I'm never going to be ready.
Another day or month is never going to be enough time to get ready for this.

But if I wait, I will be waiting for the rest of my life.
Or just until the summer washes away.

Okay...

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,

Please don't leave me.

But if you do...

I guess I should've tried reaching a long time ago.

But I'm here now.

...I'm here now.

No matter what happens here..

I'm not dying today.

a garden unkempt,
she took him,made an attempt.
he is more than real!

If with you there is nothing to gain,
Then you will always be my favourite kind of pain.

They ask me why I still talk to you,
Perhaps it’s because I don't truly believe we're through.

So I book another appointment,
Met with yet another disappointment.

I’d say I believe everyone deserves a second chance,
But so many later I’m not sure I’m worth a second glance.

I wish I could expel the emotions in my heart,
Whilst I remain silent, allowing myself to fall apart.

Why do I do this to myself?
When you’ve already put us on the shelf.

At times I find myself craving your pain,*
Even if there is nothing to gain.

I'm laying in bed wishing I wasn't here alone. I trim my bangs and cut my hair to feel satisfied with myself. I pray to God, to keep me with my lover.
I don't eat much and I haven't swam yet. My lover came to see me but as soon as he left, I felt guilty of myself. My failure. I entered into a panic attack and as a result, laid in bed and listened to Pink Floyd; wishing to be in his arms again.
He makes me laugh and smile. He squeezes me so hard that I feel my lungs collapse. He touches me gently as a rose. He plays with my hair and kisses it. I hear his breath near my ear and I feel in a dream. He's the lover, I don't really know but I want to create a family with him and die by his side. I think I might break without him... He just left but I barely remember how he looks. It's just the love that I have that keeps this going. I get on my knees and pour my eyes out because I want him to love me and to never leave my side because I want to be with him. I might break without you so please don't go!