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I cannot be sure
That your hands
Will be able
To wipe the uncertainty from my eyes
Do not know
If your lips will taste of promise
Or let down
Wonder
If trust
Will feel complacent
In your arms
But I
Am lending myself enough room
To find out
I am
Replacing stability
With risk
Placing hope
Over experience
With the intent
That
It will word
I do not know
If the outcome
Will be
As expected
But I am willing
To take
Your word.
I don't know if you think things through
Before saying them
If you hear your thoughts
Before they exit your mouth
I don't know if you consider your words compliment
Or flattery
But noting that I am too pretty
To hide behind paper and pen
Does not feel worthy of a thank you
I have been taught
To value emotional intelligence over beauty
Value conversation over vanity
Would rather get lost in thought than in eyes
I do not choose based on appearance
And you do not get to decide
Which form of release I get to use
To rid myself of demons
I wonder if you would still find me attractive
If you saw every story buried inside of me
If you saw every line burned onto the pores of my tongue
Every tooth in my mouth that should be crooked
My pain is not beautiful
Therefore I have to find a way
To make it close to it
To make it as appealing as possible
I wonder
What kind of profession you would choose for a girl like me
Maybe waitress
Or homemaker
God forbid it's something that demands anything but smiles
If trauma had a face
Mine would be carbon copy
Would be ugly
So do not tell me
That my looks overpower my passion
That words would read meaningless coming from my lips
Your ignorance is not suited for someone like me
Someone who writes with fire in their fingers
And blood between their lips
You are not meant for someone as deeply rooted as this
The strength of my voice does not depend
On the body it comes out of
Its worth is not determined
By beauty
And I
Am not determined
By it either.
My days
Would be so much better
If they ended
In your arms.
My mouth tastes of whiskey
When it should really taste of you.
I want my arms and legs
To know what it's like
To turn into vine
To tangle with yours admist bedsheet and skin
Want my eyes
To know
How to open up
To something other than darkness
Forget getting lost in despair
Have them get lost in yours instead
Want my shoulders
To know how it feels
To twist into something
Other than knot
To melt into smooth
Into comfort
Want my hands
To know
What warmth feels like
When it doesn't burn
Want my body
To know
How to let down its guard
How to mold from armor into flesh
From metal into cells
Back into human
Want my body
To learn to its ability
To hold on
Without fear
Of letting go
And I
Want to be able
To hold on
Without the fear
Of being let go.
It's ok.
You got here.
You are not alone.
It has been a tough day,
and you just hugged Mom and Dad good-bye.
They left,
and you stood there
as you watched kids go with
kids having the time of their lives.
Today might not be your day
for that.
Today is hard,
as you unlock your room
with small items and cement walls.
You jump up on your bed,
and look out the window.
The backyard
is filled with loud, obnoxious kids.
Today might not be your day to feel that.

You are not alone.
You may keep your interests,
you can share as you meet.
It is ok to be feeling the way you are.
As your roommate is on the phone ,
and the poster of your celebrity crush is behind you,
surely they have felt the same way
in new countries as they tour.
But you are here to stay,
you know you'll find your routine
and you'll get used to this.

College is not easy.
You'll deal with toughness and hurt.
But you are your own leader
and you'll find your good and fun.

So right now, it's still the first day.
Stop holding back the tears,
and take a deep breath.
What you are about to do
is perfectly fine and there are others doing the same.
Let it out,
and right now,
Just Cry.
It's going to be
ok.
For anyone starting off college in the fall you are going to shine and this poem is for you. :)
Don't be afraid of love
Listen to your dreams
Breathe in your happiness
Don't add regret to your memories
But learn from them if you do
Don't run from lust
Love yourself
Sink into someone's arms
Don't be scared of the feeling of never wanting to let go
Open your window when it's warm outside
Go for walks by yourself
Enjoy the bare skies
Love yourself
Take baths
Paint something even if no one will ever see it
Write your heart down in a journal
Listen to a body of water in the middle of the night
Date the jerks
Then break their hearts when you realize you deserve better
Remember that you deserve better
And for god sakes just love yourself

By Chloe Elizabeth
 Jul 2014 Alexia Côté
Xian
I choose you.
You and your stupid mood swings
your ridiculous hair
your awkward smile.

I choose you.
You and your crumpled shirts
your genuine laugh
your twinkling eyes.

I  choose you.
You and your smug face
your long fingers
your bruised knees.

I choose you.
You and your strange mind
your lame jokes
your uncanny ability to **** me off.

I choose you.
I have always chosen you.
I will always choose you.
Nothing will ever change that.
You will always be my choice.
*Even when I am not yours anymore.
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