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  Jan 2015 Candy Noire
Christopher Lowe
What is hope
No more than
A condition of desire
And in desire
Always lies
A possibility
But false hope
Is not false desire
It is
To hope
Against hope
Rather
A lie of
desire
Candy Noire Jan 2015
I'm grieving for a year that I held dear to me
For a year that taught me
That people will leave
But others will follow.
For a year that taught me that pain
Should be taken with a pinch of salt
And a shot of tequila
I mourn for a year of lost lovers
For now they have truly gone
A clean slate lays before me
But I wish that I could still hold on.
A year of fighting and kicking
To make something of myself
Or completely erase the things I've done
Thing's I've said
A year I made it to the hospital bed.
I mourn for a year I found myself
Found real friends and lost people I love
And now we move onto the next year
It's up to me now to make this one count.
Candy Noire Dec 2014
We do what we do for a reason
And you may not understand my life
I cannot understand mine either
But it makes so little sense to fight
With the people I owe my success to
I'm successful in only one way
But success always leads to a downfall
And that is always the part that I play
No damsel in distress but I'm waiting
Because deep down I need to be saved
Cause my greatest enemy is myself
And my actions cut deep like razor blades
And I know deep inside I have power
But to release it takes more than I have
Maybe one day I'll stand on my own feel
Maybe one day I can just please myself.
  Dec 2014 Candy Noire
Sylvia Plath
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
  Dec 2014 Candy Noire
Charles Bukowski
the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.
  Dec 2014 Candy Noire
Emily Dickinson
126

To fight aloud, is very brave—
But gallanter, I know
Who charge within the *****
The Cavalry of Woe—

Who win, and nations do not see—
Who fall—and none observe—
Whose dying eyes, no Country
Regards with patriot love—

We trust, in plumed procession
For such, the Angels go—
Rank after Rank, with even feet—
And Uniforms of Snow.
  Dec 2014 Candy Noire
Syd
loving you
was like having heart burn
on the wrong side of my chest
and doing my best to pretend
that still I felt nothing
in all of the places where
you once touched me

neck
collarbone
the backside of my knees

you destroyed me from the inside out
with such delicacy
that at times
I convinced myself it wasn't even
happening

loving you was a disease
that I wish
I could remember having

but now
I simply
feel
nothing
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