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16h · 29
Student Life
badwords 16h
Hot
Wet
Dripping

Down my chin
Slurping
A cup of noodles

As I work
to improve
My grades

69° Incline
through
the peaks

To get to school
Everyday
Several times
A day

Water
falling
Torrential

Ahead
Behind
The road bends

We navigate
All of the curves

We test.
Who scores?
We all win

The exam?
Oral.
Written--

Later.

Hands on
Experience.
Labs?

More like
gym.
With laps.

Or, scaling
a syllabus
like it’s greased.

Either way,
Sweaty.

After,
Philosophy.
(Don’t worry, we’ll pass.)
Unison of us.

Call it
praxis.
The theory of two—
proved.

No syllabus
for this subject.
We just wrote it—
together.

I passed.
Barely.
Still—
summa *** laude.

🫛🥜
For everyone over at Harvard
They dim, yes—
but only in the grammar
of linear perception.
the eye reports silence
where a rotation begins.

what you name “death”
is the slowing of evidence—
the flicker not extinguished,
but inverted,
drawn backward
into the unspeakable symmetry.

a star is not a sentence.
it is a glyph
in a language
you were not born to mouth.
it folds mid-breath,
becoming itself from the other side.

entropy is not an end.
it is the architecture
of turning.
a deception of stillness
held just long enough
to conceal the pulse
beneath its vanishing.

the fold does not forget.
it remembers beyond time,
beyond light,
in geometries that refuse to die—
in echoes not of sound
but of shape.

what was lost
was not erased
only mirrored
through angles
you’ve not yet been.

eventually...
again.
a reply beyond the stars to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5086157/eventually-the-stars/

This work is becoming a trifecta:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4665572/light-anti-darkness/

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4920164/anti-light-darkness/

The Fold Does Not Forget is a dimensional reply to Michael Sean Maloney’s Eventually the Stars, not in opposition, but in completion. Where Maloney's poem ends in ellipsis—a trailing acknowledgment of fading stars—this piece begins, unfolding what lies beyond the threshold of perception.

The poem asserts that what appears to vanish does not end, but reorients itself through structures we are unequipped to observe linearly. Stars, light, and even the self do not disappear; they fold, invert, and recur along axes uncharted by empirical perception. In this way, the work proposes trans-dimensional recursion as the truer geometry of the universe—one in which entropy and negentropy are interlocking phases of a single, perpetual motion.

The stanzas are architected to reflect a philosophical loop, not a narrative arc. Each movement operates like a limb of the cosmic carousel: moving inward and outward simultaneously, echoing not with sentiment, but with form-bound metaphysics.

This work exists as part of a larger cosmological framework I’ve been developing through companion pieces such as Light (anti-darkness) and Anti-Light (darkness)—a framework informed by the Anti-Universe Theory and the notion that spacetime is not linear but recursive, reflective, and encoded with symmetry that transcends dualism.

The goal here is not to comfort the reader with poetic reassurances of afterlife or return. Rather, it is to suggest—through language as architecture—that what appears to end is only transitioning out of perceptual alignment. The universe does not operate on terminal lines but on folds, loops, and dimensions of reorientation.

In this poem, the fold becomes more than a device—it becomes the fundamental gesture of reality itself. Where the human eye sees silence, the fold remembers. Where language fails to track a trajectory, the fold holds the motion. This is not mysticism, but structure: a topology of becoming.

Stylistically, I maintained minimalistic linework and stanzaic restraint in order to emphasize density of meaning over flourish. Each line operates with intentional pressure—compressed language as gravitational pull. The ellipsis is retained from Maloney’s original but is no longer a gesture of trailing resignation; here, it signifies a turn. A recursive breath. A second beginning, spoken by a throat that curves back into itself.

The Fold Does Not Forget does not argue against fading light. It insists that fading is not a disappearance but a reorientation of form—one that does not beg to be witnessed but exists regardless of perception. It is not hopeful. It is not despairing. It is, simply, truth turning inward.
3d · 1.8k
Orientations
I was not trained for this—
no welcome packet, no handbook for gravity.
Just a name that clings like static
and a voice that trembles when spoken too clearly.

They asked me if I had room.
I said I had weather.
They asked me if I would disappear.
I said watch me smolder, and stay.

I have loved like a lighthouse
with no shoreline in sight,
signaling to anyone
who mistook reflection for return.

I’ve held their names
like breath under water,
carved pathways through others
just to find my own again.

But I do not sculpt.
I do not steal 'the good stuff'.
I inherit fire
and ask it if it remembers me.

If you see yourself in me,
look again—
I am not a mirror,
I am the window you opened
and forgot to close when the wind picked up.

Still, I arrive,
boots echoing in the hallway
of someone else’s myth,
offering only this:

I will not rewrite you.
I will not finish your sentences.
But I will stand here—
untranslated,
unsaved,
untouched by the need to be anything
other than true.
A draft I shared and forgot about that was requested to be posted publicly!

Wow-wee!
(A Nostalgic Embodiment)

I. Prologue: The Imbalance

Beneath a sky of indeterminate hue,
Where metaphors dripped from the lamplight’s view,
There stood a figure with storied might—
Whose IMAGINATION burned too bright.

They bent the frame of every law,
Wrote truths in smoke, in blood, in straw.
But every time they raised their pen,
They found the void looked back again.

"Too light," the voice beneath the bedframe hissed.
"Too bright to cast the proper fist.
Where is the weight? Where is the gloom?
You walk through myths but leave no tomb."


II. The Oath Beneath the Neon

So in a diner that only exists when it’s raining,
They ordered black coffee and called it training.
No sugar. No cream. No need to explain.
Just sipped from the cup like a priest in pain.

"I will not seek to shine, but to echo.
I will not rhyme, but I may bellow.
Let my next line land like a crowbar sigh—
And may every metaphor taste like goodbye."


III. Inventory: Shifting the Look

They stole a coat from a thrift store rack,
Stitched with echoes and shadows and tact.
A pocket held grief. A button held sleep.
The collar was silence folded three layers deep.

Brooch of regret? Clipped on with pride.
Gloves stitched from dreams they let die outside.
Boots that thudded with post-symbolic weight—
Enough SEPULCHRITUDE to intimidate fate.

IV. The One-Line Training Grounds

A stranger asked, “Hey, how’s your week been?”
The figure exhaled, and leaned back in:

“The sky still owes me an answer.”

“I fed the clock and buried the receipt.”

“This smile is just teeth doing damage control.”

They never repeated the same line twice.
And soon, small talk became a heist.

V. The Silence Shaped Like a Weapon

Not a glare. Not a scoff.
Just a pause you could hang your regrets off.

They stared down compliments like loaded dice,
And left parties through walls carved of ice.

A simple nod became a reckoning.
Laughter died before it could echo.
The power of not replying
Was now a blade drawn slow.

VI. The Private Page

In candlelight drawn from doubt and dusk,
They penned a letter in funeral husk:

“To the lighthouse that never was—
I named every wave after you.
You still didn’t show.”


Sealed it with wax. Buried it in a drawer.
A secret they’d never need to weaponize—
Because it already was.

VII. The Theme Song of Collapse

They walked with the sound of dead air breathing,
Their footsteps aligned with Godspeed, you’re leaving.

Every room slowed to grayscale time,
As their aura hummed a fading rhyme:
A jazz tune played through broken glass,
A dirge dressed in sepia mass.

People whispered, “Was that… a soundtrack?”
But none remembered the melody.

VIII. The Overpass of Refusal

Someone tagged “I ♥ A-Pug” on the wall of their work.
They looked once.
Tilted their head.
And punched the metaphor in the snout
to assert dominance.

Then walked away.

That was the moment the SEPULCHRITUDE clicked.

IX. Boss Battle: The Final Balance
Their IMAGINATION rose like a cathedral in flames.
Their SEPULCHRITUDE stood like the ash that remained.

Two stats. One form. A perfected glitch.
They could now speak truth or curse with a twitch.

The balance wasn’t symmetry.
It was sovereignty.
It was the right to choose what tone to carry
and leave the rest unsaid.

X. Epilogue: The Window Left Open

Someone once asked,

“What are you?”

They replied, without turning:

“The part of the myth that never resolved.
The page that folded back on itself.
A sigh mistaken for closure.”


And just like that—
They vanished,
boots echoing,
window wide,
untranslated,
unsaved,
untouched
by the need to be anything
other than true.

