shoot to the moon
but be gentle
with it
why is it...  
that I was constantly
counting on the stars
and you..  
you spent most
of your time praying
when every inch
of your body
was so majestically ...
creative
that you were
reigning my thoughts
at some point
the storm was unbearable
I..  
I hate when
my heartbeat
turns into tears
and my body
can't help but
to pool the very essence
of your memories
to flow right beneath
my skin...  
I pray
for the day
when my lips
can express the words
I love you
and my heart doesn't
have to mean it
the day when
you're no longer
an extension of myself
when finally I find
that I am brave enough
to purge myself
of your memories

-Thembekile Kilay deh'poet Tsaoane

it smelt of cough syrup and cinnamon
when it came to visit in the dark hours that followed the chime of the grandfather clock
the scent lingered on every article of clothing he once had his fingers on
and crept under her nose as she lay there on her side
eyes open, hands steady
and she swore that she could almost feel it under her skin when she outstretched her arms like a bird
the scent turned into a feeling that stayed for 47 days
each morning morphing into a night, each night a new beginning
each beginning signaling for her arrest
held captive by the four walls that housed the scent
and every day she was reminded
there was no cure for fixing the void
except finding another to take by the hand
and using him dry until he could no longer be pushed around
each new one entering in,
another chance to touch the contents in the room
one more opportunity to leave memories and association with each item they picked up
and when they left,
she stayed in her same spot
surrounded by memories and names and faces and associations
that smelt all to similar to cough syrup
and she was knocked out.

When all is gone,
that matters now,
one last poem,
survives somehow.
And so you read,
and so it goes,
explaining this,
in rhyme or prose;
My dear sweet love,
I love you still,
with all my heart,
I always will.

Today I learned
That rocks are more likely
To break along preexisting fractures
Even if you fill the cracks
When under pressure
They fail along those same fracture lines

I think that is how heart breaks work
When your heart breaks
And leaves an empty space
You may be able to fill it in
But it doesn't take much
To open that hole again