We knew him well
his jest
most excellent
alas, not infinite

Where be your gibes now?
Your gambols? Your songs?
Your flashes of merriment,
that were wont
to set the table on a roar? (Hamlet, V.i)

We laughed,
we cried
amused and touched

Borne on your back,
anguish unspoken

Poor Yorick.

r ~ 8/12/14

I never meant to fall in love with you,
I would take it back if I could.
What I would give to feel nothing,
When I look into your sweet brown eyes.
To stop my heart from speeding up
When you walk into the room
To keep myself from staring
As you sleep, so close to me

We're just friends, I know
But I want to be so much more
I wish I could be all you need
But I can't even figure out what you want.
You're one of my best friends, and I love you
I wouldn't dare ruin that with my feelings
But, after over a year, you deserve to know
I'm just afraid of what you might say

God help me I have an obsession
Now is not the time
Help me clear it from my brain
No wait -
The infection has spread
... God save the queen
She's captured my heart
She's back for my soul
God save the queen
Eternally lost, I can't stand
Hold me -
I think I'm dead
Devil in her eyes
My bloodbourne fervency
Can I contain this madness?
Oh God, save the Queen...
Ineffective quarantine
cells gone, you're all that remains
Unwavering Loyalty
To you
God help us all,
Save the Queen
Mistress, my Lady
You make me weak in the knees, nervous
Baby, princess, Kitten
I am ******
The wicked witch of the sheets
She's my duchess and my priestess
Queen of my bed
Off with her head

- recognition of an addiction/obsession is the first step to recovery

Round of twin *******,
Circle thighs, hips, moon bottoms,
The round of my palms.

I should leave here
but there's a hole needs burying

- a mountain of memories
and a thousand miles of pain -
it still smells like you
even after it rains

At the table by the window
where you used to read -
there's a whiskey bottle
that I'm trying to put away

There - is a hole that needs burying
one of these days.

r ~ 9/1/14

Two decades in and already swamped with memories
And only the desire to make new ones.
Walking to class or coming home
People ask me what I want to do,
What do I want to do with the rest of my life?

I can feel my throat constrict and my heart skid,
Don’t they understand how much of a commitment that is?
The rest of my life.

And what if it’s not something I want to do, but something I want to be?

I’m 20 years old and don’t ever have my head in this atmosphere,
So how can I ever hope to decide the rest of my life?

I want to write with the raindrops that kiss the grass
Or sleep on the waves of the ocean
And hold the stars in my hands.
I want to climb the highest tree or the highest mountain
Just so I can jump and call it flying.
I want to read the faces of others
And put them into stories.
But mostly I want to run,
Not literally,
But running still.
I want to catch time as it passes by
And go to all the places in the pictures
Enjoying adventure upon adventure
Until the end of my days,
Surrounded by the select few that I love.

I want to be nothing short of me,
And who I am isn’t a constant that can be applied to a formula,
It’s constantly changing, growing, fighting, loving.
How dare you ask me to define what I want to be,
When it’s plain that I don’t even know who I am?

I’m 20 years old and what I want to do for the rest of my life
Is nothing sort of a mystery, an adventure,
Like a storyline leading to an epic plot twist,
But it’s wrapped in uncertainty
And the only way to find out where it’s going
Is to keep reading the book.