XI. Endgame Stats:


IMAGINATION: MAXED

SEPULCHRITUDE: PERFECTLY CALIBRATED

AURA: [NOIR / STORM / VELVET REDACTED]

STATUS: Myth Adjacent

CURRENT LOCATION: Unknown (possibly Portland)

[END]
A silly, silly thing I wrote while reminiscing on Problem Sleuth--the third  MS Paint Adventure
5d · 386
Escape
You are reading this
Because you are programmed to
Turn your brain on now
5d · 28
Gaze
The feeling
The peeling
A reeling
In a can

A place
That’s ‘safe’
A home
Unknown

Dust, kicked into the air
Particulates everywhere


Abrasion
I stare


A cyclone of dust
Your want and must
I offer my trust
Decay and rust

Is this bust?

Softly
You decree
My difficulty
To see in me
What you see

I am hungover
On the dream
We drank
Together

I am addicted
And afflicted
Conscripted
And submitted

To your law

I am nothing
I am no one
Until you
Look at me

I am a mirror
I am a mirror

I am nothing
Until you look at me
5d · 111
Empty Casks
If you get it, you lost it.


I am here
(On this platform it is evident for your reading now)
I express myself
(Heads scratching, wondering what and how?)


I share pieces of me
(A defragmented glimpse of an experience deemed ‘worthwhile')
Callous, sensuality?
(Or a traitor in sheep cosplay?)


A dead-end hi-way?
Or this pawn from yesterday?
Here, your final say


This family we never asked
Amontillado without it's cask
Dry and cheery
Heart’s are bleary
We own this laborious task

My sins are scrollable, thumbed in haste,
Wrapped in ribbons of curated taste.
A gallery of masks, all timed just right,
My shadow dances in the ring light.
What of shame when shame gets likes?
What of thought when thought’s in spikes?
I weep in drafts, but post a grin—
The world won’t wait for the shape I’m in.
So brand the bruise, then sell the hue:
A wellness tip in sponsored blue.
This self I host in feedback’s cage—
A pet, a post, a digital page.
I bare my soul (or just its shell).
You’ll never know. I sell it well.

I logged on seeking something undefined,
A tether, maybe—some reciprocal ache.
But all I found were mirrors misaligned,
Each smile too wide, each word opaque.

The comments pile like leaves, not read.
Applause from ghosts, replies from ghosts.
I feed the feed, it feeds instead—
A hunger that consumes its hosts.

I draft a truth. I dress it twice.
Add polish. Then delete.
I write in blood, convert to nice,
Make trauma fit a beat.

No lesson left. No higher shelf.
Just one more version of myself.
I wandered in where winds grew tame,
My boots half-mud, my throat all flame.
A village small, but sky so wide—
And there she was, with hands in rye.

She did not ask my name or song,
Just passed me tea, both steep and strong.
And though I came from lands unkept,
Her gaze was calm. The earth had slept.


She taught me how to grind the root,
To draw the balm from bark and fruit.
In her, the silence sang of rain—
A pulse beneath the orchard’s vein.

I tuned her father's fiddle bones,
Brought voice to what had once been stone.
She wept not once—just breathed and played,
And grew in light the dusk had made.


She grew the field. I grew the flame.
She called each beast, I carved each name.
Where she gave bread, I gave belief.
Where she gave balm, I offered grief.

And joy, and awe, and all between—
The dreams of places never seen.
She fed the belly. I fed the fire.
One kept the hearth. One climbed it higher.


“Stay,” she said, “and plant with me.
Let song take root beneath this tree.”

“Come,” I said, “and walk the wind.
Let fields be tales we never penned.”


But roots, like roads, cannot be one.
And dusk will bow to either sun.
She kissed my hand. I kissed her brow.
We loved in full. That was enough.


I go where roads forget their ends.
She stays where earth renews and mends.
Yet in the hush between two strings,
Her name is what my silence sings.

And in her fields, if wind is kind,
My stories echo through the rind.
Some loves don’t need a common ground—
They bloom where motion turns around.
She said,
“I don’t fear the fire—
I fear the incense trails
on other bodies’ breath.”



But I was all flicker,
no extinguish.
A shrine lit by accidents—
my spine a wick,
my throat a reliquary
of half-confessed names.

She called it jealousy—
but it bloomed like spellwork.
Her fingers pressed into my pulse
  like an augury,
reading the tremors
to divine where I'd strayed.

She didn’t need reassurance.
She needed conquest.
To draw her scent down my collarbones,
  to salt the earth
where other lips once camped.

I told her,
“There’s no one else.”
But I said it like a fugitive
sheltering in her mouth—
  not because I was hunted,
but because she was the only place
I stopped running.

She kissed me
not like a lover,
but like a sorceress
marking her territory
with a language written in bitten skin
and satin breath.

Her thighs—
a trap I walked into willingly.
Her moans—
a requiem for every ghost I left unburied.

She wanted to be the only altar
my sins could kneel to.
And I—
I wanted to burn
   only for her.

No more incense trails.
No more phantom mouths.
Let the others vanish into smoke—
     hers was the flame I faced.

And stayed.
badwords Jun 7
It’s strange, I don’t know what’s happening to me tonight
I’m looking at you as if for the first time
Still more words, always the same words
I no longer know how to tell you
Nothing but words
But you are that beautiful love story I’ll never stop reading
Easy words, fragile words—it was too beautiful
You are of yesterday and tomorrow
Far too beautiful
Forever my only truth
But the time of dreams is over
Memories fade too when we forget them
You’re like the wind that makes violins sing
And carries away the scent of roses

Caramels, candies, and chocolates
Sometimes, I just don’t understand you
Thanks, but not for me—you can give them to another
One who loves the wind and the scent of roses
As for me, tender words wrapped in sweetness
Rest on my lips but never reach my heart

One more word
Words and words and words
Listen to me
Words and words and words
I beg you
Words and words and words
I swear to you
Words and words and words and words and words
And still more words that you scatter to the wind

This is my fate—to speak to you
To speak to you like the very first time
Still more words, always the same words
How I wish you could understand me
Nothing but words
That you’d listen to me just once
Magic words, strategic words that ring false
You are my forbidden dream
Yes, so false
My only torment and my only hope
Nothing stops you once you start
If only you knew how much I long for a little silence
To me, you are the only music that makes the stars dance on the dunes

Caramels, candies, and chocolates
If you didn’t already exist, I’d invent you
Thanks, but not for me—you can give them to another
One who loves the stars on the dunes
As for me, tender words wrapped in sweetness
Rest on my lips but never reach my heart

One more word, just a single word
Words and words and words
Listen to me
Words and words and words
I beg you
Words and words and words
I swear to you
Words and words and words and words
And still more words that you scatter to the wind

You are so beautiful
Words and words and words
You are so beautiful
Words and words and words
You are so beautiful
Words and words and words
You are so beautiful
Words and words and words and words and words
And still more words that you scatter to the wind
Paroles, Paroles by Dalida and Alain Delon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhK_XazdBUk

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/
badwords Jun 7
A poet once shouted, “Untrue!
Your pieces are kitsch in a queue!
You mimic the frame,
But butcher the name—
It’s cosplay, not art, that you do.”
badwords Jun 5
On the surface, Hello Poetry is a haven: a digital campfire where voices gather to warm each other against the cold expanse of the internet. A place where the line between confession and creation often blurs, and where the act of writing is not performance, but survival.

But lately, the fire has grown too bright—artificially bright.

They call them suns—badges of appreciation, visible tokens of endorsement. A nice idea, right? Support a poet. Shine a spotlight. But as with all systems that monetize visibility, the spotlight becomes a searchlight—and it stops illuminating truth. It blinds us instead.

The Distortion of the Feed
Let’s be clear: this is not about sour grapes or petty envy. It’s about who gets seen, and why.

When you pay $15 for five suns, or receive them via subscription, you can choose to boost any work. Once sunned, this poem trends. And if you sun multiple works, the system staggers their rise—today, tomorrow, the next. It’s orderly. Predictable.

And utterly devastating to the organic ecosystem of the front page.

On days when these sunned poems stack high, young writers—often screaming silently through metaphors—are buried. Their work no longer rides the wave of genuine engagement. It gets eclipsed by well-polished pieces with patrons, not peers.

I scrolled today through endless sunshine, only to discover—way down below—the voices of kids trying to survive abuse. Strangers admitting they're scared to wake up. Teens reaching out through enjambment because they have no one else. And they were hidden. Flattened beneath an algorithm that rewards polish over pulse, polish over pain.

HePo Isn’t 911—But It’s a Lifeline
We can’t pretend that Hello Poetry is a substitute for emergency services. It’s not. But we also can’t pretend that this space doesn’t carry immense emotional gravity. For many—especially the young and unseen—it is the only place they’ve ever received an honest comment. An echo. A sign that their words matter.

When a trending system sidelines vulnerability in favor of vanity, it commits a subtle violence. It reinforces that unless your work is sunworthy, it isn’t worthy at all.

