I'm 15.
I'm 15 and I'm an alcoholic.
I'm 15 and I've been smoking cigarettes for
a year.
I'm 15 and I've been with more boys then I can count on one hand.
I'm 15 and my preexisting anxiety and depression are becoming too much for me.
I'm 15 and I don't know if I can do this anymore.
I'm 15 and I don't want to be 15.
I'm 15 and I want to be 6.
I want to be 6 when I swore I'd never touch a cigarette in my life.
I want to be 6 when I didn't even know what anxiety was.
I want to be 6 but I'm not.
I'm 15.
I'm 15 and I want to be 28.
I want to be 28 with a man who appreciates my flaws and loves me no matter what.
I want to be 28 drinking a glass of wine or two at dinner, but no more.
I want to be 28 but I'm not.
I'm 15.
I'm 15 and I'm scared.
I'm 15 and I'm scared because I'll never be 6 again, and I'm scared that I might not make it 28.
I'm 15 and I don't want to be 15.
I'm 15 and I want to be.

Cut if you will, with Sleep’s dull knife,
  Each day to half its length, my friend,—
The years that Time takes off my life
  He’ll take from off the other end!

It's Thursday
If it were Wednesday
It would be the same
again, you are not here
So,
     I think to call someone else
and have regrettable ***
and forget you for a night
but I don't
I'm tired of it
I'll be alone
So,
I think I'll sit by myself
drink
    and talk to the gods
they don't exist
but they are nearer than you

Regret has been the bane of my existence,
It has guarded me with a gilded fence.
Looking back into my past,
Wishing I would have been in a cast,
As the leading lady of my story,
Where I could show my enlightened glory,
And not the constant darkness of my mistakes,
Making the right choices would I make.
There would be no wrong,
In my Life Song.
But Mankind has a melody of good and bad,
Happy and sad,
And if I live in my past, I will miss out living in the moment,
And I am not willing to continue being my own opponent.
I will learn and I will try,
Beginning to learn about the Why.

It’s been a dark corridor for a while.
I was hoping I could go into one of those beautiful picture frames
But I was never one to appreciate photography.

Can I disappear out of a window;
Even if there is a drop?
Sometimes I prefer the drop, some days I prefer it a lot.

Could I float into the sky?
Or would I be stuck in the ground?

Can I become one with the orange of the sunset horizon?
Could I become one with the blue of the day sky?

I’ve became one with the darkness of the night, and I think it’s about time to change the light.