she kept dreaming
of him breaking
nightmares plaguing
wake up shaking

****** body on red pavement
or holes in the wall
frustration dwelling anger burning
all ended with a call

him saying "i need you"
wishing her to be there
but she never showed up
he'd hang up with "you don't care"

she heard all of it
through a broken voice
but in each dream she couldn't move
she would if it were her choice

she just sat and pictured him alone
where she should be by his side
over and over letting him down
her presence she did not provide

s.s

he taught me
how to love myself
on every day i did not
i hated everything
about my self
yet self love he still brought

i used to flinch
when his hand touched my skin
i'd stay still holding my breath
while ******* my stomach in

i'd look away
down at the ground
despised my body
that seemed to round

i'd never rest
my weight on him
afraid to crush his bones
since a saw myself far from thin

but he held me close
against his skin
said i was beautiful
with a reassuring grin

not a day goes by
that he doesn't make sure
i know my self-loathing
is utterly obscure

so now i see beauty
in plain brown eyes
and see something lovely
in big stretch marked thighs

although i dont love it
i don't hate every inch
thanks to him and his effort
i don't see it and flinch

he taught me
how to love myself
and now i think i do
i hated everything
about my self
but he has helped fix this view

s.s

We sculpt clay into the things
we cannot force our bodies into
we string the alphabet
into stories we are afraid to live
we paint with colors we cannot see
and we ignore the music
inside the beat of our hearts

as we forget what it means to live
we muse on what was
once beautiful about being alive
and forget our thoughts
as we stare emptily to the sky

and the night swallows the day
and the day murders the night
and prayers become graveyards
for dead gods
and our beds become coffins
for dreams

round and round the clay
of the earth spins
and slips through our fingers
as time is something we waste
and our reflection
is a ghost of once was
and what could be

if we could only remember
who we were before
we became prisoners inside
our own minds and found shame
in the shape of our flesh

before we needed the alphabet
to speak of love
and metaphors to hide behind
and fairy tales to mend our wounds

back when the music
inside the beat of our hearts
was all we needed
to know that we were beautiful

She asked me to write her
a poem
for Christmas
and so while I sit here
waiting for the car to warm up
I look at all the sets of
footprints in the snow
all going in different directions
going to different locations
some out of religious obligation
some out of unconditional love
and all I really know is that
I don't care where I go
as long as my footsteps in the snow
get to be alongside hers
from now until eternity

It's warm, and happy, and it's so bright
It makes you feel with your whole body
and brings only the light

When it's there you feel happy, young, and brand new
you want it to last forever, but even forever is too soon
It's this intense feeling that you never ever knew
and it's shown through people, wanting to spoon

And everyone around you has it and everything is so great
you're so happy for them , they've all taken the bait

Because now they're all ready to feed into lies
and they'll **** and they'll ****** till everyone dies
they'll watch as the blood drip drip drips out their eyes
like tears, but heavier, and filled with their crimes                              

But don't worry, this is what they wanted, and this is what they deserve
they left you there to rot and didn't care about your serve
So why does it hurt so bad, watching them all fall apart?
Like dominoes, stacked together, that were not ready to part              
                                              ­                                      

I don't understand this awful feeling, deep in my chest
Why am i hurting, when I wanted this?

And i know now, but by now it's too late
I'M the one, that fed them the bait
They were all so happy, and everything was so fine
but i couldn't stand to see all of them shine                            
                               ­                             
So instead I let the devil fill me with hate
and thus let my jealousy put my heart through the stake.

I am both flames and snowflakes.


I'll explode into sparks then I'll calm down like the falling snow.  

I will challenge your comfort zone, but I'll fight to stay in mine.  

I will feel fire in my heart when I am passionate or angry,

I will feel a blizzard when I am curious or afraid.

I will always rise, even if I fall.

I will roar louder than the mighty lion or slither quieter than the sly snake.

I will forgive without thought, or I will wear revenge with grace.

I will become completely attached to you, or leave without thought.

I will tear my barriers apart or build garden gates.

I will be bold, or I will never speak.

I will authentically be myself, or what I need to become.



I am simple, I depend on you.

The whispers of early morning
carry the love of my heart,
upon the soft breeze of dawn
to my one and only sweetheart.
                    In the sky of shadowed blue
                      through the white clouds above,
                         my soul sings out to you
                           in a melody of sweet love.
In the warmth of the sun
when its rays are high and bright,
my heart sings out to you
through the beauty of love and light.
                     In the sky of painted colors
                as the sun sets in rose and gold,
             my love sings out to you
         of a song forever told.
As the moon glows in the night sky
and the stars twinkle bright,
I sing my love to you
as a whisper through the night.
~

Strange place, strange ways, each stay away!
Then why are there two roads to take?

The maps and paths, and followed tracks.
And Google, Waze, we trust their facts.
Turn left, turn right we let it steer.
To miss a turn, we start to fear.

Across to tolls, collect control.
Like little soldiers, do as told.
Planned flights and crowds, comfort in traps.
Are we confined in our skin wraps?

Some lost, pretend to just be found.
Some found, act lost, pretty profound.
To take that step, the unprotected.
To turn towards, the unexpected.
A wasteful plan, we must forget it.
Insane repeat, and do we test it?

Misdirection, to find us love.
Misdirection, to find us trends.
Misdirection, finds ideas.
Misdirection, to find us friends.
Misdirection to free in stress.
Misdirection leaves no regrets.

Let one misdirection find you.
Let one misdirection guide you.
Let one misdirection define
And be the reason, you are you.