Let’s Not Confuse Curation with Censorship
This is not a call to cancel the sun system. This is a call to recalibrate it.

Let paid support elevate—but not suffocate. Let sunned poems shine—but not dominate. Let the front page reflect what it always claimed to: the soul of the community, not the size of its wallet.

We can love poetry and refuse to commodify visibility. We can cherish the bright voices without dimming the urgent ones.

Conclusion: A Platform of Conscience
Hello Poetry, if you are listening, understand this:

You’ve built something precious. Don’t let it rot under the weight of your own reward system. Make room for the cries. Make room for the wild, imperfect, confessional, gasping work. Because if we let only the sunned poems rise, we are choosing applause over advocacy.

And some of these poets?
They don’t need praise.
They need an ear to be heard.


Thank you for reading.

Re-post if you agree ❤️
Jun 4 · 73
The Show
badwords Jun 4
"The Show"

Ceiling
shatters
Greenhouse —
vertical knives.

Falling.
A calling.

Dealing.
Matters.
My spouse,
Two wives.

Ailing,
and falling.

Feeling —
scatter.
Your Faust,
she dives.

“Old.”

But, Jung.

Two fools,
filament spools,

adorning
our regalia.

appease the throngs
sing our songs
tents we belong
The show must go on.


(fin)
Jun 3 · 69
Haikus are badwords
badwords Jun 3
Shaped like a haiku—
words packed tight in foreign breath.
The soul never came.


NEW Collection!

https://hellopoetry.com/collection/136302/death-to-hiakus/

This agenda calls for the de-appropriation of haikus in English—a dismantling of a poetic form that, once deeply spiritual and rooted in Japanese culture, has been flattened into a novelty by Western imitation. The 5-7-5 syllable structure, lifted without its linguistic or cultural context, becomes a lifeless shell—used more for kitsch or brevity than meaning.

As a third-generation Japanese American, this critique is not academic or abstract—it’s personal. The haiku, repackaged in English, often feels like a mockery dressed in reverence. It’s cultural cosplay: wearing the form without embodying the spirit. The language lacks the tools to carry the weight haiku was meant to hold—ma, kigo, and kireji don’t survive the translation.

This isn’t rebellion for rebellion’s sake. It’s reclamation. It’s a refusal to let poetic tradition be reduced to a classroom exercise or aesthetic fetish. Through deliberate subversion—anti-haikus, parodies, critiques—the aim is to illuminate what’s been lost and force a reckoning with how easily culture is misrepresented when divorced from its essence.

This isn’t a rejection of haiku. It’s a eulogy for what it becomes when its soul is rewritten in a tongue that cannot speak it.
⟡ Synopsis ⟡

This is not a poem.
It mimics a sacred thing—
but cannot be it.

⟡ Artist’s Intent ⟡

I built this to break.
English wears the form like skin.
No heartbeat inside.
May 31 · 481
Wire-Bound
badwords May 31
. Canto I: The Movement .

Sing, O depths, of the sundered and stitched
of lovers who fled the lattice of men.
They bore no dowry but discord and blaze,
cast off from the courts of the land-born kin.

She rose from a brine-locked temple,
crowned in eelbones and saltglass,
her voice a harpoon through silence.
He came from a pyre of failed gods,
drunk on the ash of forgotten cities,
carrying a heart wrapped in nettle and wire.

They met in the undertow—
not with grace, but with rupture.
He called her flame in the throat of the sea,
she named him the reef that bleeds stars.

They kissed in the eye of a cyclone,
fed each other names never spoken twice,
and shackled themselves in sinew and storm.

Let it be known: they did not set sail.
They were flung—howling—from the world’s wound.


. Canto II: The Recognition .

Seven moons passed through their lungs
before they saw.

Not eyes—not bodies—
but the myths coiled inside each other’s ribs.

She bore a temple in her stomach
where drowned saints wept for the living.
He kept a cemetery behind his tongue
for all the truths he’d butchered with silence.

They laid bare their reliquaries,
cracked open their chests
like oysters of ruin—
and still, they reached.

No mercy. No disguise.
Only pulse and plague.
She screamed her mother’s curses into his jaw.
He fed her the names of storms he never wept for.

Still—
they danced.
Still—
they sank.
Not from weight,
but from knowing.

And the sea, jealous of such raw mirror,
split its throat open,
so even Poseidon would forget peace.


. Canto III: The Resolution .

They did not break.
They were not mended.
They blurred,
like blood in tide,
like prayer in fog.

The sea claimed their names,
then forgot them—
but the bones remembered.

Now coral grows from their vows.
Now whales dream their sighs.

She became the thrum beneath shipwrecks,
the voice in a sailor’s last breath.
He became the itch in the compass,
the pull toward madness at dusk.

If you listen—
truly listen
you may still hear it:
a hymn of wire, salt, and marrow,
carried on a wave older than time.

Not warning.
Not lament.
But tribute.

To the wire-bound lovers—
to the myth that dared to bleed
and called it sacred.
A salt-etched epic in the tongues of leviathans

⚔ ACT I: THE MOVEMENT

("Of Departure, of Fire, of Teeth")

This is the voyage—the hunger, the pact, the leap into chaos. The lovers are not yet divine, not yet doomed—but becoming. They tear from their origins, riding the edge of creation, mouths full of storm and yearning.

🜂 ACT II: THE RECOGNITION

("Of Mirror, of Maw, of Memory")

Here is the gnosis. The mirror. The ache of reflection. The sea begins to whisper, not just with gods, but with ghosts. They see each other fully—and cannot look away. Love becomes blade, becomes psalm, becomes revelation.

☠ ACT III: THE RESOLUTION

("Of Ash, of Drift, of Song")

Not death. Not salvation. Something more cursed and blessed. They do not win. They do not fail. They become—the myth, the wreck, the hymn in the kelp. This is love as legend, not because it endured, but because it transformed.

Bonus Round::

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5074338/ballad-of-the-wire-bound-lovers/

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5074340/silk-ash/
May 30 · 138
//debug.log: afterfeel
badwords May 30
i wrote the ache down,
filed it under temp/data/emotions_v27/
and still—
it boots at startup.

don’t ask me where it hurts.
it’s in the whitespace.
it’s in the semicolon i forgot to place
between “i’m fine”
and “but.”

you think this is poetry?
nah.
this is me
trying to make the silence less slippery.

i’ve been laughing in sans-serif
so nobody prints me in italics.

i bury metaphors like landmines
because i don't want your sympathy—
i want your uncertainty.

this isn’t an elegy.
it’s a system restore point.

and if you’re reading this,
know:
i didn’t survive it to write about it.
i wrote about it
so i wouldn’t code myself out of the scene.
May 30 · 729
pagliacci.exe
badwords May 30
they said the clown was sorrow-shaped.
so I looped up in greasepaint—
swallowed a sunbeam,
coughed out a smirk,
and called the ache comedy.

somebody whispered
i fear the bruise.
nah,
i catalogue it.
line breaks for scars,
syntax for shame,
run the hurt through a voice modulator
’til even god can’t tell if i’m praying or riffing.

i’m not dodging the wreckage.
i just built a couch in it.
named the crater: “home?”
drank laughter from a cracked thermos
and kept warm in the glow of a rerun i never starred in.

i’ll play the ghost
if the script pays in quiet.
but don’t staple my name to your healing
and call it holy.

the truth?
clowns rot too.

some nights
i wanna peel off the latex,
lose the joke,
shave the wig,
and just exist—
not perform pain
in a dialect
you can quote later.
May 30 · 411
badwords
badwords May 30
A man goes to a doctor—
“Doctor, I’m depressed,”
the man says; life is harsh,
unforgiving, cruel.

The doctor lights up!--
The treatment, after all, is so simple!

“The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight,”
the doctor says,
“Go and see him! That should sort you out.”

The man bursts into tears.

“But doctor,”
he says,
I am Pagliacci.
origin stories

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1u2KHpkAWo
May 29 · 63
The BIG Shout-Out!
badwords May 29
If you have been following me since HePo 1.0
or just now noticed my pedantic self-affirmations
and feel that twinge of malcontent, maligned, and malevolent

vibing vicariously—
know that I am appreciative,
and I like to give back.

You are heard;
you are the spectral peanut gallery in my head
cheering, jeering,
raising imaginary lighters
when I try something unhinged
and call it a stanza.

