Cut things in half
Or at least I try
Do all math
Things add up
But you just get by

It is hearing your name mentioned with a smile
It is comfort, trust, loyalty and special moments to share
Giving your last chocolate button to your loved one
and finally it is being with someone  and you care.

Care is such a big word with so few letters
It means everything and it is filled with love
To love is to care and to care is to love
and especially it means the words in the verse above.

Make sure that you hold these vows in your heart
keep them safe and stick by them, it is your world
Your world would not be the same without these
To keep your happiness you have to keep your word.

As we steer towards the end of May
When the bluebells wither and die
The daffodils have long gone sadly
The days of Spring go lovingly by.
We look forward to the end of Spring
and Summer is a beautiful word
Long days, warm nights to look forward to
The singing of the early morning bird.
Sunlight streaming through your curtains
The warmth of the day settles your mind
The promise  of early June brings hope and peace
Summer is such a special time for all mankind.

Eyes burning like torches
Searching mine for that eureka moment that screamed I LOVE HER
That moment never came
we were reminded that our childhood daydreams were just that

**Daydreams.

Today I thought about burning bibles and how my house is surrounded by cobwebs and how do I explain that to people.
It burns my veins when I think of the god that lets children die and creates maelstroms inside people so they’re left begging for change in the streets and all those prayers are like pinpricks on my forefinger because if I was created in his image, then why do I curl my fists when I look in the mirror
It’s not easy being cut-cloth and vacancy motels in foreign cities I will never return to because I know their owner
I know the freckles in your back like constellations in my head
I've heard your voice when I was on the bathroom floor sinking, sinking
There’s no anchor in this ship and the tossed waves are like your tousled hair
and maybe the sternum in your chest is the Bermuda triangle
but I could have sworn I held your hand, I know this for a fact
because my pulse danced with yours those days
but now it’s these days and I can’t get a grip
and I bend my knees but the bruises are stubborn
I keep opening doors but I don’t know what I’m looking for
I want to call, for help, to my mother, to my father whose clothes cling to him like death and I want you to know that this isn't about you
When I was a little girl, I would go to church and hope that someday my knuckles would get kissed and not murdered
I wanted everything my parents didn't get
I used to think it was because god was too busy with other people's families and that's why their lawns were always greener than ours  
I wanted for you to exist so badly, I forgot that I did too.

I wrote a poem for you when you were gone
It was everyone's darling; I found it feeble.

About how the leagues between diminished
when I stared up at the same stars that lit
the night where you walked. How the Earth
still revolves but we cannot feel it and we
look up, unknowing if anything looks back down.

You returned to me and I collected the pieces of your
heart, gained sight of salt leaking luscious from places
whose ignorance of existence naively I was blessed
heard words I would rather have remained unspoken.

Loathed speech fell like cumbersome bricks from
my tongue to yours, decisions took in absence
causing tectonic plates to clash and tremors be to
felt, further and wider than your eyes when I spoke.

I am sorry is a meaningless phrase. It changes
nothing and I try never to speak it, rather avoid
its crashes of consequence, freeze substance before
the impacted have little cause to celebrate
its colourless intonation.

I am sorry for saying I am sorry, but that which I am not
is for the needed swelling waves which set you far from my shore.