No name. No face.
Living in such a lonely place.

My skin
isn't fitting
anymore.
I wear it like a hand-me-down dress,
resentful of the way it
scratches itches pinches pulls pokes chokes
me.
It's tailored to fit someone else.
The person I used to be
but not this new me.
When I try to reach
I can feel it tear
with no point in trying to
repair it,
it doesn't fit me
keep me warm or
protect me.
I'm desperately fighting the urge
to rip it off with
nails teeth sheer will
ANYTHING
so I can free my rib cage and
inflate my lungs without restraint.
But as I examine the fabric
I realize I don't know what's
underneath.
What if I'm bare?
Nothing to hide behind or blame,
only my goose-bumped self
to stand before all eyes,
vulnerable?
Is freedom worth exposure?
The seams seem to grow tighter
as I contemplate,
"This is it.
I cannot wait."
**tear

I'll come to you on bended knee
Asking you to marry me
In my front pocket will be the ring
While from behind the choir will sing

Then to you I'll hold out my hand
Taking yours into it and
Slipping on your finger the golden band
Committing my love for you to always last

We'll find a cottage by the sea
Where our love will never leave
As it blooms into a family
Where all we'll have is all we'll need

As our love grows from young to old
We'll sit back to its stories told
With the fact there's still more to know
As our love continues to grow

And all because of this bended knee
When I asked you to marry me
Where my front pocket held the marriage ring
While from behind the choir did sing

My demons haven't been kind to me again.
They wake me up after 5am
And play me the fool.
I can see you kissing another man.
And my heart rips in two.
Because I wasn't good enough.

And I end up crying myself to tears.
For stupid reasons I can't control.
Only because I am vulnerable.
I just feel that I've pushed you away.
With my clingy ways and fears.
I just loved the days
We spent together.
Is that a crime?
I dont want it to go away.
Please dont go astray....

Am i being obsessed?
Or do I care so much
That im losing my ******* mind.
Are these feelings valid?
Or am I kidding myself.
And killing time with sorrow.
I guess some things never change.
Them before me. Her before me.
Whatever makes their day.
Im probably better off alone.
"Love yourself" they always say.
Love yourself, fight another day.

And I end up crying myself to tears.
For stupid reasons I can't control.
Only because I am vulnerable.
I just feel that I've pushed you away.
With my clingy ways and fears.
I just loved the days
We spent together.
Is that a crime?
I dont want it to go away.
Please dont go astray....

I love you.
Please...
Dont go astray....

Let us take a waltz around the rings of Saturn,
without making a sound as our feet follow the pattern.
Let us sway and forever spin
every day in the solar wind.
Baby don't ever wake up from these fondest dreams
where we needn't make up, for everything is as it seems.
Let us never return to the dead-pet freezers and the bleeding,
haven't we yet earned our right to be together without pleading?


Baby there's a cafe on the moon
and we better get there soon
because I'm dying here on Earth
and a trip to Jupiter isn't what we're worth.

Because that place is a heap,
and the coffee there is the worst.

Maybe if I cut myself
Or made myself prettier and thinner
Then you would love me,
Not leave me all alone.

Maybe if I made that jump
Or made myself in your image
Then I would finally be good enough
And not an outcast.

Maybe if I cut myself
Or made myself prettier and thinner
Then you would finally love me
And I wouldn't be the shameful daughter.