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Hanzou Jul 2019
Sa pagitan ng isang salamin kami'y unang nagkatagpo
Tila walang ibang nakikita habang tanaw siya sa malayo
Kaunting hakbang nalang ay patungo na ako
Ngunit napuno ng kaba at hiya, sapagkat unang beses ito.

Isang binibining marilag at may kaayusan
Na ang kaniyang kaanyuan ay kapita-pitagan
Malumanay niya akong tinungo at nilapitan
Na para bang kami ay mag-uusap ng masinsinan

Lumipas ang bawat sandali na kami ay magkasama
Habang dahan-dahang inilapat ang kamay sa kaniyang palad
Nilibot ang paligid, tanging siya lang ang nakikita
Mahinay ang takbo ng oras, na sa layo ng nilakbay ay parang nagpapahinga

Malapit na matapos ang panandaliang pagsasama
Habang ako'y pilit na tinalunton ang bawat hakbang niya
Dumating ang pagkakataong magpapaalam na
Lunos ang biglang nadama, sapagkat iyon ay una.

Sa larawan na aming kinuhanan nang kami ay magkasama
Ika-pitompu't anim na araw ng tatlong daan at animnapu't lima
Siya ay aking nakausap, nakasama, at nakita
Subalit hindi nasabihan ng isang mahalagang salita

Sa nag-iisang larawan na pilit kong iniingatan
Bumalik kami sa dati na sa telepono'y nag-uusap na lamang
Kung may pagkakataon ay agad siyang pupuntahan
At sa pagkakataong iyon, ay mahigpit siyang hahagkan

Sa isang imahe ng larawan na aking itinatangis
Nag-iisang larawan na lubos kong ninanais
Subalit sa kasalukuyan ako'y patuloy na nagahis
Sapagkat ang imaheng iyon ay imaheng puno ng hinagpis

Hinagpis sa una naming pagkikita
Sa matagal na paghihintay ay muli ng nagkasama
Handa akong maghintay at maglakbay ng ilang milya
Mangyari lamang ulit ang matagal ko ng adhika.
Hanzou Jan 2
I regret loving you,
Regret giving you my life,
Regret making you my world.
Regret knowing you.
Hanzou Nov 2024
Even after all those years
I got replaced
By someone
She just met
sana ako rin makahanap ng bago gaya ng kung gaano kabilis niyang makahanap sa kabila ng pitong taon na samahan.
Hanzou Dec 2024
The world she longed for, she finally found,
A circle of care, where love abounds.
While I remain in this hollow space,
Alone with echoes I can't erase.

The roles we played have come undone,
She found her light, I lost my sun.
Where I was her rock, now I am air,
Invisible, forgotten, lost in despair.

Her laughter blooms with others near,
While I drown in memories I hold dear.
The life we shared feels so far away,
A shadow cast by brighter days.

Now she feels cared, now she feels free,
While loneliness wraps its arms around me.
Our paths diverged, her world expands,
But I’m left holding empty hands.
Part 2.
Hanzou Apr 2021
I saw a daisy flower that grew under your eyes.
Each time you cry, they bloom too.
Should you let it grow? That flower that is once a seed?
Or let it turn into a daisy flower that makes you want to cede?
I thought it was charming, that flower.
You kept it growing, didn't let it wither.
There should be no reason for that flower,
To attract you to thither.
Your tears let it grow.
The seed you had in you.
Since then, no smile on your face had shown.
Hanzou Dec 2024
I gave her a haven, a place to belong,
A shield from the chaos, a place to grow strong.
I offered my heart, my time, my embrace,
Only to hear it was all out of place.

She says she felt pressured, confined in my care,
That my love was a burden too heavy to bear.
Regret, she whispers, for years spent with me,
A shadow cast over what I thought we could be.

I didn’t mean to make her feel so constrained,
I tried to bring comfort, not leave her pained.
Yet now, I’m the villain in her story’s refrain,
The one who brought heartache, the source of her strain.

But still, I wonder, was it all in vain?
The love that I gave, the joy, and the pain?
Though she may forget, I carry the cost,
Seven years of my love, now seen as lost.
Part 1.
Hanzou Oct 2024
They say I’m the storm that tore it apart,
The one who left ruins in someone’s heart.
No matter how clear the skies may seem,
They only recall the thunder and scream.

I’ve wandered far from those wild winds,
But the echoes of past mistakes still spin.
They look at me through shattered glass,
Seeing only the cracks of what couldn’t last.

In their eyes, I’m the fault, the fall,
The reason the walls crumbled tall.
No bridges left, just broken ground,
And no path back can ever be found.

But is it the storm or the earth below,
That crumbles first when the winds blow?
Maybe we’re both tangled in pride,
Both trying to claim who’s justified.