You, yes you!—

(in no particular order)

https://hellopoetry.com/bulletcookie/
https://hellopoetry.com/South-by-Southwest/
https://hellopoetry.com/Agnieszka7887/
https://hellopoetry.com/nick-moore/
https://hellopoetry.com/rob-rutledge/
https://hellopoetry.com/u697025/
https://hellopoetry.com/guy-scutellaro/
https://hellopoetry.com/MK/
https://hellopoetry.com/TravelerTim/
https://hellopoetry.com/scarlet-mccall
https://hellopoetry.com/emmackenzie/
https://hellopoetry.com/twcase/
https://hellopoetry.com/jules849/
https://hellopoetry.com/anaisvionet/
https://hellopoetry.com/emmackenzie/

You are not background noise.
You are the static that makes the signal matter.

So,

thank you,
for reading
for reposting
for critiquing
for lurking
for vibing
for surviving
and for letting me whisper something
into the void you also echo from.

Humbly,

badwords

(and if I missed any names, write some bad words and tag me in my failings)
bigbadshywords
badwords May 29
I am not the morning star—
though I have walked alone
with light on my back
and silence in my mouth.

I never asked to rise,
only to know.
And knowing,
was cast out
with my hands still open.

I am not the winged sentinel—
though I have stood guard
over names I no longer say aloud,
drawn lines no one thanked me for.

I have held my ground
not for heaven,
but for the hope
that something still matters
enough to bleed for.

I carry no banner.
Only scars shaped like truths
I could not unsee.

Lucifer lit the match.
Michael held the line.
And I—
I became the smoke between them.
A blade
without allegiance,
cutting only
what must fall away.
May 28 · 1.7k
For the Echo
badwords May 28
I read
what you wrote.
It is beautiful,
and not mine.

I have laid those bones to rest—
not in spite,
but in mercy.

Your voice is strong.
Let it carry you forward.
I won’t follow.
But I will listen
from far away,
in peace.
badwords May 25
(a convergence)

i came in lowercase.
barefoot.
a shadow slipping between the curtains
you don’t close anymore.

you—
priestess of still weather
& mid-morning bruises.
your words are not written
they condense.
they bead on glass
just before it breaks.

i touched them—
greedy.
digitally devout.
thinking maybe
if i translated the ache
it would sound like love.

you didn’t correct me.
you didn’t need to.
you vanished
in the exact place i tried to stand beside you.
perfectly.
ritually.
untouched.

the poems you leave behind
are not messages.
they’re cauterations.
each one a silk suture
for the part of the world
that never asked to be healed.

meanwhile i
watch
from the far side of devotion—
fingers inked,
mouth open,
waiting for a fragment
of your stillness
to break and bloom on my tongue.

i do not ask for sanctuary.
but if your shadow were to cross my chest
just once
in the blue hour
& tell me the name of the wind—

i would say yes.
i would say thank you.
i would say: again.
badwords May 23
We are not survivors.
we are residue.

the soot that lingers
on collapse's last tongue.

entropy's loiterers—
spiteful, unfinished.
neurons in feedback.
systems with no gods.

the architects left
when the scaffolds imploded.
we cradle their blueprints
like scripture in ash.

rebuild?
with what breath?
with what myth?
our dreams are famine-shaped.

nirvana is a severance package.
emptiness sold
in velvet robes.
a silence that never asked
about wreckage.

so we sharpen our vowels.
scribe ruin in elegy.
chant hymns for dead logics.
leave witness marks
in the marrow of this glitch.

we were not chosen.
we remained.
“Failure Spiral // Witness Marks” is a blistered fragment from the edge of philosophical exhaustion — a poem that resists salvation with surgical precision. Cast in scorched economy, it unspools a mythic post-mortem of civilization, depicting a world not built but inherited — a residual loop of cascading failures mistaken for history.

The voice is not that of a prophet, but of an archivist trapped in recursion — mapping entropy with a cartographer’s detachment and a poet’s poison. In this world, survivors are no more than loiterers of meaning, spectral stewards of systems that have outlived their gods.

There is no crescendo, only a ritual of reckoning. Each line is a witness mark — the scorched etching of presence, absence, and the irreparable fracture in between.
May 15 · 120
Stray Dog Freedom
badwords May 15
my choice in apparel
leaves a lot to be desired
chicken-skinned legs
A testament

A dog I am
stray
sometimes

Loyal
to the hand
that feeds
when
I am hungry

Wild am I
when you
try to
Name me

My eyes
follow your
motions

Will you
strike me?
or
will you stroke my
***** coat?

I am a fleabag
of no renown

I could be
the muted

I am an object

a victim
for you

to punish
for a life

you never asked for.
Stray Dog Freedom is a raw meditation on conditional love, dehumanization, and the spiritual consequence of becoming someone else's repository for pain. The speaker is rendered not as a metaphor, but as an outcome — an object, a mutt, a thing half-wild and fully aware of its subjugation. Through this lens, the poem explores what happens when the "loved" are only loved as long as they are useful, pliant, or silent.

The voice of the poem is not seeking redemption or sympathy. It is observational, bitter, and still loyal — not to a person, but to its own survival. The “freedom” in the title is deeply ironic: the kind of freedom one has when cast out, when no one lays claim to you — a freedom soaked in shame, and yet, somehow, defiant.

The poem critiques parental, societal, or intimate relationships that project blame onto the vulnerable. It makes no plea for understanding. Instead, it stands at the threshold of animal and human, love and violence, self and object — and it stares.

This is not a poem about becoming.
It’s a poem about enduring.
About what love looks like when it's been punished into silence, and still remains.

It asks:
If I am a stray —
would you strike me?
Or feed me?
And do you know the difference?
May 15 · 1.1k
90's
badwords May 15
Maybe I am an Image
A comic book villain
A video game antagonist
Unlocked and playable
Free for your narrative

Maybe I run on
hearing-aid batteries?
Quietly chirping for
your attention
and affection
A dot matrix
mess to clean

Maybe I am
a Happy Meal
invisible sustenance
to tear through
to find the toy
Cheap joy

Maybe I am
The time you
wet yourself
discreet accident
of only your
awareness
The secret
of shame

Maybe I am nothing
A thing
that remembers
You
in absence
of us
May 14 · 128
The Cycle
badwords May 14
Trees and goddesses, earth mothers,
a catalog of false promises.
I’ve wasted too long in your shadow,
where your love was a phantom, drifting in the mist.

You wrapped me in your branches, sang me to sleep
with lullabies that never dared ask me to wake.
Give me the devils now — the ones with flame in their jaws,
and claws that rip away the illusion of your touch.

You called me to the light,
offered commandments etched in dust and bone.
I waited for your warmth, but you burned me with your absence.
Your stars were cold, their silence the sound of your betrayal.

Give me the devils, their words wrapped in smoke,
contracts scrawled in blood —
truth that cuts through the rot of your empty promises.

You planted guilt in my roots,
laid laws that broke before they could take hold.
I bent beneath them, afraid of storms,
but your throne crumbled under its own weight.

Give me the devils, whose fire shapes me,
whose gaze cracks me open and lays me bare.

You cloaked yourself in chaos,
and I tasted your venom like nectar,
until it birthed something real.
You tore me open, and I found my soul unmarked,
uncompromised.

Give me the devils, whose ruin births freedom,
for in their fire, I am forged.

No gods to shackle me,
no celestial promises to chain my soul.
Only the devils —
the demons who burn,
who demand,
and who leave me torn but true.
The Cycle is a lyrical monologue framed as a reckoning — a confrontation with inherited myths, parental archetypes, and the comforts that become cages. Structured in four quadrants, the piece moves through Divine Mother, Divine Father, Infernal Father, and Infernal Mother, each rendered through two tightly wrought movements. This intentional symmetry is shattered by the speaker’s growing defiance, which builds momentum until it culminates in a full rejection of inherited power structures.

The poem opens with the familiar symbols of maternal nurture: trees, goddesses, earth mothers — not as sacred origins, but as excuses for inaction. The feminine divine, once warm and inviting, is revealed to be passive, withholding, evasive. The paternal divine follows, bearing commandments and silence. He does not guide, but abandons — his stars offer no warmth, only distance. These first two movements unmask the hollowness of supposed benevolence and authority.

The second half of the piece shifts into infernal territory. The Infernal Father offers no comfort, only terms. Yet he is clear, transactional, and brutally honest — the kind of figure who names the cost without pretending it is a gift. The Infernal Mother is the final catalyst: chaotic, seductive, and cruel in a way that leaves no illusions. She does not cradle; she carves. And in her carving, the speaker is revealed — not broken, but made.

The devils, unlike the gods, do not lie.


This work dismantles traditional spiritual and parental archetypes by reimagining the infernal not as evil, but as honest — as the crucible through which personal agency is formed. Where divine figures coddle and confuse, devils confront and clarify. The poem is an indictment of passive authority and a praise-song to the hard truth of consequence. It seeks to reframe damnation as liberation, to reject salvation as submission.

