there's blood drying under my nails and i can still taste the blood in my mouth
i keep scratching and clawing at myself
a self-induced appearance of leprosy without the actual disease
i'm biting my lips, my mouth, my nails
there are strips and chunks of my own flesh sticking in my throat
i guess you could say it's a bit ironic that i'm choking on myself, that i'm slowly turning myself inside out
maybe if i just scratch harder, scrape faster
(scratch and sniff but with flesh and blood)
god i need to see open wounds I need to open every single bump in my skin
i yank out my hair and eat the skin off my fingertips but it's ok i don't need it
i claw open the side of my face and i don't need it, i don't need any of it
i need to smell blood, to touch it, taste it
i tripped and scraped my knee open and let me tell you i savored that moment
i hate getting hurt but i love the aftermath
sore throbbing fingers and blood in my mouth that's what i live for
jesus bled from every pore and i envy him
i'm a monster but the only one i'm killing is myself so it doesn't really matter
i don't really matter
maybe if i scratch enough i'll dig a better person out of this skin and maybe they won't smell like death
maybe they will be whole and maybe they'll be able to stand it
one, two, three new scabs on my shoulders, my neck, my face
one, two, three scars on my arms, my legs,  my back
i'm no vampire but i still need blood on my hands and it's sure as hell not innocent blood because it's mine
one of these days i'm going to fall apart and i mean that literally
gnawing on my own bones will take it's toll i'm going to collapse in a pile of my own organs and i'm going to enjoy it
it will smell like blood

You could say
That falling in love
Is an easy thing for me
                                            Heart open
                                            Arms outstretched
                                            Stars in my eyes
My feeble heart
Was built
Around the hope
That one day
I'd find my one true love
And live a fairytale
                                             Sweet and soft

But the plan was drawn
By a darker force
My love never comes
Like an unwatered flower
My heart whithers

                                             It turns to dust
                                             It's swept away

But still I'll lay her
In my bed
Waiting
                                             For a candied letter
                                             A sweet kiss
                                             A gentle touch
                                             *A reason to live

Death and Life sat together
Watching as the sun
Went away that night and said
Goodnight to everyone

Death was looking at Life
Whose head was pointed to the ground
Why my beautiful Mistress
Do you carry such a frown?

Life replied sadly,
I am sad to only see
That tears and screams await you
And all the smiles go to me

Death now understood
Why his mistress was depressed
I can't explain it all, said he
But I'll try to do my best.

Death, hand in hand with Life,
Started to explain,
I am a Truth that can't be outrun,
But you are a Lie that they live away.

You are merely temporary,
But I am always imminent,
Although they want the opposite
I am stuck forever, permanent

But isn't there- said Life
Who was promptly stopped by Death,
No, he answered, there's none.
So she cried through broken breaths

Death heard a familiar ring;
And all too familiar it was.
I must be going.
And you should leave as well,
For reasons you should be knowing.

Yes, said Life
Through her broken cries,
For you are the Unwanted Truth,
And I am their Beautiful Lies.

Death began to chuckle,
Yes this is true.
That every Truth ends with me,
And every Lie begins with you.

So they walked away together
And through the hospital doors,
One to tell a Truth,
And the other to Lie once more.