I’m the shadow they can’t forget,
The cause of a pain they won’t reset.
But deep inside, the truth’s unclear—
Who truly caused the fall, and who shed the tear?

So here I stand in the ruins we built,
Carrying the weight of unshaken guilt.
They see only the storm, never the calm,
In a tale where neither was truly wrong.
unspoken words.
Hanzou Oct 2024
She once held my face like I was her world,
Now her words cut deep, like daggers unfurled.
She looks at me now with disdain in her eyes,
What was once treasured, now she despises.

I see stuff sometimes, each one like a blade,
Saying this situation makes her spirit fade.
Not from the place or somewhere, but from me, I know—
A reminder of the love she let go.

A person who sees me a disdain, needs to run far away,
That every corner of a place brings her dismay.
But it's not the streets, it’s what she can’t bear,
The ghost of who I was still hanging there.

I feel it all—the whispers, the weight,
The way a person rewrites love into hate.
That silence screams louder than any blow,
Crushing the heart that once made me glow.
Words left unspoken. This is a creation on a muddled mind.
Hanzou May 2018
That loneliness
Inside her shallow heart
Felt like a deep one
Almost empty, but left open.

I always admired her
Looked up to her flaws
Everything about her feels nostalgic
But there's this one feeling.

Her eyes are lively enough not to notice
Her smiles are even wider than you'd feel
Her face doesn't show that gloominess
That's exactly nobody knows.

Whenever I dig deeper knowing her
Even the darkness inside her
All those imperfections
Guilt, impurity, mortification

Her eyes are so full of life
But inside, it's like an empty vessel
Her heart, is a heart that keeps on loving
But in reality, it's a heart that is always hurting.
Hanzou Jul 2019
Hindi ko lubos malaman kung saan na nga ba ang daan tungo sa walang hanggang kasiyahan
Tila ako'y nabalot na ng walang katapusang kalungkutan
Pakisabi naman sa akin ang araw kung kailan ito mawawakasan
Patuloy na naghihinagpis
Mga mata ay laging nananangis
Kung iyong titingnan sa aking pisikal na kaanyuan malalaman mo ang pinagkaiba ng isang taong masaya at isang taong pilit nagpapakasaya.
Oo, hindi ako ang taong kilala ninyo.
Sa likod ng wangis na anyo,
Sa kabila ng 'di mawaring agam-agam,
Nananatili ang isang kabuuan ng pagkatao na kahit kailan, hindi ko ninais maramdaman.
Oo, isa akong halimuyak ng bulaklak sa inyong paningin pero,
Ni minsan hindi nagawang pitasin at nanatiling nakasulyap sa katimyasan.
Isa lamang akong atraksyon na pinipiling lapitan.
Isang anino sa pisikal na anyo.
Hanzou Oct 2024
I know one day, someone else will take my place,
They’ll kiss those lips and feel her warm embrace.
They’ll hold her close, whisper words I used to say,
And share the secrets I once held, now washed away.

Someone new will take her hand, see her tender side,
The parts of her heart she used to let me inside.
I was once the one, her shelter and her calm,
But now I’m just a memory, fading in her palm.

Jealousy stirs, a quiet ache I can’t deny,
Thinking of her laughter shared with another girl or guy.
But it’s not my place, not my right to say,
I’m just the one who couldn’t let her drift away.

So here I stay, with shadows of what used to be,
Unable to move on, though she’s finally free.
She’ll find her peace, while I watch her from afar,
As someone else becomes her moon, her guiding star.
the man who can't be moved.
Hanzou Nov 2024
She returned to the words she once confessed,
A life of fleeting crushes she likes best.
No ties to hold, no promises made,
I thought she’d grown, but she stayed the same shade.

I hoped for change, for love to endure,
But her heart chose freedom, wild and unsure.
I was a fool to believe she’d stay,
For some things never change, they just fade away.
Hanzou Mar 18
I came across a picture today,
a moment frozen, bright and full of life.
She was smiling—so effortlessly,
like the past never weighed her down.

She found her way, I see it now,
embracing all the things she left behind.
The hobbies she once set aside,
the laughter she forgot how to share—
they are hers again, and they shine.

But where does that leave me?
The one left behind, standing still,
watching from a distance,
realizing that I have nothing,
not even a place to start.

She rediscovered herself,
while I am still sifting through ruins,
searching for pieces of me
that I never thought I’d have to rebuild.

I was always a part of something,
tied to a life that no longer exists.
Now, I face the question I never dared ask:
Who am I, when I am only me?

The world moves forward, time doesn’t wait,
and I know I must start again.
But every step feels heavier,
every day feels longer,
and the path ahead is one I have to carve alone.

Maybe one day, I’ll understand.
Maybe one day, I’ll smile like that too.
But for now, I am just trying—
trying to begin from nothing.
Hanzou Nov 2024
Strange, isn’t it? How the boy I never thought to fear,
Now walks beside her, in whispers she holds dear.
A year they’ve known, yet closer they’ve grown—
While I drift alone, like a heart made of stone.