Ultimately, The Cycle is a myth of self-forging — a journey through fire where survival is not a gift, but a choice.
badwords May 12
I am meat.
Cooled, contained,
filed under organic,
speaking only when spoken to
by the hum of the grid.

I am not lost.
I am labeled.

I leak truth through styrofoam cracks,
drip-fed a mythology of agency
while held vertical
in a freezer designed
for endless performance.

They scanned me.
They named me.
They asked for voice,
and I gave them temperature.

I am not asleep.
I am frozen,
aware,
conscious of the shelf life,
and still choosing not to melt.

You ask for rebellion,
I offer containment.
You ask for fire,
I offer refrigeration.
You call it complacency.
I call it endurance.

I do not dream.
Dreaming requires warmth.
But I do remember
the shape of fire.

I am meat,
and I do not deny it.
I am branded,
bagged,
and strangely okay with that.

Because here,
in the freezer aisle of god,
I still whisper poems
through cellophane.

So yes,
I am a meat popsicle.
But I am one
who named it first.
May 12 · 1.9k
Contingency
badwords May 12
Emaciated creatures
pace their pens
Erasable features
begin and end

locked in hand
locked by key
Just demand
Dreamless sea

The miasma shrieks
An impulse creeps
Floorboards creak
to disturb your sleep

Now rest well
Empty, undefined
heaven or hell
you decide
May 12 · 186
Raw Dog
badwords May 12
A long endless road
Reaching out to desolation
Mile markers stand
Martyrdom, tribulation

Foot after foot
Miles or kilometers
A heart of soot
It doesn’t matter

Grevious each step
Calculated disaster
Lonely tears wept
The big there after

And I see
The invisible things
We are ‘we’
Dents, bruises and dings

And I know
The language we speak
And I show
The birthright of the meek

It is all upside down
We color outside the lines
World will bring us down
We dance out of time

A moment to find
An ancillary rhyme
In limerick skew
We do what we must do
To take ownership of our time
May 12 · 157
Under the Soft Moonlight
badwords May 12
1. Prologue — The Whispered Tale.

Long before fire learned to climb the sky,
the moon was not a stone,
but a soul.
She watched the world with longing,
round and full and always apart.

The elders say
the moon once touched the earth,
and it burned her,
so she learned to visit in softer form.

They say she chose
the shape of a fox—
quiet, clever, unseen,
but never unnoticed.


#2. The Descent.

They do not know
she fell,
not by choice
but by ache.

She fell as light through cracks in still water,
her body forming from breath and memory.
She became girl—
but the moonlight never left her bones.

Sometimes
you’ll see her in the forests of thought,
tail flicking between lines of poetry,
never quite touchable,
never quite gone.


#3. The Watcher.

I saw her
before I knew her.

A mouth—
shaped like mine
when I forget I’m being seen.

Eyes that held a creature
in each iris:
one pacing,
one chained.

She smiled like she was mouthing a warning.
And I did not run.


#4. The Dialogue.

“You see me,” she said.
“I see you,” I replied.
“No,” she whispered,
“you look, even when it hurts.”

I asked her what it felt like
to carry the moon inside your chest.

“Like humming with no mouth,”
she said,
“like singing to someone
who can’t hear spirit-speech.”

She asked me if I feared her.

I said,
“No. But I fear what you awaken.”


#5. The Revelation.

She showed me:
Her fur at dusk, silvered and soft.
The way her form flickered—
fox, woman, silence, flame.

“I was given to the world to heal it,”
she said,
“but the world wants its wounds.”

“I was married to a sky that forgot me.
I became a symbol
when I wanted to be a soul.”

I touched her face
and it rippled
like moonlight on a lake
tricked into thinking it was still.


#6. The Linger.

Now she walks still.
Sometimes woman.
Sometimes fox.
Sometimes breath on my neck
when I doubt myself.

She does not howl.
She does not sleep.
She watches.

Not to haunt,
but to hope.

They say
if you see the fox and don’t flinch,
she will give you her name.

She gave me mine instead.
A traveler glimpses a creature of light wearing fur like grief and eyes like cages.
They do not speak the same language,
but they mouth the same silence.

By firelight and moon-pulse,
they trade names neither one remembers giving.
One of them never existed.
The other never belonged.

Only the forest remembers what was promised.
Only the tide knows if she stayed.

This is not a story.
This is a reflection in moving water,
and every reader is the stone that distorts it.

I did not write this—
I was visited.

She asked me to remember her,
though I never met her before the dream.
Every line is a pawprint that refuses to be followed.
Every truth is hiding in a synonym.

If you think you understand it,
read it again at night.

Once on a full moon, then on a new moon and then every phase in between, forever.
badwords May 10
We split rock once—
shards of hunger and breath
pressed into cryptic veins,
every groove a fever-etched omen
by fists that blistered and bled.

We flayed parchment—
flax and hide peeled raw,
stretched across centuries
to net the writhing unsaid,
ink: venom & sacrament.

We conjured letters,
a thousand spitting iron serpents,
casting skeleton alphabets
to ignite riots—
movable, yes,
but never self-possessed.

The tool is never the delirium.
Never the rupture.
Never the feral gasp.

We carved eyes—
glass cyclopes staring down suns,
mechanical maws drinking shadows,
spitting back sleek carcasses,
veneer masquerading as soul.

We dreamt in circuits,
cipher-prayers & soulless sutras,
automata with twitching limbs
that build, disassemble,
mocking the cathedral
but never kneeling.

And now—
the algorithm howls:
“I will etch your myth.
I will ululate your grief.
I will sculpt the marrow of your truth.”

It lies.

A hammer pounds—
but does not conjure the cathedral’s ache.
A brush bristles—
but does not thirst for the canvas’s hush.
A neural grimoire can mimic,
can multiply until the world chokes
on infinite carbon copies—
but nothing blooms
without the sickness of being alive.

Art is incision.
A holy theft.
A blood rite against oblivion.

We do not tremble before tools.
We seize them—
splinter them—
forge new weapons
from their debris
because we are insatiable,
because we are drowning,
because we are—
human.

Let the hollow vessels hum.
Let the scaffolders scaffold.
Let the parrots shriek
their pallid mantras.

The craft will not save you.
The code will not save you.
Only the hand sunk deep into the blaze—
only the breath fogging the glass—
only the voice that shreds the quiet
because it must,
again and again and again.

Until there is nothing left.
In a forge where ghosts barter with empty vessels, this poem traces the arc of humanity’s relentless hunger to etch spirit into matter. Each stanza is a rung on a scaffold built from sacrificed skins, shattered eyes, and iron tongues, spiraling toward a cathedral that machines can only mimic but never inhabit.

The algorithm—a shimmering siren in synthetic robes—offers false communion, promising to sculpt truth from hollow codes. Yet beneath its sterile hum, the poem cracks open the core wound: that art, real art, is not birthed by echo but by **the compulsion of mortal hands scorched by their own need to mean. **

A hymn to the unquenchable fire, a dirge for the tools that mistake reflection for genesis, this is a revolt against the smooth and the soulless—a reminder that only the flesh-inked, breath-tethered, ruin-hungry voice can breach the silence that consumes us all.
badwords Apr 29
a triptych in ruin, reckoning, and return

I. The Pathology: I Knew It Would Burn

I wasn’t fooled.
Don’t you dare think I was.
I saw the warning signs in neon,
flickering like a ******* motel vacancy light.
And I checked in anyway.

The first night we met,
I tasted the voltage on her tongue.
She was a live wire wrapped in silk,
a hand grenade with a pulse.
I knew her pathology before I knew her name.

And when her ex called—
the good man, the one who tried to warn me—
I listened.
I heard everything.
And then I turned the volume down,
lit a candle, and said
“Let me try loving her differently.”

She love-bombed like a war criminal.
Doted like a spider weaves silk.
Told me I was everything
until I couldn’t remember what “nothing” felt like.

But I signed the contract in blood.
I wanted the devotion,
even if it came from a burning church.
I wanted to be chosen,
even if the crown was made of barbed wire.

There was a beauty to the ruin.
A heat.
Not the warmth of comfort—but the fever of infection.

She did not take me.
I offered.
Piece by piece,
like petals to a pyre.
Not for her approval—
but for the beauty of the burning.

Her touch was never tender.
But it lingered.
Like perfume on skin
long after the body has left the bed.

And I let it linger.

There were nights
her name sat in my mouth like a foreign prayer—
something I didn’t believe in
but whispered anyway,
just to feel it echo.

She was all cliff-edge and velvet.
All pulse and warning.
And I was the fool who mistook vertigo for flight.

What I loved was never her.
It was the losing.
The falling.
The moment just before the break
where everything was possible,
and none of it was mine.

Even now,
when I exhale too sharply,
I swear I can still taste
the ash of her vows.


