shout at the TV
shout at the cat
shout at your wife
shout at the noise outside
shout at yourself in the mirror
shout at your life
shout it all to rights
three minute man
watch the door slam.

It is so dark. I do not remember who turned off the lights, but I wish they hadn’t. The darkness is in full control of the situation. It holds me here, silent and awake. I have now listened to her sob heavily into her pillow for what seems like hours. At one point she would have hidden that from me, tried harder to muffle the sound. We are past that point. Through her tears we are both drowning.

**** plunging short black dress,
Maroon lipstick, just so,
Perfume sprayed
Just a hint here, here and also here,
Clutching the purse
she steps out;
Entrapment laid.

There he awaits,
blinded by beauty and lust,
not aware
the trap has been set.

A light brush of cheeks,
perfume inhaled deeply,
Smitten, trapped.

Coyly smiling,
this is too easy, she thinks.

i'm still in love with a boy
born in the hottest days of summer
with hair as wild as the winds of the north.

the boy with a heart of gold
and the soul of a small child.

the boy who could probably be a time traveller
in his next life,
just inches away from the galaxies
of his imagination.

Out there shivering in the night,
Without any fire or any light,
I was found.

A lost soul without hope,
A heart made of stone,
Was found.

Warm hands helped me
As I lay on ground lifeless dead.
I was found.

Out of nowhere did you come from.
Out of nowhere did you find me.

Because of you I am alive,
Because of you I am here.

And I love you for you have found me.

There's so many words pushing against my lips from inside my mouth.
The kind of words and phrases that are true in meaning but can leave the speaker bleeding in regret.
It's so soon but feels so certain like summer after spring.
Constantly up at night thinking of anything and everything in the context of you.
I'm rushing in a dimension where time almost stands still hoping to catch you before someone does.
I see your two eyes and in them there is you and there is I, hoping it remains that way.

But in the mess of all this, I stay calm. Hold your hand, wish, and let it play it's course.

So far, so good.

There would be my small world
but with your so big embrace
my little heart
into bigger yours
my thin breath
into specious yours
my whispered words
as the gap between missing yours
I hope to be cuddled
by your silence
There would be my small world
but with the harmony of your heart

It's funny.
How your bed can be your best friend or your worst enemy
How it contains your worst nightmares and most splendid dreams
And how awful it is.
That people don't know how you feel
when you wake up and you still think the demons are real

Morning after morning I'm in fear when I wake
Trying to calm down fearing what it will take
and when I look back on what i did while I slept
I shake.

Because I cannot trust myself
While I am asleep.

12/37/14



Our love flourished in the winter
In a place where it never really got cold
Your eyes were always icicles
And your smell like winter wind

You come off as cold
But maybe as winter progresses toward spring
And life reveals itself from under its snow blanket
You heart too will awaken