i have been living off of
black coffee and celery
for the past 4 days and
i want to blame it all on
the fact that i'm young
and stupid and i will do
almost anything to like
myself again.

i can grow out of this,
right?

It's 3am and I'm fighting back the memories of you.
But you're breaking through all of my defences.
I just need to feel your touch one last time.
I might be greedy but I miss the nights you were mine.
Darling please.
Why did you leave like that.
Whispers in the hallways saying you would love to have me back....
But nothing.
No phone calls.
No messages.
No letters.
It's 3am and the only way you're with me right now is because my memory can't seem to erase any moment of when we were together.

Today I told a doctor that time heals all wounds
he said no that’s aspirin
and if  you have have allergies
you’ll need epinephrine

Today I told a priest that time heals all wounds
he said no that’s God
also prayer and hope wouldn’t hurt
if I was no fraud

Today I told a psychic that time heals all wounds
he said to get a reading and I’d be fine
and he’d throw in a magic ball
for only $9.99!

Today I told myself that time heals all wounds
as I looked in the mirror staring my body down
It better I whispered
because in this pain I soon will drown

Should I close my eyes and never wake,
sleep forever
would you take a vow of chastity
remember me
could you wait out eternity
hold back emotionally?
honestly
I wouldn't want you to
go through life alone.
I'd like you to
meet someone new
someone who
will make you
smile again and
forget the pain.
If I am gone
remember me but life
goes on.

and i stopped smoking shortly after i met him
i stopped, because he didn't
and even though it felt so good inhaling the smoke he blew in-between
my lips
it just still didn't make up for the fact that i was slowly watching
the one i adored **** himself
and i don't know if he cares or not but it felt so horrible
knowing that now. and now. and now.
he shortens his life by what seems to be an eternity
and i guess i never realised this when my own lungs were at risk
but you
don't you dare die on me