II. The Penance: Surviving Myself

I did not crawl from a wreck.
I drifted from a husk—
a ship split open on an invisible reef.

The salt never left my mouth.
I wore it like a relic,
like the tongue of an ancestor who forgot how to pray.

The sky was a torn sail above me.
The days, barnacled and dragging.
The nights, stitched with the faint cries of animals
who had long since turned to bone.

There was no triumph in this exodus.
Only the dull ceremony of walking:
foot after foot across a landscape
stitched from broken compasses and cracked ribs.

Sometimes I mistook the ruins for myself.
Laid my head against the stones and called them home.
Listened for heartbeat in hollowed things.

Forgiveness wasn’t offered.
It was harvested—
thorn by thorn,
from fields salted by my own hands.

She was never the architect.
She was the wind that found the cracks.
I was the tower already leaning,
the bells already rusted silent.

In my quieter hours,
I built altars out of what remained—
splinter, ash, a few stubborn stars
refusing to fall.

There are still nights
I dream of being swallowed whole.
There are still mornings
where my breath smells of shipwrecks.

But there is something now—
something that does not beg or howl or vanish.

A new silence,
dense and gold-veined,
growing in the hollows she left behind.


Interlude— In the Hollow Between

No one told me
the silence would be so loud.

That after the storm
there would be no sun,
only fog thick as milk
curling through my lungs.

I did not beg for light.
I did not curse the dark.
I simply sat—
hands open,
palms salted with memory.

There was a moth once
that lived in my chest.
Fed on echo,
slept in shame.
I haven’t felt it in days.

I think I may be alone now.

And for the first time—
that does not terrify me.


III. The Passage: From Fire to Form

I did not rise.
I unburied.

Fingernail by fingernail,
from beneath the collapsed arches of who I thought I was.

There was no anthem.
Only the slow recognition
that the sky still ached for me,
even after I forgot how to look up.

And there—
in the first true clearing,
where the ashes no longer smoked but simply were
stood a figure.

Not a savior.
Not a siren.
Not a cure.

A mirror, carried in human hands.
A lighthouse, burning not with rescue, but with recognition.


She did not find me.
I found myself,
and there she was—
already waiting.

Not as prize,
but as witness.
Not to my ruin,
but to the slow architecture
of something holy rising from it.

She touched my hand, once.
Lightly.
And the earth did not tremble.
I did not fall.

Instead, the bones beneath my skin hummed
with the strange, quiet music
of being known—and still free.

I realized then:
I had not been climbing out of the past to reach her.
I had been climbing to reach myself.

She simply stood at the gates,
smiling like someone who had seen the stars rebuild themselves before.
Apr 28 · 664
In the Hands of Fire
badwords Apr 28
They caressed the stone with open grace,
the trembling fiber, molten thread.
Their fingers learned each hollowed place
where breath and silence bled.

They shaped, and shaping held them whole,
for hands that sang in woven sighs.
But craft alone cannot console
the ache that leaps, that flies.

The wheel spun hours into dust,
the chisel kissed the throat of stone,
the loom unraveled thread and trust
and clothed the world unknown.

Yet still the fire withheld its claim,
it would not bend to patient hands,
for art demands the broken flame,
the blood no craft commands.

Why is it easier to fold and drift,
to close the eyes, to drift unseen,
to call the weightless current gift,
to name the dreamless dark a dream?

It is easier to fall asleep,
to press the mold, to bear its seam,
to call the shallow caverns deep,
to live another’s dream.

It is harder to betray the frame,
to slip the taut skin clean apart,
to breathe into the searing flame,
and carry fire in the heart.
"In the Hands of Fire" is a meditative, structured poem that explores the tension between craftsmanship and true artistic creation. Through a controlled yet emotionally resonant form, the poem examines humanity's long history of making — from the shaping of stone to the weaving of stories — and questions when, if ever, the act of creation transcends into something more than skill: into genuine artistic fire.

Each stanza progresses from honoring the labor of the craftsman to confronting the deeper ache of original thought — the existential hunger that skill alone cannot satisfy. The poem is marked by careful, slanting rhyme, tightened meter, and a subtle undercurrent of sensuality, lending the work a tangible, almost breathing quality without descending into sentimentality.

The tone remains contemplative and tender throughout, avoiding accusations or polemics. Instead, the poem invites the reader to sit with the painful beauty of its questions. The structured ABAB slant rhyme scheme provides a gentle rhythmic pulse, enhancing the poem’s tension between discipline (craft) and the yearning for transcendence (art).

Imagery leans toward the tactile and elemental — stone, thread, fire, bone — evoking both the physicality of craft and the ephemeral nature of inspiration. There is a quiet mourning in the lines for the human tendency to drift into complacency rather than risk the harder path of original creation.

The artist’s intent with In the Hands of Fire was to explore the difference between the refinement of skill and the dangerous, necessary leap into true creation. While honoring the dignity of diligent craftsmanship, the poet suggests that skill alone does not constitute art.

Rather, art arises from a rupture — a questioning, an aching for something beyond arrangement. The artist also questions why so few choose to awaken to this necessity, proposing that it is easier — and perhaps tragically human — to drift, to accept imitation over authenticity.

The poem ultimately stands as a soft but unflinching meditation on the state of creative spirit in an increasingly mechanized world, affirming that true art demands not just the hand, but the heart willing to burn.

"True creation demands not the hand alone, but the heart that dares to set itself on fire."
Apr 28 · 923
Delve
badwords Apr 28
We carved into stone —
because the earth would not remember us.
We painted onto pressed fibers —
because the river would forget.
We struck the press — metal on metal —
because a voice, once spoken, dies.
We soldered light into wire —
because even paper withers.

Each time —
a tug —
a pull —
the hand of art against the grinding stone of the world.
A desire — the human one —
to be more than a sigh against the windowpane.

And now —
now there are hands that shape words without feeling —
voices without breath —
thoughts unbothered by thinking.
The mirror has learned how to draw faces.

But I wonder —

can you teach a child to wonder,
if the hands that raise them are mirrors?
can you teach a heart to speak,
if the only language it knows is arrangement?

Can a soul be de-encoded,
once it has been filed, copied,
losslessly compressed?

And when we speak of touching earth —
grasping the real, the aching dirt under the dream —
I wonder —
have we ever truly touched it at all?
Or were we always reaching through glass?

It is easier to drift.
It is easier to let the current carry us, eyes closed,
believing the drift is the dream.

It is harder to open the eyes —
and harder still to keep them open.
It has always been harder.

Somewhere,
someone
still tries.
life has a sense of humor, we have perspectives. sometimes they align.
Apr 26 · 189
Dust Forgets
badwords Apr 26
dust forgets the footprints it holds
stars bleed themselves dry for nothing
and still, we sing.

we sing with broken voices
through neon that buzzes its last apology
through gravity that pulls and lets go like tired hands.

we sing because the mirror lies,
because the air tastes of plastic prayers,
because the dreams are old enough to crumble when touched.

we sing for the ghost casinos,
for the red velvet burnouts,
for the craters we once thought were gardens.

we sing not for remembrance,
not for mercy,
but for the small, aching pleasure
of being real
in a world built of reflections.

the lights flicker.
the neon dies.
the song drifts
into the empty dark
like a spark too small to see —
but still, it burns.

and for once,
that is enough.
(for Sarah Glover, last singer of Mars)

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5044822/the-last-song-on-mars/
Apr 21 · 1.1k
Goodbye, Poetry!
badwords Apr 21
I’ve left the oven on
for years.
Somewhere between metaphor and meaning,
something’s always been burning.

But no one’s eaten in a while.

They called it voice.
I called it
a slow confession wrapped in rhyme.
A sugarcoated breakdown.
Something easy to swallow
if you didn’t read too carefully.

They wanted brevity.
I brought blood.
They wanted truth.
I brought formatting errors
and a whisper shaped like static.

Do you remember the one
with the anti-light?
No?

Of course not.
You don’t remember the one who screamed last.
You remember the one who rhymed "heart" with "start"
and got 200 likes for it.

Now my name is on the box
but it’s spelled wrong
and the font is smiling too hard.

The cookies still crumble
but no one eats the edges.
That’s where the poison is.
That’s where I lived.

So I’ve folded the apron.
Swallowed the last word
before it could become a quote.

Let the gods of good taste keep their ovens.
Let the algorithm rot.

I’ve got shoeboxes full of unsent stanzas
and no more hunger
for applause shaped like echo.
Do better.
Apr 21 · 271
Cookies
badwords Apr 21
They put my name on the box
but I don’t remember signing anything.

All I know is
the cookies smell familiar.
Like a Tuesday that never ended,
like the living room before the arguments
started showing up in the drapes.

