Maybe in May we’ll drive to New York,
Maybe in May you’ll say we could work.
I’ve loved you since January,
On my 17th birthday,
When another boy’s arm was around me but I wanted it to be yours.
When I looked around and saw you first.
I want to drive away with you,
But I can never be with you,
I’ll always just be a faint smell from the passenger seat,
Smelling like a candle that’s been blown out,
I hope my name never is meaningless in your mouth,
I love your wood-grain heart,
I think I’ll see you soon. Four months will change a man.

I hope when you leave,
You don’t think about leaving me.
I hope we stay friends,
I hope we still have the 2 a.m talks.
I love the way you told me goodbye,
I love that you knew from day one.
I think you know me too well,
I think you see me too clearly
You’re my friend and I wish I could disappear with you.
I’m never sure if you’re smiling at me or looking just over my shoulder.
I hope you come back in April,
I hope we go on that road trip in May.
I wish I could say the things I’m too stressed to say.
I’m missing you like hell, although I’ll smile when you drive away.

I wish you’ve never heard me laugh,
I wish you’ve never seen me cry.
I hate how without even looking, you can tell I’m upset,
I hate when you can tell I’m lying.
I want every night to be like November,
I want you to race back to my house and spend two hours with me in the driveway.
I want to be your biggest fan.
I love how you say you’ll call,
I love the tattoo on your right shoulder that you never posted,
I love how irritated you get when I say ‘never mind’
I love to imagine I mean something to you, maybe just a fraction of a thought.
I want to yell at you and pick fights,
I want to tell you you’re insane when you swerve on the road to avoid the potholes,
I want to be the best friend you thought you didn’t need,
I want to hold your hand.
I know you’re leaving me in the rubble,
I know you’re driving far, far away,
I know why you’re leaving too.
I want to know your heart like how you’ve come to live in mine,
I want to know you like how you’ve come to know me.

Perpetual desolation was my wondering,
I had succumb to the envalabilties of solitudes abandoned
breath,. And it was a bleak environment of reflection.

But in that moment of my absenteeism a beacon shone
first it was but a shade in obscurity, then weaving into
the eclipse of the soul I awoke to its beauty.

She shone in my eyes, yet I was not blinded but
awoken from my seclusion. And where I was forlorn,
now I was for the first time seeing the beauty of her.

Pressed between book ends and whiskey bottles
Our drunken breathe baited for affection
Wanting love to find ourselves
The unabridged version

We search glossary definitions looking for a respite of tainted
Cursively speaking alcoholic cacophonies
We rode the light energy of 5 in the morning
Leaving behind the pages of insecurities

That night we confessed the unthinkable
Begging for our names to written in the manifest of history
Wanting nothing more than to be each others sunrise
Slurring our last names into one, till death do us part

I see your beautifully sad emerald eyes
I see the glow of your skin with the sun rise
I see the furrow between your brow as you frown
I see how easily in you I could drown
I see your thick raven curls and how they move as the wind blows
I see the gentle ***** of your strong nose
I see the curve of your sly grin as you tell dry jokes
I see your long slender fingers which lead into large strong hands
I see your statuesque height when you stand
I see the innocent kindness in your face so I love to stare
I also fear the anger in it beyond compare
I see you change every day; mostly in a good way
I see so much  potential and intelligence
I see how you could blossom with due diligence
I see the excitement in your eyes and smile when you learn a new skill
I see the way you leave your heart open waiting to be filled
Perhaps it's my fear of your criticism
Perhaps it's my pride, my shyness, or my cynicism
That I don't express how much I see in you
We both know I'm not one to boast, but
You are the one I see and love most
Each day I discover about you something new
Do you see me as much as I see you?

Who are you
To assume
That you are capable
Of escaping
The inescapable?
Mother's white-washed
Nourishment, propaganda teet
A taste
Acquired early,
Now it's all you can eat.
Nestled in protagonism,
Coddled by media,
Limited brains were
Your encyclopedia.
College wakes you
"Even my Mother is blind"
and you wonder how it was you lost your mind?