I don't hate you,
I could never hate you.
                                                 I envy you.

I envy the way you look so free,
the way you could be called confident,
in the clothes people would call me bold for.
The way your good at so many things,
that I lay in your shadow,
yearning for the spotlight.

I wish I could love you,
or even just like you,
but, I can't.
Because your beautiful,
your kind,
your loved,
                                                  your perfect.
While, I'm just....
well, me.

So, I'm sorry.
Just know,
I don't hate you,
I could never hate you.
But,
                                            I'll forever envy you.

I don't want this to be
Like a movie I'd see
I want the good, the bad
And all the boring in between.

It’s not happening as you expected? So what? How do you know that what you wanted to happen was for the best?
Embrace the challenges. Embrace the unexpected. That way, you’re unstoppable.

I was weak in winter,
The constant frosts,
Laying over my bones.

Now Spring has come,
With a new warmth I've never known,
Blooming in the flowers of our pear trees.

A new season has brought a new warmth inside,
So I fold into the branches of the cherry trees.

They are bright,
and they are beautiful.
With magical clouds,
as if someone had painted them.

The colors that came along with it,
were now blended together,
perfectly going together,
like it was meant to be.

We stare and admire,
wondering what nature is trying to say.
Watching the view slowly fade.

we are all the same no matter what the skin
its a mixed race world that we all live in
we all have a heart and have feelings to
a world that we can share for every me and you

skin is just a color that is meant to be
inside were all the same to live a life thats free
we have love inside that is there to give
a world that we can share where we all can live

no matter who we are no matter what the race
we all live together the worlds a great big place
no discrimination should there ever be
the world is there to share with a lifes that free

losing others
losing self
being.

you come in without a warrant
where’s your sense of respect ?
do you enjoy belittling me ?
because this isn’t ‘good cop, bad cop’.
you two are ‘bad cop, weak cop’.

stab through my heart then lay it before your eyes
reading every yearning thought
every meaningful emotion
every single desire i’ve ever had.
and you put it in a police file.

sit my witness in the uneasy room
it’s cold in here.
it’s december.
take your file, open it wide
display my mind, my fears that i’ve kept hidden for so long.

–

COP’S iNTERLUDE

i’M THE ONE
i KNOW WHAT’S BEST.
SURE, i HAVEN’T KNOWN YOU YOUR WHOLE LiFE
BUT i’VE DONE MY RESEARCH.

i’LL HAVE YOU BENT OVER MY CRUiSER
YOUR WRiSTS BOUND TOGETHER BY MY CUFFS
THE METAL iS COLD
i HOPE iT LEAVES A SCAR ON YOUR WHITE HEART

POSSESS YOU BEHiND BARS
i’VE PUBLiCLY EXECUTED YOU
RESiSTiNG ARREST iS SELFiSH, LiTTLE GiRL
YOU ARE LEGALLY CONDEMNED BY MY COMMAND.

DON’T UNDERESTiMATE WHAT i CAN DO.
POWER DRiPS OFF OF MY BODY
i MAY BE A COP
BUT MY LOVE iS A CRiME.

–

you say
you love me
like a father
as if i
was your own blood.

i don’t resist.
because there’s no one but you
! to ruin me
you build me up
then break me down.

i barely had a father,
who could love me.
you did much more than i could ask for,
but that’s the issue.
i didn’t ask for any of this..

i’ll always be your girl
even if i can’t be
disregard the feelings, the flames
the need coursing through your veins
what will you do if i resist ?

each and every birthday we begin to age
from our infant days to the adult stage
hanging on to memories of all the things we did.
when were in our younger days when we were just a kid.

theses will never age as our birthdays do
the memories you have are there inside you
they will keep you young as you begin to age
then you can recall your life at each and every stage