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mk Jun 2018
i wonder if my name dances round and round in your head like a mantra
i wonder if it pops up in the middle of conversations, if you hear the syllables like a call to prayer
i wonder if it makes you wish you were dead
no; i wonder if it makes you wish i were dead
i wonder if you wake up in the morning and for a quick second you can't remember why you hurt
then loud and clear it shrills, ringing in your head, a reminder of your destruction
i wonder if they ask you why you look so burnt
i wonder if my name whispers itself into your ear but you stay silent
i wonder if it laughs when they tell you that love is the answer
i wonder if it cries when they tell you that love is the devil
do you stand straight like a soldier being called on to the battlefield
when you hear something that rhymes with it
or do you crawl into a hole within yourself and let the moment pass?
does it lull you to sleep late at night when the demons play
does it scream in your head when you're somewhere between life and death?
do you remember my name, my love? do you remember it soft, loud, and alive? do you remember my name, my love, do you remember it well? do you remember my name, my love, because it remembers you. do you remember my name, my love, because it has not forgotten you.
the end of an era, the start of the summer
  Jun 2018 mk
Semicolon
Hey mom-dad, listen.
Hit me, hate me, throw me out,
But don't shut me up.
My dear mom, my dear dad,
Please listen to me talk.
You're the place where I can unveil myself and be true to who I am.
You're the place where I can pour my heart out and expect to be heard.
You're the place I want to spend my life talking and being heard.
Please don't tell me to shut up
Because I talk too much,
Because no one likes what I speak,
Because I talk *******,
Because no one would listen to me,
Because I need to stay silent sometimes,
Because nobody likes the stories I have to tell,
Please don't tell me to shut up,
Just because that's what I need to do.
Listen to me.
Please.
mk Jun 2018
.
give me a first time once again
give me a first shot at love again
give me a first before i relive my last
give me a present instead of giving me a past
.
طلع البدر علينا
mk Jun 2018
my best friend has a boyfriend
and i want to scream
the love inside me is bubbling
it is rage on a californian summer day
my best friend has a boyfriend
and i want to scream
she is holding his hand
and he is touching her cheeks
he is tall and fair and quiet
he is what you were not
he is not you
but my best friend has a boyfriend
and i want to scream
i want to tell her to run from love
because it ends up in pain
i want her to teach me how to
fall in love again
i want her to tell me
how it felt when they first kissed
i want to know if it felt as mystical
as magical
as terrifying as us
my best friend has a boyfriend
and i want to scream
because everytime i see them
i think of you and me
dark and so much taller than me
speaking in tongues all native to me
silences that spoke more than words
my best friend has a boyfriend
and i want to scream
they have gotten what i have not
they are living what i will not
the death of us is the beginning of them
my best friend has a boyfriend
and i want to scream
this life is beautiful
but without you, thats hard to see.
mk May 2018
waking up this morning
to inhale and realize
you haven't tasted air this fresh
in so long
your starved lungs gasp
and they expand
in relief and worship
your skin feels the sun rays
and you realize that the
trees have grown so tall
they are tapping at your windows
and the sunrays
are playing hide and seek
in between
waking up this morning
to realize that the sky
is a new shade of blue
with some yellow, some purple
a whole lot of orange
wondering why people wait on rainbows
when skies like these exist
there is a freshness in the air
there is a jump in my step
has that engraved pathway always been so beautiful
have those flowers always been so bright?
i notice the freckles on my roommates cheeks
i notice how red and grand the hair of the girl in my anthropology class shines
i notice that my glasses are such a lovely shape
and my eyes look so big and brown and light and deep
my curls are so warm to me, they treat me so well
and the color orange kisses my golden skin
waking up this morning
to inhale and realize
today is a beautiful day;
this is a beautiful life
and i am doing better than just okay.
~ spring vibes ~

wake up & realize i missed a few seasons in sadness
mk May 2018
~

several skies
and a million moons away
twinkling eyes
wishing you would stay

there is no glamor in sadness
there is no mercy in pain
there is no kindness in loneliness
there is no pride in shame

there are silver tears
there are sugar-coated fears
there is great magic in the worlds
we create for ourselves

~
this is a mood
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