i can't remember the last time i cried
i just recall crying way too much
so much, that i'd stay days red eyed
some days, hysterical, without his touch.

pathetic is what my ego would call me
for i was nothing without a man
embarrassed is what i'd feel because, i too could see,
i was nothing without this man.

i had a dream of myself: lost, my body: bare.
i had a dream about me in the shadow
truth be told, that dream was a nightmare
but i was just too weak, too naive, to even think so.

then i had a dream that i wasn't alone
this dream was of him and I
truth be told, if my heart was made of stone
i'd tell him, when i woke from that dream, i cried.

i can't remember the last time i was sad
i just recall being way too depressed
but now when night comes and i lay down my head,
i dream of myself: happy, solus, and yet, still undressed.

how could i not take a bite into you?
with a presence like yours, so inviting.
i am in a garden filled with the sweetest fruit,
yet, why is it only you that i'm wanting?
your tainted juice drips down my finger tips,
the taste of guilt on my tongue still remains
and so does the sin that manifests within my soul,
and yet, i bite into you again.

i am a liar.

his hands feel warm and gentle.
his heart beats steadily.
his breathing is forever even.
his eyes are ocean calm.
his lips are soft...or are they rough?

love makes me faint.
it feels heavy on my shoulders.