The numbness of old, once scabbed over scars
The ones where you went too deep,
Should've gotten stitches.
But instead you sent your hopes to the stars
For them alone to keep,
But they don't listen.
Medicine and serotonin
All that seems to matter in the grand scheme
Aggravation and empty promises
Let me not fall back into that bottomless ravine
They say when you wake up with a start
(Like you fell from a cliff and hit the ground,)
They say that's your soul, another part
Of you that died without a sound.
Our love is ravenous and consuming us alive
I hope in the end we make it out side by side
I grind my teeth and bite my tongue
Say not the ways my mind has come undone
For your safety I keep myself around
For our sanity we love each other unbound
Should you choose to turn around
And walk the other way;
My heart will beat its last for you.
First loves never really count-
But the last one, I hope it never fades,
The last one, I hope is you.

I'm just a girl who writes, then and there,
If you put a pen in front of her.
If you pulled the plug from her,
Unwind and fade away,
There she goes again.
Where's the new sentence?
Where's the new presence?
It never changes and I thought
all that was constant was change.
How many brain cells does it take
To change your mind?
Don't be scared of your fear anymore.
This time embrace the fact
That words can't always rhyme and
We don't always have enough time.
My mother was bohemian
She was more than the world could handle.
In 50 years it had torn her to shreds
She had me to be her medium.
And in this world, we all crumble,
From stardust we were built and to stardust
We shall return.
Use your soul for purity,
And let your ashes become anew.

The grass looks more green
After thinking about my dead brother.
I miss him more than usual today.
The wind feels more serene
After thinking about my dead mother.
I know she's better off today.

I am a hurricane of extremes
I love with all that I am capable of
And fear with all I know.
I trust humans with a knife to my back
But death is dishonest, death is the undertow.

I rubbed my mother's ashes on my forehead
Like the ashes from palm branches.
"Remember that you are dust,
And to dust you shall return."

Don't be afraid of the dark
Be afraid of what lies in your heart
Don't fear the monsters under your bed
Fear the monsters in your head
A child's rhymes
Have no sense of time
Until they run out of theirs
And they're taking their last breath of air
There is no softer lullaby
Than a father's goodbye
No sweeter song
Than a mother's bond
Until you die
We begin again
Unformatted, untitled
Until we come alive
We become again
Unknown, unbridled

There's a lot more to the world
Than what meets the eye
Physical intimacy laced with
Eradicating emotion
There's no time in the universe
In which peace can be acquired
The day the earth stands still
Is the day we know what comes next
In a memory flashing by your mind
Just sputtering through the motions
But suddenly you're caught in derealization
And you can hear her voice again
Clear as wedding bells
A young girl reading sermons
To a man passed out drunk, and the woman who made him that way
I was just 4 when I first tasted beer
And I vomited all over myself
I was just 8 when I first tasted liquor
And I don't remember much else
Chicken wings with candles
And the songs my mother used to sing to me
The way she'd crawl in bed with me
In times of drunken solitude
Ungrateful **** of a daughter
Who should've been aborted,
Well I tried, mama, I tried
Now that you're gone and you are nothing more than ashen memories
I look at you in your black box prison
With your name pasted to the front
And I tell you all the ways I have already died
I tell you all the ways I don't feel alive.
The way you screamed for help at the top of the stairs
And he's shoving he's pushing and you can't run
And I'm still here
And I'm still here fighting him away
He says he can't sleep in beds without you anymore
And coming home from 2nd grade
Police badges light up the front porch
And they're shoving you they're pushing and you can't run
And you're in handcuffs
And his arm is bleeding
the young man told me I was not alone
And falling apart on your floor
At a ripe 5 years old
And I'm crying I'm sobbing and you don't care
And I scream
And you don't love me anymore
The piano goes quiet
And after grandpa died
she took all his medicine
Muscle relaxers and pain killers and the daily *****
And anger
And she screamed at the walls she called god
For taking her children away
It was her all along
I do not hold grudges
But it took you dying for me to hold that promise
It took you dying for forgiveness
The family shuns me like how they did you
Black sheep we are
Your ashes lay on the table beside my bed
With fake vanilla candles that light up all kinds of colors
And I tell you all the ways I have already died
I tell you all the ways that I do not feel alive.

The color blue is all I know now
Your bruised irises leading to your
Tightly wound heart strings
There is music inside your laughter
There are artworks in your smile
I fall asleep on the softness of your lips
I forget trauma in the wake of euphoria
My angels' hymns are all about
Knowing you
Feeling you
I am so elated to have met you
The color blue is my favorite now
Your halo shines like a light through
Stormy dusk and evening tempests
There is no dawn like your "good morning"s
There are no ways to eclipse your "I love you"s
I lay my bones before you
I read the lines in between you and I
My poetry is the way I hold on to you at night
Dreams of you
asleep or awake
Are the best I have ever known

The winter solstice went as soon as it came
With startled stunned eyes it raced back to its corner
When you came into my life
And the sun hasn't stopped shining since.
There are sixty-five hundred ways one can say the same thing
And I'd happily say them all
Every language and every day
I would learn it all for you
History repeats itself in meaningful ways
But in the priceless moment of change
There is absolute harmony
You and I are two collisions in perspectives that
Mingle together like reeds in the sea
The once bitter taste of dawn has turned to
Sweet- reality is better now than I can dream
I want my atoms to know yours better than themselves
And in my words there will be no end
As infinity knows time I will know your pain
Soft as a ravens feather I will brush it away
With a smile solely for you