Maybe you traveled a lot,
Buy have you ever been to hell?
Or in my head?
It's kinda the same thing,

It's dark
And cold
Memories walk alone like ghost
feelings are waist like clouds in sky
Love is cracked by hate
And scars are bleeding.

Maybe one day my head will be like paradies,
But for now it's hell.

It never matters
how hard I try.
According to my loved ones and strangers,
everything I say
is a Lie.
I want to be different
so to view me as
smart and wise.
Frustrated and burned as I prove it,
giving writing many more tries.
Taken seriously on occasion.
God forbid this becomes my profession.
Trying so hard
as I hold the pen and think.
But I know for fact
the fairy tales and desired thoughts
are creative and full of art.
They belong on paper and
ink.
I may be weak, but I do what I please.
Forget the critics and the
rude who tease.
Speaking from words on paper
that were from my pen and ink.
It is where my imagination belongs.
So read it,
and think.

I hate you.

I hate you for what you did to me.

I hate you for making me write about you.

I hate you for making me love you

I love you

I love you for caring about me

I love you for filling my thoughts

I hate you for loving me

it's been  t w o  years
so i  don't  remember
any  specific  things  i
used  to  note when  i
would lie   next to you
and  find  the   perfect
metaphors   for   your
perfect  features.   the
only  stories i  have to
tell now are  the  ones
about how  i  think  of
you every  single  day
s       t       i       l       l
but  after  t w o  years
i have   finally   started
to  address   the   pain
of being    second best
and   lately,   not  even
the thought of    y  o  u
r      h  i  p  s   pressed
onto hers hurt me more
than how i feel on days
i eat,    or the  sight  of
myself      in the mirror.

she stands here
with her back against the wall
she helps me lock my door
when i'm crouched on all four

it's just a diet
keep it quiet
my problems lay in numbers
medical language wont help me here

leave it alone
i'll do this on my own
dont tell me it's dangerous
cuase i'm allready painless

**(c.m.h)

everybody feels insecure
some people
just do a better job of hiding it

**(c.m.h)

As we lie dying
the little death,
pull me close
beneath your chin
and hold me tight.
Breathe me in,
feel my heat,
wear me warm
like a well worn blanket.
I will weave you a dream
of dyed wool, desert moons
and a Paiute wind.
I'll dream us through
this long night.
Wrap yourself in me
and rest easy.
Breathe me in,
sleep in me, wear me
like you need to.
And when you awake
I'll still be here
like the desert moon
in a Paiute wind.

r 7/15/14