I'd rather walk
a city street;
where, at least,
the people passing do not
know my name,
much more than
I would enjoy
walking into
my local grocery store:
where I am
too visible.

But, darling, no one is understanding this.
My abilities are flowers and you're picking off all the petals
before I even have time to grow more.
My brain is a garden that I can only water when I'm alone,
so please understand that I will wilt and dry out when exposed
to too much social interaction for too long of a time.
I need time to recuperate, to grow, to freshen up.
Because a flower is no fun when it's wilted, and all the petals are gone.


(d.d.b)

The tag hanging on my big toe
That's the only way you'll ever know my name
Turning blue along the edges
Sick sick sick
I'm sick in a way you don't understand
Only once I'm forever asleep
Will I let you hold my hand
I'm just afraid to poison you with all the pain I have inside
You don't deserve what I have
But I deserve to die
So I'll meet you in the morgue once the night is over
Red bracelets around my wrist
But my heart full of yearning wanting you closer
I'll give the coroner a special order
To give my bleeding heart to you
Forever yours
Can't breathe anymore
My last breath was saturated with the taste of you
The tag hanging on my toe
That's the only way you'll ever know
Who I am
Without you

Staked
to slate
by ache
and fatigue,
unmoved am i
not a breath
drawn nor exhaled
as the blistering sun
traverses
a merciless sky
like a snail.
I close my eyes
and feel the pulse
i've become,
baked, a beating
continuum.

i want to find someone
who craves to know the
deepest parts of me.
someone who will be gentle with me
and listens
really listens
without judgement.
someone
who understands what i have been through
and will inspire me
but not try to change me.
someone who realizes that they cannot complete me
someone who will calm my soul
when it is raging
who understands my thoughts.
i want someone to pray to God with me
and to keep me.
someone who finds galaxies in my eyes
and loves me for who i am
because i deserve nothing less.

Yes, it is difficult
Let the challenge build you
Continue to climb that ladder
Keep pushing on through
Never give up
Take advantage of opportunity
Think positive thoughts
You will eventually reach your victory