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  Apr 2021 Just Another Flower
Simon
The lamp is now representing itself in the absence of being semi-peaceful. While having the inner-struggle in just simply trying it's best to get by....
After this very truest representation had sold itself to the highest bidder (being its own inner weakness giving into the symptom, that is "giving up"), without so much as a single plausible (enough) explanation...
Things don't become tolerated (very well), anymore.
After all, it's up to the standards of one's own grief to now simplify the very behavior (in their own sequence, after sequence, after even more sequences that have sheer luck tied to them without hesitation for utter pleasurable shame for the results that clutter the very cog in the wheel) that gives freedom in the disguise for wonder. Wonder...that isn't including its own freedom, as that's just another common (filled) sense illusion, now.
It's the very scenario that agrees that it hast to become free...in order to see its own self for what it had become....
Meaningfully speaking, everything up to this very point in time...comes with an arresting degree for silencing the inner willpower of an inner voice that can't (safely, very well) reach for the outside world (and even remotely reach out into the outside world, like...AT ALL...)! And simply express (for the life of itself), its own symptom. Not only a symptom (or two...) But more the very part as to how, or why, or what essentially became of itself...when it started feeling this particular (and more peculiar way...), where it doesn't know how to handle itself, anymore (in that very dire moment for shameful results). Especially the guilt trip that it starts to feel (all the sudden), when it begins feebling itself over such hesitating tip-toeing maneuvering. But what comes (next, anyhow) with so much as a single surprise...is that there's always a certain something, (or certain someone) truly waiting for you on the other side of a spectrum (where you have yet to truly notice in ALL such forming varieties upon the certain specified number of emotions bleeding itself DRY for the appreciation of finding a solution too it's current problem....)
Once you understand this...or more like correcting the wrongs (that had up to this very moment in time, had made you this spiraling short-circuited piece of machinery, or justful faulty technological prowess...) Gives you the very nurturing desire to bid farewell to your own inner strength. Just so you can now have the very pleasure of now purging past this unknown barrier on the other side of this spectrum that has this very certain (someone) waiting for you...that will then of course, give you that single, (when you least expect it...) RESTART! That had been in an orderly fashion ever since the very beginning (when you first started first experiencing this symptom in the first place). A trapped scenario full of crippling sequences of events!
Descriptions, or even visuals are lost...without defining what a lost light (who's very brightness is increasingly going dim), doesn't even have the very means (as of yet) to truly become recognizable of the ("notice of things"), for simply "why" it's becoming this very way, in the first place...?
On and off, on and off
It lets out a dusty cough
Old and rusted
Been long since it was dusted
Working all night
It produces light
You're using it to its delight
You used to type on that light box
It's been long since you used him
Yet he refuses to grow dim
It sparks in delight
It won’t give up to this new fight
It shines bright tonight
~20/4/21
If everybody was perfect,
Nobody would be perfect.
Drowning in my fears,
Hoping I could hide them.

Fruitless days and sleepless nights,
Where did it all go wrong?
Recently got diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I've been trying my best not to give up but things never seem to work out...
Green twisted in bone
Moss growing on stone
The forest floor overgrown
Tree's groan and moan
A predator on its own
It makes its presence known
Its scars are clear and shown
Letting out a long howl
It continues its prowl
With a low growl
Overhead warns an owl
On this quiet night
The moon shines bright
Watching the fight
Blood shining in the light
~18/4/21
Honey so sweet
A truly tasty treat
A sweetness so complete
No one can beat
Syrupy and yellow
A dandy fellow
Tastes good on toast
I love honey the most
~17/4/21
Silence can be comforting
Silence can be calming
Silence can be harming
Silence can be deathly
Silence can be stealthy
In this silence, you can leave me
You can break me
Drown me in this silent sea
This silence is killing me
This silence is chaining me down
Leaving me to drown
While I wish to be free
In this silent sea
~15/4/21
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