have been done
without the pen above
and hands that wrote
these numbers of letters

So, honey
you may not need pages or papers
but you'll need a tongue and a soul
to speak this out to your child
who's still confused of how
pages and papers
come with similarities and differences
and soon she'll grow up
and know that even you, yourself
don't know how it came to be like this

So, you'll pick up a book
you'll feel its pages and papers
you'll see its papers and pages

with a pen in your hand

when you look into a persons eyes
you see inside
the part they don't want to open up and show you
you see who they are
their past
their present
and you see if you want to be apart of their future
you see the hurt
the pain
the loss
the everlasting memories burned into their brain
leaving burns and scars and scary thoughts
you see their life
their adventures
their misfortunes
but you also see their good times
the treasures that they hold close
to make them feel like it's not all bad
looking into someones eyes is a journey
exploring the little fragments and seeing what they hold in their nooks and crannies
so look someone in the eyes
when you talk to them
when you lie next to them
and just wander
feel their spirit
their energy
just by looking into their eyes
into their lost soul
getting lost with them
within them
for eternity