Lets pretend we never met
That I never saw you cry
Or punch the wall as I shook and screamed
Lets pretend you are just now
Discovering the marks on my skin
That you never saw them happen
I sometimes wish you didn't know me
So well
You often say what I'm feeling
Before I even think it
I'm afraid we will curl into the comfort
Of familiarity
And once again
Wither and die together.
So treat me like a stranger
I want to be new
With you.

Strain my brain
Of pretty words for you
My dear I cant be near
Without falling into you

i wish history really did
repeat itself
because i badly
want you to happen to me
again

Dear God
Please give me the simplicity of four little letters
Carved like a love song onto my wrists
Can you see me trying and falling?
How many times can you break
Into skin so sunken that even
My own mother doesn't know
Where it breaks and
Where it bends

Good God I am here
Begging to a being
I cant convince myself to believe in
Like hopeful letters
The words fall flat
I am not who I am.