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 Apr 2018 Azuraine
XPY
Magic
 Apr 2018 Azuraine
XPY
She had galaxies
In her eyes
And her tears
Were falling stars.
© XPY 2018
 Apr 2018 Azuraine
Anji
I never asked you to touch me.
My limbs were heavy with sleep as you moved over me,
Doing things that I wouldn’t let you do earlier, when we were awake.
My first slumber party with a college boy took a turn at 3 AM
My eyes rolling back in my head,
And I felt your hands pulling the tops of my jeans down over my legs
Sleeping, I must be sleeping, dreaming, I must be dreaming…

Did you kiss me? I don’t remember
What did you do to me?
I don’t remember. Did I say yes, no, maybe, please?
I don’t remember.

But in the morning, I was staring at the ceiling while you slept, thinking
About my friend
Whose boyfriend pushed her down onto the bed
Calling her a tease and saying that if they were going to stay together
She was going to have to fulfill all of his needs…

And my Christian friend, who saw that cute guy at a party
And all night he kept complimenting her, bringing her drinks,
Until they slipped away into one of the back rooms,
And he forced her down to the floor, on her knees.
She called me the next morning, crying
Asking if I could please go pick up something for her.
“What?”
“God, this is so embarrassing… ok… I need a Plan B”.

And now I’m thinking about my ex, who had asked
His crush over to hangout and watch some Netflix
And
He was never sure what exactly happened, but
First they were kissing, then things escalated and
She took charge of his body, his hands and
A few days later he was standing in line to get an STD test.

I remember enough, though, enough from last night to know that
We didn’t have ***.
So.
Things could always be worse, I tell myself.
Things could always be worse… I guess.
 Apr 2018 Azuraine
undefined
While trying to write a poem, called "Love is a road"
Here's a rap instead, that I just wrote

Through the quiet and the thicket
where the trees grow the thickest,
Across from brewery-bars
diving deep in the midst of

Trafficking cars searching for a train
so I can rest in peace
Defying my language as I
redefine my speech

The crowd before the storm
calm before the scream
I'm high once again
putting some ground beneath my feet

Back to what I'm after
the howl and the screeeech!
Across the square
down from Austin street

I look at audio
like it's Gold
Be sure and take a picture
see you after the show

Hear that train whale
and hold you both close
You and me forever in stitches
laughing as it blows

"Love is a Road"
that's what I'm told
Take the highway fast
or less traveled slow and low

Before I have a brain aneurysm
and my body strokes
The microphone seizes up
and I start to choke

I look around and I see so many
people without a home (no where to go)
Sleeping just down the street from folks
with money to blow

But hey, I should stop talking
cause I don't know
What it's like to have ****..
i've always been broke
i don't know what this is right now, but I like some of the visuals
... So I'll hang on to it till I can make something
 Feb 2018 Azuraine
md
Untitled
 Feb 2018 Azuraine
md
In a four wall room
She feel so small
She feel out of place
Cant walk alone inside and roam

Everytime she's alone
Sitting and prentending is all she can do
She sits like no one's there
Pretending that she is okay

Her mind overthinks oftenly
slowly being eaten by all her insecurities
Insecurities that she is so small
And compare to others that she is too low
 Dec 2017 Azuraine
undefined
She pasted memories, to look back on later,
to little scraps of colored paper.
Placed in a book, wrapped up in ribbon,
laid on the shelve in plain sight hidden.

Photos of family, and picture show stubs,
all the little things that reminded her of
  the times before we all were grown.
  In that big empty house, it didn't feel so alone
     with those neatly arranged, to smile at later,
      carefully laid tinny scraps  of colored paper .


Every page told a story of her life,
years that sometimes escaped her mind.
Children, grandchildren, all were there,
when she forgot a name, she'd sit and stare.
  Her mind, she knew, was almost gone,
  but with that little scrap book, life would go on...
    
   ...In those pages of places, people and times,
       she placed each little note on every line...
  
    ...In collections of impressions to recall again later,
        carefully kept new  on colored paper .


I'm sorry to say, I only found it later,
those photos of the life that made her.
Past down to my sister for safe keeping,
I saw her looking through it, quietly weeping.

  I guess those times now, are all but gone.
  Grandma kept a scrapbook, like I write songs...

   ...They're just memories, to sing again later,
      like little bits of life    on colored paper  .
This was another Song Assignment that I received at a Singer/Songwriter Group that I enjoy... The assignment was to write a song about "Colored Paper."
 Dec 2017 Azuraine
undefined
I sat down today to write you a letter
I wanted to explain how I'm never better

Since you went away, my whole life has changed
I miss seeing your face. Do ya ever hear me calling out your name?
Ever since we lost that day, I've never been better

...Can't stop the way I get so sad
over silly little things, like how you'd call me "Dad"

I write songs and play, and things are coming along okay
but it haunts my night and day, and I'm never better

I hate to go on this way
So I picked up my guitar to play
and tell myself the truth, that I'm never [ever, ever, ever] better

My heart is an open wound
that bleeds ink from pen to page

I'm writing this tune
hoping you'll hear it someday

It may not explain all that I have to say
Just know that since you've been away... I'm never better




I sat down today
                              to write you a letter .
 Apr 2016 Azuraine
Simpleton
Your love feels like teeth
Like tight hugs
Squeezed ribs
Like a heavy chain around my neck

You unhook my spine
And undo my hips
Unseat my shoulder bones
And realign my lips

Your love is a possessive grip
Purple skin
Falling stars, droopy eyes
A stomach full of butterflies
 Apr 2016 Azuraine
Micheal Wolf
He always feared he would be never enough
If he lay beside her in fear of love

Always believing one day she would have gone
Into the arms of another who offered her more

All that he thought and all that was there
were nothing but dreams of a life with her

Entangled lives with tremulous pasts interlaced in a web of lust

But lust is fleeting and isn't love
And dreams were all it ever was
Observations on two people 2013
 Jun 2015 Azuraine
Micheal Wolf
Broken glass and tightrope walks
Whispers in my own home
Trying to keep out of the way
Fear an explosion each and every day

The way things ended up
Have no resemblances of love
Living a lie is like being dead
Who said zombies don't exist

So if this is you and you see yourself
Living alone with someone else
Existing isn't a life
As each day you die more inside

Take the reigns and make a stand!
Cut the rope and smash the ice
Go outside and scream so loud
Let the world know your back

Find the you, you lost or hid
I promise you, you can, you will
Live and love and don't exist
Be the you that we all missed.
 Dec 2014 Azuraine
undefined
I drag a razor slowly across the face of this old man
as he tells me a story of youth and wasted times back when.
How he once stayed in 700 dollar hotels
and once performed on stage
He once had a family he loved and was religious in his faith.
he hesitates to tell me of
the worse parts of fate

But there's no need for words when I can read it all in his face.
divorce, deaths, explosions, deceit
******, vengeance, drugs and jail and violence and hate
all realized now, too old for mistakes
He raises an eye brow and says
"I've joined the working class again
I got a job at the restaurant down the street"
I'm glad for him I say
but wonder just how long it will last.

"I want to keep from killing myself and find something useful to do"
I tell him that we're done shaving his beard from his face now,
but he should maybe get a hair-cut as well.
He tells me, "maybe later..." He kind of likes it long,
"People don't bother with me very much at all.”
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