you loved me
yet we didn’t work out

you loved me
but we never lasted

you loved me
and it was what made
the end so painful

you loved me

and i’m sorry that
i could not love you

as much as i would like to
tell you my excuses,
i would not because
i know that after all this ****,
it’s not what you want to hear

and i know you want me to say that
at some point in our time together
i loved you too,
even if it was just a bit

but then,
i would be lying

i’m sorry for us to end like this
and i’m sorry if i seem harsh;
i just want to stop lying to you
even if it’s a little too late

because this letter is not to
make me nor you feel better,
it’s about the truth

and this is the truth

i was lenient and unappreciative
and i was (and am)
a fool for not making you feel loved
when all you did was love me

but then again,
you loved me too much
and gave all of your heart
to someone who didn’t want it
in the first place,
without realizing
that you needed it
to live

and i’m sorry you had to wonder
all this time about my feelings
that it led you to the point
where you plucked all your petals
and ended up with nothing

i hope one day
someone would love you
as much as you loved me,
love you so much
that you’d never pick off
your petals in a
guessing game of love,
so much that you’d
always have fresh roses

I want his hair
I want his eyes
I want his features to be mine.

I want his friends
I want his girl
I want to live his life.

I want to be him,
Because he has her
She makes the world go round
But he doesn't even notice her.

He ignores her.
I adore her,
Does she know I exist?

I would treat her better,
I would make her my world,
If she would only know I exist.

I see the way she looks hopelessly at him,
Eyes full of love.

How I wish I had her love like that
Even her attention would be a marvel to me.

But oh, I cannot have her.
I cannot have her
Nor her words,
Nor her touch or her gaze.

I cannot have her eyes look upon me with that love which she so willingly gives to someone else.

I could never be the apple of her eye,
But here I remain.
I will sit and wait, a lowly apple in the orchard,
Longing for the day when she finally picks me.

I have fallen for you
But I am terrified
You are a part of the world
I haven't visited yet

i make the night my own
slip it on like a cloak
I stay unseen
its better this way
out of sight
but just as real
maybe more so.

i.

the grey ghosts
water to the sky,
pond to the
breaking air,

the blues are
cloudy
islands and
stars, lily pad
gold-green
dream of monet-
light.

ii.

love drifts,
scurries over
the water like
a dragonfly,
her wings the light
flowing, melting
in its breathful
streams

falling
falling
in the delicate
colours of
spring with
its tide-like
ebb and flow.

iii.

i held you
close and you
were the
aching spring,
the bright
opals of the moon,

i held you close
and all i could see
where the blues of
the pond, the
snake-silver
stream of starlight
and flower,

you were the
aching bronzes
of the rivery
pools, the still
water's paradise
of blue and white.

iv.

capture me
in the cloudy
isles of
the bright
lilies,

i am the melting
light, the frail
bloom with its
zen-like peace,
church of quiet
air, hopeful stream
of ache and light.

v.

ghost-enamels
of impression,

silently, the sun
sinks and the golds
of spring blossom
like a spell.

Oh beautiful soul
Create worlds
Within yourself
So that you can see
You were made for
More than this one

~j.m.tamis

all out of poems.
too much work
not enough play.