In a “wise passiveness“ I sit
Able to conquer any fit.
Wounded is my melancholy
When he meets his deft enemies
My Serenity, and Spirit

My favorite escape
Just wanna recap
It’s sunday sunshine
Little trouble in my ryhme
I don’t care
I just completed the dare
Offcourse it was hard and rare
Sitting on that chair
My feat can feel the ground
And I can smell the air
Got my chilled beer
I’ve got someone to share
Because I do care
We are God’s blessed pair
I’m not scare
To fell from these stair
Somewhere my soul is unaware
But I kept those invisible tear
May be the only way the source of my power
Doesn’t look so unfair
And for now
I hold up
Lay down on that chair
Underneath your long hair
My eyes are heavily blink here
I think I am somewhere.

Pulled and twisted a million different ways
Who are you to tell me how to live my days?
I answer to one person and one person alone
I answer to GOD who sits on the throne!

So take away your judgements and your reprimands
No one gave you control over me or my life again
You can choose to love me, for who I really am
Or I will move on to people who  can.

For I will be myself and LOVE all that I can
Learn from the past and praise the I AM

Eulogy for Justin Bradley, Age 22 who committed suicide 2/28/19

My Sweet Boy

You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul.

You had so many friends, but still felt alone.
Your friends were everything,….But which one to text, from your seven phones???

Great Falls, DC, Road trips, Museums, Golf, or Gold Cup
You were always … I’m down dude, just hit me up.

You lived for cheese pretzels, chicken nuggets, Chipotle, Mac and cheese or JUST turkey bacon….
Why were you taken?

You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul.

Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Supreme,
Who needs to spend big bucks?
When you can get it from China, even though the quality *****.

You flew, flipped and twisted,
Off buildings with no fear
Luckily you found an outlet in cheer.

You had a curiosity and intellect beyond your years.
But how the hell did you become a Republican?
For that… we will give you a mulligan.

You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul.

You were struggling to make sense
Trying to figure out YOU.
We tried to reach out.
We tried to break through.

So, my message to parents and to young adults who choose to be,
Giving love and hugs every day, should be your reality.

Their room may be messy, their hair uncombed,
the recycling not taken, and clothes on the floor.
But don’t jump on them the minute they walk through the door.

Depression is a disease not to be dismissed.
Get help for your child.
Try to assist.

Remember to celebrate their brightness and light.
And take a moment to enjoy these gifts, each and every night.

You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul.

So go to that ultra festival in the sky
And As you flip over those Pearly Gates, we wave good bye.

I love you Justin and I will miss you forever.

my words mean nothing to you,
do they?
all you want are the raw images of
lacy curves and hairless thighs,
the sound of my breathing and the way
my name sounds so good rolling off
your tongue.
it's as if when i say "hello"
all you hear is "ready, set, go"
my words mean nothing to you,
do they?

my chest is a black hole that takes the air I breath from my lungs,
quickly imploding in on itself.
the molecules of my cells wanted to get out of this black pit of anxiousness, but the gravity was too strong to escape
the overwhelming matter

my heart is a jackhammer that palpitates adrenaline-filled blood through the highways of my vessels,
as if one wrong turn would cause the vehicles of blood cells to collide with the walls of my arteries and veins 'til it ruptures.

my mind is a tornado formed by the hot and cold air of
worst-case-scenarios that ***** in whatever is left from the village of my sanity, leaving behind destruction and remnants of mental strain.

my muscles are ropes in a game of tug-of-war between opposing teams of stress and anxiety that tenses up the fibers of my being, causing burns across the length of back and leaving me unable to move,
until the only thing left it can do
is reach a breaking point that creates tassels of exhaustion

Oh, God. Please give me rest.