At the rooftop sitting,
My mind keeps on wondering.
Sun has set minutes ago,
But everything seems so slow.
As the wind touches my skin,
The feeling of sadness comes crashing in.
All I see is darkness,
Making everything look heartless.

i

My heart aches
no, it’s not from heartbreak,
i know what you’re thinking —

it’s from missing heartbreak,
its ends, middle grounds and beginnings
and all the love  — sweet, pure bloomed love —
that came with it

It aches, knowing i don’t feel love
no i really don’t remember
how it feels to fall so deep and cry so hard

for a person
because they start talking to someone else
more than they talk to you

tell me,
would you rather experience heartbreak again?
just to feel the love you yearned so very much at the start?
to know that you have fallen so deep — loved so hard, that you dedicate everything
to only one single person

one single person

One day you're hugging me
Laughing till our stomachs hurt
Calling me your other half,
your twin.

The next day,
I receive your cold shoulder
Everything we were yesterday,
It's gone.

No more laughing,
But ignoring.
I don't hear your voice talking to me anymore,
But to someone else's.
I ask you a question,
you let the silence respond.

At night
I can't sleep,
trying to figure out what I did wrong.
What did I say?
What did I do?

I know you well enough,
To have a feeling what the problem is.
But I can't accept that feeling,
Because you're just too stubborn
To admit I'm right.
I'm being punished for being right.
Is that even fair?

But I want your company,
I want your voice talking to me
I want you next to me,
joking, goofing around.
I need that.

So I wait,
Knowing it's just a phase.
A phase that happens one too many times.

This cycle just keeps going on,
And I can't stop it.
Deep down I know,
That I have to let you go.
You're toxic.
You will be the death of me.
But I can't bring myself to do that.
I love your other side way too much.

So I just wait.
My heart continuously breaking.
I'm constantly trying to sew it back.
But what's done is done.

And one day,
All my heart will be given to you.
But your heart is far away talking to someone else.
Because I cared too much,
Trying to help you
Left me with this silent treatment.
Trying to speak my mind
Left me with a cold shoulder.

You said you loved me,
But sometimes I was just a stranger to you.
Maybe you were bipolar.
But that's no reason to forgive the way you treated me.

Just keep writing
Just keep writing
Pay attention in class
Are you taking this in?

Will you find
Your soulmate, A soulmate,
Anyone that will love you
Like mother did?
Wait…
Have you got everything?

It’s true what they say about fear;
It is the unknown.
But what is definitely known
Are the mistakes we make.

You thought this would end,
Now you have to keep going
Otherwise it won’t be satisfactory.
I wonder what those last words will be?