Blind Aesthetic

Blind Aesthetic Apr 2015

10 words

My memory lane is paved with memories I'd rather forget

#memories #past

Blind Aesthetic Apr 2015

Untitled

Untie the knot in my throat
So that I can try to speak
Let the air flow to my lungs
So that I can remember to breathe
If I look away in disgust
It’s from the tears that want to run
Don’t mind my smile
It’s the only wall I have

a response to a panel about domestic violence

#self #sadness #violence #domestic

Blind Aesthetic Apr 2015

Self Portrait

If I drew myself
If I drew a self-portrait
I’d use watercolor pencils
They’re easier to work with
And it’s just as easy to blend
They give more defined lines
A great choice I would think
I’d begin with an outline
Drawn in a mistaken
Grey or oops blue
Working my way bottom to
Top and right to left to maximize the unwanted
Smudges that will later become the mistakes which weren’t my own
I would move onto my face. Switching to a false green color to start on
My eyes. Coloring the right iris, heavy handed the tip breaks. I sharpen it
Color in more as it goes from fake green to saddened black I stab through
The canvas bringing in some light from behind. Moving onto the left now
I go from green to useless brown. I’d dip the tip in water and just let the
Pencil sit, stuck to the canvas the color drips down the cheek pooling at
The jawline before stopping as if not wanting to let go. Snap goes the lead
Throwing away the pencil so it doesn’t bleed onto the other colors I move
Onto the lips this time. I’d go with pale promise to compliment the right eye
I would add hints of passive anger red and narcissism orange as highlights
For the skin I’d color it in disappointment, several shades, to show definition
I would then take a brush and dip it in water. I’d blend all the colors so it looks
Natural. Blending disappointment with anger, narcissism with uselessness
Fake with disappointment and the mistakes with everything that they touch
Once the painting dries I’d look onto the creation with the same look that a
Famous painter would give their child when they're told their painting *****
I would reluctantly sign my name, take a step back, and crumble the painting
Into a ball and throw it away saying to myself “I know you can do better”

#self #depression #hate #sadness #portrait #disappointment

Blind Aesthetic Mar 2015

Story

Waiting for the day that all this pain will go away
Drifting through the nights
As the moonlight keeps my demons at bay
I wear bags under my eyes
Never knowing where I’m going to go
Always following the stars
Keeping an eye out
For where the greener grass will grow
There will never be a fork in my path
Because my path isn’t clear to me
I may not know where I’m going
But I know where I’m going to be
I’ve seen myself atop of mountains
Made of bodies and of gold
I’ve seen myself blinded but it’s up to me
To see what the truth will hold
It doesn’t matter how I live my life
Be it by pen or by the gun
All that matters is that I live a story worth telling
By the time my life is done
Whether it’s through stories
Told by memory or those written in print
My legacy will live on forever
It will be infinite.

#life #future #story

Blind Aesthetic Mar 2015

Stream Of Consciousness

It has been many moons since these translucent eyes set forth the bellowing cries of a whispered hymn. The cries of those long since forgotten, briefly heard, myopic, blind to the background sound of our nestled unruly world. The white noise that paints the landscape continually resetting itself in a desperate attempt to regain its foothold in our lives. It is this fight for free reign that forever brings me here. Brings me to each infinitesimal moment in life where we as the white noise fight for dominance over our subconscious realm.

Leery of what we experience with our senses and what we experience with the extensions of. Touching everything with our nothing making sure that the existence that we live is not just a state of mind but an actuality. We are self-altruistic, in this i am sure, for we care about the well being of ourselves. No state of mind left behind this is our status quo. Let it be that no mirror binds you to your own failures nor to those that look onto from a distance. Let you be your own shadow let your own shadow not be a former representation of what is but what's to come. Let your shadow be effectively that of which you strive. Let the shovels of ill will be fated to bury themselves hand in hand with those that foster it. Stand firm in your position overcome only by the mountains of your own design.

These peaks scream out echoes of your hate and shame not for you, nay. Not for I, nay. but for those that challenge what you stand for because the earth beneath our feet stands for everyone. stands stained with bloodied tears that rained down from our glorified manufactured heaven. This epoch marks the second coming of our custom, individualized, patent-pending, rights reserved, copyrighted Christ; our self-proclaimed god. self-proclaimed because we are the gods we seek, we ignore, and we pray for. the effervescent pool of life reads no running so we segue our way on this Segway to take advantage of the loopholes we ourselves placed as if only to cheat our fabricated reality because rebellion is refreshing and different but only when no one else is looking.

#life #thoughts #existence #stream #consciousness

Blind Aesthetic Mar 2015

Questions

If happiness is key
Then what of the door?
A room with no exit
Just walls and a floor

It unlocks many things
Let life give you wings

If life is a blessing
Then why do I hurt?
A life not worth living
It’s but an insult

Cherish all that you feel
With time all will heal

You question your own life
Ignore the given
Play the fool and the child
Even the deaf listen

If time is a constant
Then why’d nights stand still?
Air hangs without motion
Breathe breaths that don’t fill

You’ll find peace in the dark
Listen to your heart

If hearts do have rhythm
Then why’s there no beat?
With eyes frozen open
I am dead asleep

*You questioned your own life
Ignored the given
Played the fool and the child
Even the deaf listen

#love #life #sadness #death #happiness #questions #desperation #key

Blind Aesthetic Feb 2015

We

We lay parallel to each other
never touching,
never seeing,
never living with one another
but still lay within a close enough proximity
that a false sense of togetherness
and companionship is formed.
These bonds that are created
form the safety net
that we all come to know
though we unknowingly ignore it
and often substitute it for a harness
that is anchored to the very thing
it's supposed to protect.
Woe is us,
let us watch the waves break
on the shores of the future that we built
washing away what we let it
and rebuilding what we feel is worth keeping.

#self #life #future #relationships #past #people