I have seen him
inside and out
Scanning every being around him,
pacing nervously and cracking a joke to lighten the mood.
But he posseses fire
Lifting him upwards
He can tear the pages of heaven
and I have seen his eyes,
filled with desire,
they are brown with a streak of fire

I could destroy the whole and blow the ashes on your face while we look at the stars.
I could pick up every broken piece and throw it back to you to remind of us.
I could call the executioner and tell him to knock your guts out.
I could set fire to a forest but you'd sing as the leaves disappeared.
I could drown our love in River Styx and maybe it would come back stronger.
You make me whimper with pain
so now I join the broken pieces of the universe forming your name.

I envy the stars,
For they can go
Billions of years
Before forgetting how to shine
And I could barely go ten.
I was that age when,
The lights behind my eyes
And the lights all around me
Seemed to go dim,
Never again to mirror the sun.

A,
I have never been a fan of letters.
I rewrote this multiple times.
but here it goes..
would you listen to me if I sang the same words to you in different melodies
or different words in the same melody?
would you giggle everytime I hold your hand?
or sing my favourite songs with me?
I'm thinking about you while writing this, you are in my thoughts.
you're a wonderful person amongst many other things
look at you now, scaling heights,conquering peaks.
isn't all of this fun?



I have forgotten what happened between us.
It's weird,
Two years have gone so fast.
I am better now. More versatile,angry and intuitive.
I restrict myself from feeling emotions.
I am try to make myself better every moment.
I have been self harm free for a year.
Sometimes, I sing.
I am strumming random chords in my head.
I listen to a German band now.
I have a crush on a Norwegian chess player
That's all about me, how have you been doing?
Did you get to visit the places you wanted to? Did you get any pets?
You're turning eighteen in May! That's awesome!
I am happy for you.

With rage and love,
J

It's so lovely to know that I haven't pressed the blade to my skin in a year.