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Alyssa Gregory May 2020
Was I just the girl who wore too slutty clothes? Was I just an easy target? Was it my fault you did this? What did you do to me? Maybe I should thank you. Maybe it was fate. I want to try and battle my thoughts and question, but it all comes back to that car and pain. I think I figured it was because I was young, dumb, easy, and slutty. In reality, it was your fault. You chose to put your hands on a small fragile minor. You decided to put your fingers inside of a small innocent being. You had those nasty thoughts and ideas. You made the choice. You should have been in the correct state of mind to not touch, feel, and hurt a small child. Maybe it is my fault. I let you do it without knowing better or fighting back. Maybe I should be able to go places without flashbacks of you feeling me up and breaking down in a bathroom. Or be able to walk down the road without having pepper spray in my purse. Maybe I should thank you for what you did to me. You made me grow up and soon ruin my life with stupid habits. Having an addiction to *** and trying to act thrice my age. Maybe I was the stupid one and I should be the one in jail. Maybe one day you'll think back and regret it. I think maybe you should rot and rot and rot until one day you see the meanest man you'll ever see. This is for you. You know who you are. I hope one day I will have the guts to sit in front of you and tell you everything I want to say.   All I do is hurt good people now. You broke me. This is my farewell to you, you will never be able to find me or relatively be able to fix what you've done to me.
This is a message for him.
Alyssa Gregory Jan 2018
Little army child smiling like shes not dying inside from her father being gone almost everyday for the past 8 years... Her mother wishes she could see him everyday of her life. But her dear father looks at all his friends he has made in the army. He was in boot camp when his youngest daughter was born. He is closer to his older daughter then his son and youngest daughter. He doesn't seem to care his kids suffer from depression and cry their selfs to sleep. His youngest child looks out of her window wondering why the ****** had to break and she had to be born.
I have some feelings related to this but it most i made up.
Alyssa Gregory Sep 2019
Change
       Comes
                And
                      Goes
                            Thoughts
                                           Stay
                                                   And
                                                          Hurt
                                                                  You
Alyssa Gregory Apr 2019
Learning to grow up is hard, mostly when you lose yourself in a dark place. You learn to grow up when you lose someone close to you or when something clicks in your mind that you can not get something you need anymore. The more pressure you have on yourself, the more change that happens. Embrace the change, do not bring the past with you. Move on, evolve, change and become a better you. No matter what happens now, most of the pressure on you now will press you into a beautiful person. Mistakes may be made but it will only be in the past. Nothing matters as much as your life to yourself.
:) changing for the better
Alyssa Gregory Mar 2019
I got high off your memory... I got a cigarette addiction from your marks left in my mind... I still have pictures that remind me of you and movies I can't watch without crying... I am over you but I still can't help but think what if you never left me broken and scared.
oof
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2018
Why am I a mess?
Why am I suicidal?
What made him leave me fearlessly?
Let me tell you about my day, he started dating a girl who hates my guts. He treats me like **** and ******* hates me.
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
Every time I go to sleep all I see is that look as I close my eyes
Dream, Dream Go Away
Why does this dream of a car running into me keep happening
Dream, Dream go away
Why is this dream killing me everytime I close my eyes
Dream, Dream Go Away
BAM! Oh...I thought it was a dream but it was just the cold, hard, truth of my death
Dream, Dream your my reality
Nothing is wrong im just a writer
Alyssa Gregory Sep 2018
Drip... Drop... Drip... Drop...
A sound that every teenager seems to hear
As the sound rings in their ears, they seem to break down more and more
The sound of their blood dropping on the counter or floor
The pain feels good for a moment then slowly and slowly becoming worse
Drip... Drop... Drip... Drop...
idk ;)
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
