It's loves color
it's the shade of her cheeks when she falls
not to the ground but in love
when she opens the door
he hands her a dozen roses
it's the wine she drinks
the wine she spills
it's the stain on his white shirt
it's the shade that blinds him with rage
it's loves color
it's her lipstick on date night
the night she cried harder than ever before
it's the pattern on her cheek
it matches the blood on his knuckles
it's the sweater she uses to hide
it looks like the heart she uses to live
it's loves color
she never knew sparks were that shade
it's the remains left on the bullet
it's the color of sirens, of help
it's what her skin is painted in
when she wakes confused she sees it
roses by her bedside, she cries
it was loves color

I don't remember what to call the devil
Since he moves like a tornado
And smiles as if he knows all
While his eyes tell a saddened tale
And I forget that he's the one in the wrong

I don't remember what to say to him
When he dances as if he created the movement himself
And he laughs like the world is ending
But he never offers his arm to me
And my heart beats in upset though I know it's insane

I'm not sure how can I know who to trust
When he offers me forever to be near him
And everyone else pales in comparison
But I know that he speaks a trick
Because the fingers behind his back are crossed

I don't know what to call the devil
Because I love the devil
But he'll never love me

In France everyday must be something
Going somewhere
******* someone

I'm not used to this
I'm introspective
Observing and waiting

Maybe Patrick was right
I don't make impact
But maybe that's what I want right now

It began when I skipped lunch
When snacks became meals
And food became calories
I stopped standing and began to kneel
It started with pictures on blogs
Collar bones, thigh gap, dead eyes
Worshiping goddesses who never eat
Whose smoke curls as easy as their lies

It was about being weightless
Being skinny, being happy
To wither and fold into myself
"Somebody please look at me!"
Now my eyes are heavy
I have to hug the wall to get anywhere
Colorful bruises bloom on my legs
The room's spinning, black spots everywhere

I'm like Atlas, holding up my world
With shaky hands, bloods spattering everywhere
Step by step I keep moving, it's never enough
I'm killing myself over what size clothes I wear
Two years ago I wanted this
Asking Google a list of excuses not to eat
Now I think I'm dying, looking up heart arrhythmias
Because I can't follow a single beat