If the sun set everyday
So that the moon could breathe
Then their love story
Would be a tradgedy

But what if
The sun set everyday
So that the moon could shine
And everyone could see its beauty
Just as the sun did

The
tone
of
his
voice
was
poetry
to
my
heart

I still remember the feeling
Of how heavy my arms weighed
As I curled up to the risers of the stairs
I couldn't pick myself up from
After collapsing from the news.
I remember eyes staring at me,
Unsure of how to respond
To the usually stoic and strong me
Bawling uncontrollably
And heaving sobs wracking my body.
I remember cautious hands
Lifting my shoulders
And dragging me to bed
Where I stayed for three straight days.
I remember haziness setting in
And the following days and weeks
All blending into one.

I remember all that
But I don't remember your face.
Funny, isn't it?
What gets seared into our brains,
And what we lose because for so long
We took its presence for granted
Until it was too late
To remember.

If I could
I would pack up my life
And drive across the Continent
To settle someplace new
And colder because I hate heat.

If I could
I would write poetry all day
And watch movies all night
Until I'm ready
To brave the world again.

If I could
I would join a dance class
And learn the basic
Foxtrot, waltz, and cha cha
Until I could twirl around
A ballroom
From sunrise to sunset.

If I could
I would "catch them all!"
And find the joy
In all the missed days
Of my childhood.

If I could
I would give back
All the years I took
From you.
The advice you gave
Both willingly and not.
The love we shared
Both unconditional and not.
The future I prevented
You from achieving or not.
And I'd give back
Whatever else you want.

If I could
I would...

At 10:32 at night
There isn't much I can do,
Except say to you
Goodnight.

Or maybe even,
Goodbye.

I.  
A word that defines
Only one thing
And yet covers a universe.

I
Is me,
And yet is you.

I
Is strong, stubborn, iron-willed
And yet supple, compliant, meek.

I
Is fair beauty
And yet homely.

I
Is man
And yet woman.

I
Is small
And yet...not.

I
Is me
With you.

I hate this (but not you)
This feeling of everything inside
So I bury it into the darkness I collect
But it manages to break through
And I smile when it come back

Yet I hate it (still not you)
Because I no longer know the feeling of sleep
And my eyes scream for them to close
Yet my mind doesn't answer properly
And everything feels like a tornado

Yet I still smile
And breathe
And I live with it
Because nothing will eat away at my sadness as quickly
Even though I laugh to drown out the sound
It doesn't compare

So I hate it because I don't know it
And I like it because I want to

Secrets spill from your lips
In hiccuped slurry speech
That night you learned the most important lessons
Teachers never teach

You're on the fence
But you always tumble in an empty bottle
Trapped on all four sides
Looking up at the light, legs weak and wobbly

And those lines you stood by
Those boundaries began to blur
All that you believed in
Every bridge you charred and burned

Did you find the answers
Laced within those pills?
This self medication will make you numb
To what you must rebuild

live for death, die for the try
we **** what gives us life,
to live what's killing us inside