You see her...
You watch her...
You talk to her...
You laugh with her...
You like her...
You ask her...
You love her...
You date her...
You ask her...
You fight with her...
You lose her...
You lost her...
You get her...
You marry her...
You spend time with her...
You love her...
Her.
Her.
HER.
HER...
Ima make one with her point of view
Alyssa Gregory Sep 2018
Her boyfriend makes her smile...
Her boyfriend makes her laugh...
Her boyfriend makes her sad...
He loves her...
She loves him...
But lies and trust breaks...
What happens???
They fall in love with each other knowing nothing can break them apart
it's adorable their friends say...
Alyssa Gregory Jan 2018
When my sister told me she had depression I cried.
And Cried
And Cried
then i understood because i would too from everything we have gone through.
She makes me smile and laugh but also cry and fight with her.
She has some good days but somedays she has bad ones where she tells me its getting harder to get out of her bed or not to overdose but even though she might think i dont pay attention to her or watch or listen is very small i look up to her, She is 1 in a million to me and very rare
this one is personal
Alyssa Gregory Nov 2017
Her heart is sweet.
My heart is spicey.
Her love is beautiful.
My love is ugly.
Her smile is dainty.
My smile is disgusting.
Her heart is my heart
Alyssa Gregory Mar 2018
The girl you made fun of yesterday went home and cried until she fell asleep. Did you know her own father is abusive and her mother is a druggy. Her mother says she doesn't get turned on anymore from her father so she goes and gets high every night until the sun comes up. Her father complains about this and rapes her until she bleeds all over her floor. She is the quiet one that thinks and dreams about her own death. You don't know whats going on in her home, you wouldn't unless you REALLY know her. She knows her family wouldn't care but she cares enough to stay. You can save a life, don't bully
Just something random
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
She got told a girl hated her
She was told just to **** herself
She was growing into a depressed teenager
She was a ticking clock
She was near her limit
She went tic-toc tic-toc
Until one day she ran a knife down her arm
and bled to death on her schools' floor
Dying slowly was her only way to go
She knew it was the only way to die
Again not about me
Alyssa Gregory Nov 2017
When we were young we fell in love. So obviously we started dating HE was my mate, so when HE became alpha of the pack, I was happy; HE was alpha and I was beta. One day another beta came to town and HE "fell in love" but I got out I found my REAL pack and I was ALPHA and then a new mate came and loved me well then HE came back and tried to **** him and me. Well, HE's dead so HE got the short end of the stick
idk tbh
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
You saw him...
You liked him...
You wanted him...
You needed him...
You asked him...
You got him...
He broke you...
He wanted you back...
He got you again...
You married him...
Had kids with him...
You despies him...
You hate him...
You **** him...
idk how to feel bout this one
Alyssa Gregory May 2019
She took the boy in the bubble; who wanted to be a good boyfriend. The girl took the only source of happiness she had. He helped her from her molestation to the old scars on her wrists. The girl gets questions about why he would leave her if she was what he wanted; she replies with 'he wants me, he just could not go without ***' he begged her for their relationship to be the same. She returns to being cold and heartless to everybody. She looks at herself in the mirror and notices her stretch marks, her flabby stomach, her fat thighs, and more. He told her she was beautiful, gorgeous, and other sweet nothings. She misses him and he only thought of her after he broke her. That's the thing with high school relationships; they never work out unless you are a ***** that sleeps with any guy she sees. From the time the girl in the bubble met the boy; there was a spark. The spark was large, from the time they met, they always could talk about anything and everything. It was a beautiful love story until it became tragic and full of lies. She knew there would at least something that would happen even if it was heartbreak. But that's how the story goes on.
Alyssa Gregory Nov 2017
Roses are red,
I like fruit
HONEY, WHERE'S MY SUPER SUIT
XXD
Alyssa Gregory Feb 2020
I am Home. The smell of baked goods and candles. The laughter around a bonfire and large family get-togethers. Drama lingers from past heartbreak and trouble. Dead silent in the dawn, and slowly gets louder until the next dusk. Light. The light of people and pets.

