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I want to get so drunk I forget my own name.
The problem is, I think I'd still remember yours.
I've done everything I can to forget you except forget you,
and I don't think it's ever going to work.
11:09pm
9/6/2015

sigh
I wish we met when her tarmac road was still mellow
Then when she still danced to the Congolese tune "Mbelo",
I wish we met when she could not stare in the eyes
Right when she was too shy to tell any lies,
I wish we met when she was still under her Mama's apron strings
So innocent, when she still trusted human beings,
I wish we met when she did church each and every Sunday
And had no thought of bearing a guilty conscience someday,
I wish we met when she saw the world for her best, not her worst
When the balloon of her ***** wasn't yet burst,
I wish we met when her future was still blinding bright
Wish I'd seen her in the dawns of her life, not the nights
When she knew no whiskeys or beers but only Fanta and Sprite
So that she wouldn't get herself in trouble and drunken fights,
I wish we met when she still had dry “unkisssed’’ lips
When she thought kisses were an unhealthy swap of saliva,
I wish we met when she hadn't developed attractive hips
When she wasn't a depressed Heart-wreck survivor,
I wish we met when she still believed in fantasy and fairy tales
And had a honest fascination for cowry shells,
I wish we met when she flamboyantly wore her natural African hair
When she still thought herself naturally beautiful and fair,
I wish we met when studies hadn't corrupted her mind and stolen all her hours
When she still smiled at the sight of frail petals of red rose flowers,
Wish we met when the movie title that described her ******* isn't “Olympus
Has Fallen”
But probably “Hard Boiled”, “Only the Strong” or “Swollen”,
I wish we met when she had faith in things like weddings, when her soul was
a spring of hope
When she hadn't lost respect for such societal norms preferring to elope,
I wish we met when she still respected danger
And risked not accepting courtesy from every rich stranger,
I wish we met when she believed true love existed in the world
Maybe then she'd believe my each and every word,
I wish we met when she still honestly needed a friend
I’m sure I’d be there to love and care for her till the end.
I remember after the first time you kissed me you said that you had been wanting to do that for a while.

I wonder if you thought the same thing when you left me.
 Sep 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
Amanda
I miss you most
when I'm lying in bed
and I roll over
to find you
anywhere
but next to me.

My arms are empty,
but my heart
is so full.

I see you
when I close my eyes
and in
the corners of my mind
but it has been
quite a while
since I have seen you
in front of me
and been able
to touch you,
to feel you,
to hold you.

I want to memorize
the look in your eyes
when you're happiest
and kiss your tears away
when you cry.
And I want to see
the anger in your face
when you're mad at me
so I can let you be,
and then laugh
and tell you to
come here, baby,
come and
let me hold you.

Just let me look at you
so I can forever remember
the sparkle in your eyes
and the gentle curl
of that smile
that keeps me
always, always, always
coming back.

**I am constantly missing you
but I suppose I always will.
 Sep 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
thymos
i give chase with reckless abandon.
it's the thrill and the gamble.
it's the eyes that
pierce through and through
that tell me: "come closer,
this will destroy you."
 Sep 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
nivek
the only mastery when young was
to smell the earth, flowers and trees
be as one with birds, lizards and foxes
the angst of teenage years to travel
-alone within a hormonial nightmare
nightmare everyone experienced
and a road all were travelling, even
yes especially all parental, peers
and uncles and aunties, controlling
their own sexuality, and failing so often
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