The smoke fills my lungs.
The drug took me high and flung.
Sky high now.
I don't want to come down.
But quickly crash.
Down down down.

My face glows.
My hair flies when the wind blows.
I had a dream again.
The one before her and I had our end.
Back when she still loves me.
Back when we were like family.
Her dark brown hair.
Mysterious eyes.
Why even think of her?
Every time I do a little bit of me dies.
Now I dry my eyes.
She hates everything I do.
The ones who I haven't ****** up are few.
She hates my guts.
Hated the fact that I was in a depressed rut.
******* Chae.
Why do I think of you every day?
I can't even hate you.
what did u do.

Thoughtlessly I wander.
Wander back and fourth.
Here I sit and ponder.
What if I never was here?
Let go of a tear.
What if I just stepped away.
Never stepped into the light of about her day?
I wonder who would be sad.
Or on the contrary who would be glad.
Dad wouldn't mind.
Mom wouldn't be far behind.
I know it would crush many.
Put smiles on some.
When I'm done I'm done.

Such a sweet little girl.
How her hair falls into little twirls.
Spending hours each morning molding her body into perfection.
She isn't her reflection.
With my desperation to save her.
I no longer was my fathers daughter.
Hope u appreciate it.
Yeah stupid *****.
Can't believe I called you my sister.

Well honey today you hit your head hard.
You had nothing to say.
Completely forgot about what we did today.
That's okay though baby.
We can make more memories.
Here's a little sum it up for you.
We walked like we do.
From my school to yours.
I had to turn around because I couldn't go anymore.
Too close to the past.
It was too soon too fast.
Well baby just know.
I love you so.

The dark is when I can write.
Words work onto my pages during the night.
I can express the emptiness I feel.
It's the only way I recall on how to deal.
Deal with the pain from past lovers.
Deal with the hate from almost step mothers.
Even I'm not invited to my fathers wedding.
**** it, not like I wanted to see him give her a ring.
She said I must wear heels and a dress.
Smile act a bit impressed.
Well mummy oh my,
How the time flew by.
You really don't know me.
I wouldn't lay a finger on a dress you see.
And love if my girlfriend won't be allowed to accompany me,
I am not sorry to say I'm uninterested in your stupid wedding.
Your homophobic lies.
Look at you bat you beautiful eyes.
Honey it is a sin.
God knows you'll find out when...
When what???
When I burn in hell? You ****?
What is God going to do?
He's more accepting that you.
I go to church twice a week say prays every night.
But still according to you I'm doing nothing right.
I'm an abomination to the holy lord.
Wish you could hit my girlfriend with your ford?
Lay a finger on her you can go through me.
So please excuse me.
No I will not go to your no homos allowed ******* wedding.
Who gives a rats *** if your marrying my father.
He sure as hell never treated me like his daughter.
So why even bother.

I become so numb,
I can't feel you there,
I become so tired so much more aware,
Striving to please you,
Mistakes in everything I do.
I know i may end up failing to,
But I know u were just like me with someone disappointed in you.
Breath my angel.
Don't cry my love.
Your safe here.