I am Trauma. The sting of pain and worthlessness. The thought of maybe it’s not worth it anymore. The abuse. The pain. The lingering sting of tears, hands on my throat, fingers digging into skin. The ****** abuse just gave inspiration to grow from.

I am Love. I fall in love quickly and deeply. The love I got from my mother, my grandparents, and friends. This showed me how to fall in love from nothingness to every single thing about a person. Love must not be perished or put out. Love teaches me how to grow every day.

I am knowledgeable. I am the books upon the dresser of my room. I learn from others and myself. I show others how to learn to become strong. I’ve learned not to drown myself in guilt from books upon books of other people's troubles. I may be knowledgeable but I’m not the epitome of knowledge.

I am the Sun. Everyone around me is like a planet in my solar system. Nobody can be the sun except myself. If I were to burn out, I would hurt others and end the solar system. Therefore, I am the sun of my own solar system.
         I am Pain. I am Suffering. I am Happy. I am Young. I am Wild. I AM MYSELF. I AM A SURVIVOR.
wrote this for english
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
When you write you use paper and pen...but when I write I use a knife and my flesh. You're a author so am I but my paper is my flesh and my body is my book. My words are little white lines wrote on my flesh as yours are real words on a peice of paper. When my day gets horrible I go into the bathroom and cut...cut....cut my pain away.
Not about me again...
Alyssa Gregory Jan 2018
You think in innocent with my big baby blue eyes that don't fill with lust when you're in a room...
You don't look at my scars on my ***** to see I have stretch marks due to gaining weight...
you think I'm innocent because I'm not all up on you or giving out...
That would mean I'm innocent... but what you don't know I have ****** ****, wanted to **** the life out of my ex-boyfriend and I most certainly had my eyes glaze over with lust as they are the person's bones I want to jump.
uhhh idk
Alyssa Gregory Sep 2018
I would like to just say if you are thinking suicidal thoughts I am here to listen or call 1-800-273-8255. I am here to show things that goes on inside my mind. I hope to inspire people to live and learn. No matter what don't give up your fight. Be a fighter and live on, if you think that you want to die please reach out to someone or talk to an adult or SOMEONE who will help, I would love to hear feedback if anyone wants to talk :) As for myself I hide things and silently die inside but I am here to live for others and to find happiness. I may have already who knows but I want to show you that at least someone cares. Don't give up on school, work, love, friends, etc. because you never know what will help you. For me, I love to write so I don't implode.
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
Red as the blood gushing from her wrist.
Purple from the bruises on her body as the beating
Green is her eyes yet she doesn't want to see
Yellow is her body from the **** her father impacted her
Red,purple,green,yellow
She wishes that she had a normal life
Red,purple,green,yellow
Her body aches for love, as when her father whispers "I love you babe" she cries
Red,purple,green,yellow
Her mother calls her fat and ugly while she beats her
Red,purple,green,yellow
She slits her wrists while she cries
Red,purple,green,yellow
Shes now dead as she was hanging by a thread
~A.E.G.
Tbh something I made up in art randomly
Alyssa Gregory Sep 2018
He loves her... She loves him
What if her family finds out they had ***...
Her dad screams, her mom dies inside...
His aunt cries...
She and he get torn apart...
But what if he completes her?
parents will be parents but what if it's not just parents it friends too?
they will forever be apart til death do they come together...
Just some insight on what's happening inside my brain and in my life :(
Alyssa Gregory Jan 2018
When she looks out on her life she crys about her choices...
What if she never gave a ******* to the player...
What if she never sent nudes to the good churchy boy...
What if she never watched **** ever?
What if she never was born?
She looks out into the night pondering her choices in life... She would never have thought her life would be so professional to not choose those ****** choices. She looks at her friends while they are innocent she knows she does not want to taint their souls or look out on life so she hides her pain and talks about her ****** up family and becomes more and more depressed...
this one is from the soul sometimes I think like this
Alyssa Gregory May 2018
He can't handle not being there for her.
She knows he can't always be there to save her from her demons.
He thinks he is her one and only but in reality, he isn't the only one wanting her.
She knows she needs to choose but she can't one is sweet and is her best friend and the other is her boyfriend and everyone knows that they like each other but people ask if they are friends with benefits. She knows if she breaks her boyfriend then her best friend will be scared that she will break him.  She wants to choose her boyfriend but her best friend is a sweet temptation. Her boyfriend acts like he wants her but never actually spends time with her.
Who should she choose?
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
Some people believe that breathing is not a choice but in reality it's your choice to stay or go. Cuts run along her arms she blames a cat every time she cries herself to sleep from the **** of her father or the beating from her mother. Her school torments her over and over again until at last, she tries to use a moose and she takes her last breath and slam goes the chair... so sad world another mistake of others. Society is killing beaten a bruised people, just to make people raise themselves up until BAM another life is taken...
~A.E.G
Tbh this was something that was on the top of my head, so it's not about someone
Alyssa Gregory Sep 2019
She wishes she had the guts to tell him... The love she has for him is strong. He is being cheated on by her "friend" people know. She does not want to tell him and him think she just wants to cause drama. The thing that made her cry herself to sleep multiple nights, the reason she had panic attacks in the school bathroom, the reason she used to smile so brightly and it was not fake. He left her claiming he was not ready and ended up with someone she was very close with at a point in time. She wishes he could realize he broke her. He told her he would die without her and then he tried. He said it was a lie but she could see behind his white lie. It broke her very much when she found out her "friend" was cheating on him. She kept the teddy bear he gave her for memories. She cried into it when he left and it makes her cry to see it. And it breaks her when she realized he is not ever going to come back.


The teddy bear was burned, the lies stayed, the thoughts made her realize shes better off alone.
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
Well,  it feels like your drowning in millions of gallons of water; with concrete buckets chained to you until your drowned out of yourself.
Depression and anxiety attack at different periods sometimes they join up together... Til you become the ultimate victim to them going till your dead... The doctor said, take some pills it will go away but, does it really??? Every pill you pop your coming closer and closer to overdosing on your depression.
Not about me but oh whale
Alyssa Gregory Oct 2017
What happens on Halloween night stays a secret...
What if you get ***** by your boyfriend?
What if you get beaten by your husband?
What if you see a ******?
What if someone watches you change?
What if?
What IF?
WHAT if?
WHAT IF?
Well, nobody tells their ***** little creepy secrets...
**
Alyssa Gregory Nov 2017
When thinking of fears or phobias you might think...drowning...the dark...driving...etc. But, some peoples phobias are different; as they are fearing true love or medications. As mine is oblivion, the meaning is I want to carry a legacy as nobody really knows the REAL definition. Some people want money, fame, girls/boys, the world as for me... I just want somebody to know my name, or to hear my stories or as to love me for me. Well, the truth about this is anyone can reach oblivion so why is it my phobia? Well, I know I'm nothing to be dwelled on or cried on. Well, maybe someone will but, will my friends stay with me until the end? WHO KNOWS but I want to be known as someone who helped others to be known; then to be known myself. So I guess I don't want to be known or to be seen but one thing I do want is TRUE LOVE. So, whats your fear? Well, mine is oblivion as for I don't want to be known. Do you want to be above oblivion? Because I don't it's selfish and so known.
So...IDK bout this one so comment if ya like it.  <3 ;)

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