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  Apr 2016 burning bright
wordvango
just a leaf left
on the pillow next to me
now, a whisper of smoke
vapor tracing your path

out the door
going back to the
limb I stole you from,
the place you must return

I rake my bed for more,
try to make
a place
for you to fall

again, next time.
  Apr 2016 burning bright
Tea
I lost myself today
Have you maybe seen me?
I got lost in the crowd of
who they want me to be

I lay awake in bed
Perhaps I'll start to feel
Dreams are all I have
to know that I'm still real

A spear blows through my chest
Again I start to fall
I scream for help once more
But no one hears my call

Where do I go now
that I'm behind this wall?
Everyone I trust
leaves me lost after all

The walls are closing in
My chains cut deeper still
The echoes start to scream
They go in for the ****

The voices seem to say
"The truth will set you free"
The only one to save myself
has always been me

If I could go back now
and carry what I've learned
I'd find myself again
to try and stop the hurt.
"What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end"

my sort of tribute to the wonderfully heart wrenching "Hurt"
her eyes were turned to the stars
yet he was looking only at her
and in bittersweet unison
they both sighed at the distance
  Feb 2016 burning bright
Tea
They all went and they passed.
They were my blessings,
lessons
saviors
and my downfalls too.
They gave me
calmness and happiness,
before putting me straight in
the eye of the hurricane.
They gave me a lot to remember,
those who came before you.
They were a lot of things,
but there's one thing
they never were.

And now, you are my heart,
my soul,
my peace,
a part of my dreams.
You are my laughter
and my tears.
You are the songs that I sing
and the words that I bleed.
You are my weakness
and my greatest strength.
But the most important thing
that you are,
that no one ever was before -

You are my home.
27/2/2015
the day everything changed
"The universe planned for us. I know it. I know it." ~Beau Taplin
  Jan 2016 burning bright
Tea
Late at night,
when I can't fall asleep,
I see your eyes in the shadows
on the walls
I feel your touch on my skin
through the blankets
I hear your voice whispering
masked by the wind
I almost see you standing next to my bed
but I know you're not really there.
I think to myself "how many years has it been?"
When was the first time you were here?
Was it when I was eleven and my grandmother was ill
and I watched her die
for months?
Was it before that?
Was it when I realized my mother doesn't truly understand me, and perhaps that she doesn't want to?
Was it when my friends betrayed me the first time?
When I realized I can only count on myself?
Because it somehow feels like
you've always been there.
When I first came home from school in bruises and tears,
you greeted me in the confinement of my four walls
and my room was no longer my solace.
When my mother shamed me for not being the best,
even when I tried so hard,
your whispers in my head got louder.
When my grandfather got older and he seemed to have a hard time remembering exactly why this teenage girl lived in the same house as him,
you finally had enough strength
to grab my face when you thought I was asleep.
When my first love betrayed me,
you wrapped yourself around me and started standing on my shoulders.
I could feel you weighing me down with each passing day.
So now I ask you,
it's been so many years.
Please
get off my back
and leave my head.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your presence tears me apart from the inside.
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