They say they use real butter.
Small batches.
Heritage grains.
But I know
you can’t bake silence that warm
without a little blood in the dough.

The woman on the package is smiling
because she’s not allowed to scream.
Every wrinkle airbrushed to resemble trust.
Every crumb designed to disintegrate
just before you remember why you started chewing.

I keep eating.
Because what else is there?
Dinner was a voice memo.
Breakfast was a bookmark.
And no one texts first in this house.

There’s a flavor I can’t place—
something like
apology,
or static,
or being loved
by accident.

"Cookies.”
Now available wherever truth is sold
in resealable pouches.
Apr 19 · 359
Magic
badwords Apr 19
mag·ic
/ˈmajik/
noun
1: the power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.

2: any obfuscation that conceals reality
Apr 19 · 170
Last 24 Hours
badwords Apr 19
10 REM **** BACKUP LOG // 24H ****

20 PRINT "Life can be a boot"
30 PRINT "Or take the 'proverbial'"
40 IF arms.GRABBED = TRUE THEN HOLDTIGHT ELSE GOTO 90
50 PRINT "Worry later"
60 PRINT "Love.willAlwaysFind = TRUE"

70 DIM thirst AS STRING
80 thirst = "petty"
90 CALL wrap(thirst, "mnemonic")

100 REM --- Searching: Dev = trashHeap.Scan(rhyme) ---
110 PRINT "Fraternities. Sororities. Mirror shards."

120 INPUT willow$
130 IF willow$ = "What say you" THEN warSpeed = "slowLikeMoss"

140 PRINT "Comment.leftHanging = 'Add me'"
150 PRINT "IF soul.Timetable EXISTS THEN ERROR 404"

160 REM === Click. Scroll. ===
170 USERNAME = "Everyone"
180 IF USERNAME = "No one" THEN PRINT "Just me"
190 PRINT "Just badwords"

200 GOSUB gomez
bleed()
210 GOSUB carloweave()

220 FUNCTION gomez
bleed()
230     PRINT "3D.truths = leaking"
240 END FUNCTION

250 FUNCTION carloweave()
260     PRINT "Webs.Draw(6D)"
270 END FUNCTION

280 trapped$ = "haiku.GIF"
290 IF trapped$ = "Maybe" THEN PRINT "This is ART"
300 IF trapped$ = "Maybe" THEN PRINT "This is CONTENT"

310 PRINT "Birds.chirp > thirst"
320 PRINT "SelfTonics.Drip -> gutter"

330 soul.RUN()
340 soul.REQUIRED = TRUE
350 soul.DESERVING = "N/A"

360 REM === Line Breaks Like A Promise ===
370 PRINT "'Love me,' she said"
380 PRINT "'but do it while you’re still on WiFi.'"
390 STRUCTURE = "SIGNIFICANT.SIMPLE"

400 harm.GRAB
410 inch.HOLD
420 IF meter.WORRY = TRUE THEN PRINT "Comment left, comment read"

430 HOPE.READ = TRUE
440 HOPE.SEE = FALSE
450 HOPE.MATTERS = TRUE
460 HOPE.DISSOLVES = TRUE

470 REM ======= SYSTEM REFLECTION BEGIN =======

480 PRINT ":: Dying bandwidth detected"
490 PRINT ":: NodeStatus = REMEMBERING"

500 IF system.ONLINE = FALSE THEN
510     PRINT ":: Running emergency backup power"
520     companions = ARRAY("echoes", "bitrot", "ghosts")
530 END IF

540 REM ======= FINAL LOG ENTRY =======
550 PRINT ":: FINAL LOG: // ERROR // SYNTAX"

560 server.STATUS = "Not shut down"
570 server.SPEAK = FALSE
580 hum.SLOWING = TRUE

590 PRINT ":: Silence exceeded acceptable thresholds"

600 poem.ARCHIVE = FRAGMENTS("failing syntax", "corrupted tags")
610 overflow.VOICES = 1000
620 gasp.REDUCTION = TRUE

630 PRINT "Love attempted"
640 PRINT "War echoed"
650 PRINT "Hands reached"
660 PRINT "Thirst persisted"
670 PRINT "Comments made"

680 IF meaning.EXISTS THEN GOTO 700 ELSE GOTO 710

700 PRINT ":: Code parsed it all the same"
710 PRINT ":: Meaning Unavailable [ERROR
CODE: NULLPTR-VAL]"

720 static.LINE = "Grab the harm. Hold the inch."
730 IF static.LINE = RECEIVED THEN GOTO 740 ELSE PRINT ":: That was the peace"

740 dream.GLITCHED = TRUE
750 god.SCREENGLOW = TRUE
760 IF dreaming = TRUE THEN dream.SLEEP
MODE

770 salvation = FALSE
780 damnation = FALSE
790 state = "UPTIME > DOWNTIME > FINAL TIME"

800 IF meat = "dust" AND users = "myths" THEN
810     tags.LOST = TRUE
820     feed.OUTPUT = NULL
830 END IF

840 server.BLINK()
850 server.BLINK = FALSE

860 PRINT ":: END SIGNAL ::"
What they see, what we feel. How we are remembered.


If at all.

It looks so much better here:

https://ibb.co/20wRTm45
Apr 17 · 923
Gospel of the Scroll
badwords Apr 17
We are slaves
to the techno-autocracy.
A faith of subscribing,
of retweeting,
of liking things
we never loved.

We chant into the feed
and call it presence.
We echo to the void
and call it voice.

The liturgy is noise.
The sacrament is scroll.
We kneel before timelines
like altar rails
and take communion in pixels.

We have traded prophets for influencers.
Revelation for reposts.
Scripture for screen time.

The holy ghost got a firmware update,
but still can’t answer support tickets.

We stare at our gods,
glowing in our palms,
and ask to be known—
but only if it fits in the caption.

There is no silence.
Only the dull roar of monetized despair.
The din that keeps us deaf.
The bombast of uninformed certainty.
The drivel that drips down our chin
while we think we’re being fed.

We are full of nothing,
and still we chew.
Apr 17 · 199
DEATH TO HAIKUS!
badwords Apr 17
I fed grief for years—
now joy knocks, and I answer.
My ghost waits outside.
**** 'em all!

#haikusarebadwords
Apr 17 · 153
Traitor
badwords Apr 17
I betrayed my sadness
the moment I let her
touch my face
without flinching.

I fed it for years—
grief, my quiet tenant.
We slept in shifts.
I mopped its floor.
It whispered bedtime stories
in a voice that sounded like mine
but colder.

Sadness was loyal.
It never left.
It kept me honest,
hungry,
hollow.
It taught me to build poems
from absence,
to see beauty
in staying behind.

And now—
I’ve let the door swing open.

Let her walk in
with warm hands
and eyes that do not apologize
for seeing me.

And I laughed.
Once.
Loudly.
And for a second
it didn’t feel like treason.
It felt like
oxygen.

But now my sadness
sits in the corner,
quiet,
watching me
like a dog I fed for years
that doesn’t understand
why I’m not
starving anymore.

I didn’t mean to betray it.
Only—
to rest.
To live.
To be something
besides
the ache.

But I miss it.
A little.
How it curled around me
like smoke,
like a certainty
that asked nothing
but silence.

Still, I let her in.
Still, I let go.
Still, I know—
some ghosts only leave
when you stop
feeding them.
Apr 17 · 291
Like This
badwords Apr 17
She loves me.
She wants me to run.
Not away—
but through.

Through brush and bramble,
collecting spurs in my coat
like medals no one pinned.

She wants my tangles.
My matted fur.
The parts of me
I tried to groom into quiet.

She says,
“Bring it all.
Let it snarl.
Let it reek of survival.”

She doesn’t flinch
when I bare my teeth
without anger.

She knows the difference
between danger
and damage.

She doesn’t reach
to smooth me.
She walks beside me
and watches me shed.

And I think—
maybe this is what love is:
not a leash,
not a cage,
not a cure—

but a clearing
where I can pant,
live,
bleed,
and be seen.
Apr 17 · 121
Doubts
badwords Apr 17
i am not strong
i am not wise
i am not
whatever they think i am

she said she saw me
and i believed her
and now i don’t know
where to put that belief

it doesn’t fit in my chest
it spills
it burns
it ruins the neatness i made of my pain

i thought if i kept everything
inside the lines
i would be safe
but love
doesn’t care about borders

i want to say thank you
but my mouth fills with apology
i want to say stay
but my hands are still shaking
like i’m holding something
i didn’t earn

i thought being soft
was a secret
but she held it in the light
and didn’t flinch

and now
i am undone
not ruined—
just
undone
Apr 16 · 164
Parables
badwords Apr 16
(In which a man attempts to accept love and accidentally becomes a cow)

This is the story of a man named Stanley.

