The artificial flavor of
his nicotine fix
filled the room
that we once fell
in love in -
or so he said,
but he was always
the idealist
between us

We found ourselves
in a maze
from all the
walls built,
doors slammed,
growing distance
obstructing the
views of our
tunnel vision

And I found myself
alone;
but seventeen
isn't a lifetime,
so you pack
your belongings in
a cardboard box
and label it
Fragile

Until I came back
to this room -
not out of love,
but sheer boredom -
and the contents
of my box
spilled out
as he whispered
through the vapor

"You were always in the spotlight for me."

I found you in a song,
In the rhythm of the rest of the world melting away,
In the twirl of your dress as the melody carried you to me.

I found you in a heartbeat,
In your shaking hands as you stood in front of a crowd,
In the strength of your voice despite every burning fear to silence you.

I found you in the wind,
In the high speeds down the dusty roads of the city you left behind,
In the mountains of rose as the sun set in a desert sky.

I found you in the flashing lights,
In the colors that held you like your brightest dreams that you knew would never last,
In the passion and euphoria like stars before they burnt out.

I lost you in the monotone,
In the perpetuity of tires against pavement,
In the miles that stretched out until you were worlds away.

I lost you in the silence,
In the quiet complacency of the everyday,
In my ringing ears as I clawed for something - anything - but was never satiated.

I lost you in the rain,
In the coldest summer to ever live,
In the haze of a suburb that I never wanted to see again.

I lost you in the darkness,
In the street corner lines with dim, flickering lights,
In waiting, waiting, waiting, as those lights slowly went out.

And when I reach out to touch you
You always slip from my grasp

Like a feather through the air
Sunlight spilling between my fingertips

I hear your whisper through the hallway
Then turn to find myself alone

I feel your heartbeat against my palm
Then open my eyes to find it empty

I see your silhouette in the streetlights
Then approach to find not even a ghost

You traced your fingers through this town
Like it were made of clay

Like it might have been a masterpiece
If you had just held on long enough

Now all I have left are sketches and outlines
And half-lives of what used to be

And I will never touch you again

The snow fell through your headlights
On those infinite nights -
The glow of your stereo
As we watched the stars collide.

You made your way in
As you tugged at my skin,
Your breath on my neck;
I unraveled with a sin.

You made it over with ease
The fence that scraped my knees,
But when your lighter filled the darkness
You let your mind run free.

I could finally see you through
Your smoke that filled the room.
I could taste it on your tongue,
But the flavor left so soon.

Then I was left with walls,
One way streets and empty halls,
Searching for signs of life
To find nothing at all.

Now those endless nights are over
Because you can't love me sober,
And your lighter won't change
That are beds are getting colder.