What do you want from me?
What response do you desire?
A stanza for your pride?
Or a verse for you to ply?

I keep stumbling forward,
regardless of your call.
I proceed in forward motion,
even though I wish to fall.

My desire to live onward,
only matched by my disregard to die.
My continued, empty living,
Only matched by my fear to hurt, to lie.  

I could easily just end it,
like so many before.
Yet I choose to suffer,
because suffering is real.

Reality I crave so much,
I no longer even feel.

Someday I will,
and that day will be my last.
Don’t fear for me, dear hate,
for then I will be the past,
and not matter – which I already knew.
Not many understand

Why do you worry so?
For what of this shall come?
What results of all the sweat,
you bleed from pours undone.

Whether concerned for every breath,
or careless as the sea,
do you really think a single thought you have,
will have effect on me?

I apologize – how patronizing,
how thoughtless I have been.
You just make it so easy dear,
it’s actually quite obscene.

Sleep now, not unconscious,
but rather blind to hear,
that you could escape
my control of you by fear.
If only you walked away.

I knew this man of strength and girth
a giant of a man
Not one could surpass his strength
not one his size of hand
Still he died

I knew a lady of beauty pure
who from perfection dripped
That every man desired
and each woman to be wished
And still she passed

I knew a man of riches
who built a house of gold
With money so preposterous
he thought he’d not grow old
Who was buried all alone

Count your money
Count your blessings
Count the love within your life
It matters not what count you keep
but know that all who strive
will End

I found a pair of shoes while walking
across a bridge like I often do
Neatly placed below the rail
as if they expected you
but you shall not return

I found them on my stroll to town
which I take on Sunday am
Neatly placed there
as though you’d come again
but you shall see them no more

I dare not disturb them
These shoes which do not know
that I gazed upon your presence
In broken disregard in waterway below
for you shall see them no more

Instead I walked onward
with errands far too many
And attempted not think of how your shoes
reminded me of me
and my desire to join you there

and be seen no more

When darkness comes with grip so tight
and breath somewhere afar
time stands so still
a moment… to struggle… and yet
I breathe

When hollow feelings clench so firm
and each exhale longs wondering
If inhale will follow
and time stands as still as death itself
I breathe

When thoughts of failure and loss
replace the very thought of breathing
and every negative voice impales
My heart… that nearly stops
Still I breathe
so shallow… yet I breathe

and my sorrows await another night
to feed