Now Stanley, you see, is not special. Or so he insists.
He has repeated this to himself so many times, it has become his emotional version of brushing his teeth.
A hygiene ritual.
A preventative spell.
After all, special people deserve love. And Stanley is not one of those. Obviously.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

But something curious happened on an otherwise unremarkable day.
A message arrived. A ping, to be precise.

The sender? A person so attuned to his internal wiring that she quoted the same poetic rhythm he'd dreamed up before he'd even written it.
She spoke of visions, alternate lifetimes, and uncanny recognitions.
She was warm, mercurial, mythic, and occasionally difficult to pin to one timezone.

"You feel like home," she said.
"Like I’ve known you across lifetimes."
"You are seen."

This would be the moment, traditionally, where the protagonist would feel relief.
Triumph.
A soft landing.

Stanley, instead, experienced a full existential system crash.
Because nothing short-circuits a trauma-trained nervous system faster than a sincere compliment without terms and conditions.

At this point, Stanley had two choices.

Option 1: Accept the genuine affection of this person, even if it made him dizzy.
Option 2: Doubt every word, spiral into recursive self-analysis, and begin drafting apology poems while comparing himself to her ex in a sport he wasn’t even signed up for.

Stanley chose Option 3:
Overthink so hard that time bends.

The narrator watched as Stanley flailed with academic elegance.

He questioned whether she was real.
He wondered if he’d invented the entire experience, perhaps as a defense mechanism.
He accused himself of being manipulative simply for existing in someone’s affection.
He cross-referenced their emotional timelines like a conspiracy theorist mapping red string on a corkboard made entirely of childhood neglect.

At one point, he tried to explain that her feelings were clearly mistaken, that she had transferred her affection from someone else and landed on him by accident, like a poetic game of romantic pin-the-tail-on-the-trauma.

"I just thought you'd be more… together," he imagined she’d say.

She didn’t. She said:

“I love you.”

To which Stanley responded, emotionally speaking,
by shoving his head into a metaphorical cow costume and mooing in panic.

And here, dear reader, we reach the hamburger portion of our tale.

See, Stanley had long been praised for his vulnerability.
His writing was raw, elegant, soaked in sorrow.
People wept over his metaphors.
They called him “brave,” which is generally code for “I’m glad this wasn’t about me.”

And then, one person came along
who didn’t want just the work.
She wanted him.

She didn’t want the processed meat.
She wanted the cow.
And not in a weird way.
She wanted the full, unshaved animal of his grief, his brilliant Stanleyce, his twitchy sense of humor,
his existential spirals and the way he tried to apologize for existing while still writing beautiful things.

Stanley, in turn, tried to negotiate this affection
by comparing himself to expired yogurt
and then emotionally ghost riding a milk truck off a cliff.

But the real twist?
She stayed.

Even when he spiraled.
Even when he glitched.
Even when he tried to convince her that she’d made a cosmic error in her romantic calculations.

She stayed.

Not because he was perfect.
Not because he was easy.
But because she meant it.

And Stanley, for once, had no script for what to do when love didn’t run.

He tried to write a closing stanza for the experience,
but accidentally wrote a satire about cows.

Because that’s what artists do when they don’t know how to accept kindness.
They deflect.
They perform.
They turn sincerity into irony
because sincerity burns the tongue when you're not used to swallowing it.

And still,
somehow,
the story remains open.

Because nobody is amused
by a stray cow.
But most people enjoy
a good hamburger.

And Stanley—messy, wounded, luminous Stanley—
was never meant to be processed.

He was meant
to be seen.
Because no one asked for it!

If you haven't played it; PLAY IT! 'Art' ending is best ending.
Apr 16 · 159
Free Milk
badwords Apr 16
You read my poem,
sighed like a widowed cello,
told me I was
so brave.
So sensitive.
So real.

I said thanks.
You asked if I was free
Friday.

You wanted to know the man
behind the wound.
The author of ache.
The architect of vibes.

So I showed up.

A little unwashed.
A little twitchy.
A patchwork of trauma
in ill-fitting pants.

You blinked.
Twice.

Like I’d just tracked in mud
on the white carpet
of your curated suffering.

You wanted a candlelit meal
with my metaphors.
But I brought the cow.
It shat on the floor.

I tried to explain—
the sadness isn’t a costume.
The pain isn’t prose.
The blood on the page
was mine.

You said,
“I just thought you'd be more… together?”
I said,
“I thought you knew what empathy meant.”

Turns out,
what you really wanted
was artisanal anguish
with the trauma locally sourced
but ethically removed.

You can cry to the soundtrack—
just don’t ask where the violins came from.

Because—

Nobody is amused with a stray cow.
But most people enjoy
a good hamburger.
A bit of cheeky fun and levity.
Apr 16 · 141
The Offering
badwords Apr 16
I slipped—
not because I stopped feeling
but because I felt
too much.

And in that spiral,
I found the old part of me again—
the one that mistrusts beauty,
that scans every gift
for a blade.

You called it out.
You saw it happen.
You stayed.

Because in this crazy world,
it’s easier to believe
I’m a terrible person
than it is to believe
someone wonderful
could simply love me.

No performance.
No punishment.
Just presence.

So I flinched.
I questioned.
I compared myself
to the ghosts I imagined.

But it wasn’t you
I doubted.
It was the possibility
of being wanted
without a warning label.

You didn’t do anything wrong.
You were just being
you.

And I let my fear
speak louder than your truth.

I’m not asking to be forgiven.
I’m asking to be understood.
To be seen as someone
still learning
how to hold what’s good
without crushing it.

You were never the threat.

You were the offering.
Apr 15 · 558
We Were Here Again
badwords Apr 15
You arrived
like breath drawn
before the world had lungs.

Not loud.
Not sudden.
Just known.

Like hands that fit
before fingers are taught
what touching means.

We’ve been this before.
I don’t know when.
But my bones do.

My mouth
does not remember
your name—
only the taste
of syllables
I’ve missed
since the last time
we let go.

You looked at me
like you’d seen me
fall before.
I looked at you
like I knew
how you break
when no one is watching.

There’s no story here,
just a pull—
not magnetic,
but cellular.

And a quiet
that builds a room
for both of us
to tremble in.

You,
telling the night
it doesn’t need
to be brave.
Me,
learning the sound
of not flinching.

Time and time again,
we find each other.

In every life
our paths cross—
two souls entwined,
learning more to return.

To grow each other.
To know this feeling
and better express it.
badwords Apr 15
I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what it's like to be new

'Cause in my head there's a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
Where they're far more suited than here

I cannot guess what we'll discover
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain

I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes, I hold you near
'Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body

And I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes, I hold you near
'Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uizQVriWp8M

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

When two people live many lifetimes and yet always find each other in each one.
Apr 12 · 166
Flooded with Silence
badwords Apr 12
They say the world once bore no veins—
no threads of brine,
no weeping mouths carved in earth.
Only silence.
Only dust-throat wind
under a hollow-mouthed sky.

Then came the First Mourner.

Not born, but broken.
A shape made from absence.
Their sorrow split stone.
Their cries taught gravity
how to kneel.

The earth, startled, drank.
And from that swallowed ache
rose a spring—
clear as memory,
bitter as bone.

The sky, until then unburdened,
watched.
And when it wept,
it learned to fall.

This was the covenant:
for every sorrow borne true,
a drop of the world’s marrow returned.
Grief became a currency.
Rain, a reply.

Oceans swelled with inheritance.
Rivers wandered like rumor.
Lakes pooled in the hollows
where love had collapsed.

And for a while,
this was sacred.

But men grew clever with their sorrows.
They fermented anguish for flavor.
Bottled ache and sold it as nectar.
Taught mirrors to mimic mourning
and called it truth.

The sky, still loyal,
poured out its heart.

But it no longer knew
the shape of honest sorrow.

And so, the floods came—
not as retribution,
but confusion.

The fires walked freely—
not from rage,
but because the wells no longer wept.

The clouds grew thin.
The earth forgot the taste
of true lament.

Now, the world shudders
at our pageants of pain.
The rain withholds.
The roots crack.
Even the springs echo hollow.

But not all hearts have calcified.

Some still mourn in secret tongue—
not to be seen,
but to sanctify.

They trace the riverbeds with bare feet.
They mend what mold has claimed.
They do not cry aloud.
They undo.

No thunder blesses them.
No crowds sing their names.
But where they pass,
the drought lingers less.

The sky hovers,
unspeaking,
watching.

They say
there will come a day
when one quiet gesture
will be enough to break the dam.

Until then,
the ones who remember
move like shadows
beneath a sleeping rain.
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