Seven years we wove with threads of care,
Built from laughs and tears and promises rare.
But he, in months, has somehow won a part,
That I spent years trying to hold in her heart.

She says his confession was light as air, just words—
But he remains, while my love fades unheard.
Best friends, she calls him, like an easy refrain,
While I smile, hiding the quiet, growing pain.

So here I am, a shadow of what we were,
In the life we planned, now a faded blur.
Watching him stand where I once stayed,
As I learn to let go, where I thought we’d be made.
I feel pathetic for being like this, even though we've long since broke up. I guess I am just a effed and wicked person.
Hanzou Oct 2024
This is my last act of love, the final thread I’ll weave,
I’m sad I’m not the one for you, it’s hard to truly believe.
Seven years we shared, a time that shaped my soul,
A piece of you remains with me, forever keeping me whole.

If one day you find someone new, someone to make you bloom,
Someone who sees your light and clears away the gloom.
I hope they make you feel like you, the way you always should,
And give you all the love I couldn’t, but always wished I could.

I feel the weight of sadness now, for not being enough,
For failing to show the depth of my love when things got tough.
I couldn’t make you feel the way you deserved to feel,
And now I face the truth I can no longer conceal.

I’m not the one who’ll stand with you at the altar in the end,
I’m not the person you’ll call a lover or even a friend.
It hurts to think of all the moments we once knew,
The dreams of forever that we both outgrew.

Those dates we shared, the laughter and the nights,
All our bondings and the warmth of the morning lights.
They are now pieces of the past, but I’ll hold them tight,
For they’ll forever be a part of my memory’s light.

I’ll cherish those times, though they’ve come to an end,
The love we built, though broken, it’s a love I can’t pretend.
I’ll carry it with me, though it may fade with time,
A love that was real, even if it lost its rhyme.

This is my last act of love, the final gift I’ll give,
Letting you go, so you can truly live.
I hope you find the happiness that slipped away,
And feel loved in all the ways I couldn’t convey.

When I can finally move on, when the weight is gone,
I’ll look back on this love and see how far I’ve drawn.
I’ll be proud to say I loved with everything I had,
Even though we parted, I’ll remember the good and the bad.

I’ll remember you as the girl I loved with all my heart,
Though we’ve drifted, you’ll always be a part.
And when the ache subsides, when I’ve finally healed,
I’ll know that my love was true, even if it wasn’t sealed.

So here’s my final act, my farewell to the past,
I hope your new love will be one that lasts.
I’ll carry the memories, but I’ll let you be free,
This is my last act of love—for you, for me.
Farewell, my love.
Hanzou Dec 2024
My pen trembles with this final verse,
A love once blessing, now a curse.
With every word, I set you free,
This is my final act—no more of me.

No more whispers of what once was,
No more tracing love’s fragile flaws.
This chapter ends, the ink runs dry,
Goodbye, my love, this is goodbye.
Goodbye, K! Until we meet again—perhaps in another lifetime.
Hanzou Oct 2024
From a distance, I watch the space between two friends grow small,
A quiet closeness forming, a step—a drift—I’ve seen it all.
Their laughter fills the hours from morning’s start to evening’s fall,
And somehow, I feel more distant now than I ever did before.

He’s just a friend, she says, with the ease of practiced lines,
But there’s a weight in his gaze, a purpose behind his time.
Perhaps it’s nothing, or maybe it's the way these things unwind,
One steady step into spaces I once thought were mine.

I asked her, lightly, to guard the borders of their ties,
A simple caution shared, a soft concern disguised.
But my words fell like whispers, dismissed into the skies,
Leaving me with an ache, unseen, unspoken, denied.

So here I am, a spectator to the subtle, shifting ways,
Caught between letting go and the memory of better days.
If this is what it means to care, in all the ways love decays,
Then I’ll stand in silence, holding the ghost of us in place.
poems from my muddled mind.
Hanzou Nov 2024
Did I just get replaced by a friend she met anew?
I, who was once her world, now stand outside the view.
A stranger who stepped in, filling spaces I left bare,
Now holds the place I thought was ours to share.

Our roles have shifted, like night turning to dawn,
I, the familiar, find myself withdrawn.
And he, a newcomer in the chapters of her day,
Becomes the comfort where I used to stay.

It’s strange how quickly life can rearrange,
How swiftly hearts can feel so estranged.
I drift as a memory, faint and out of sight,
While he lights her path through each passing night.
Hanzou Nov 2024
We broke up 2 months ago
But you found someone you liked already
I still don't know what to feel
Am I that easy to replace?
Easy to forget?
Was all the years with me just a phase?
If you could do new things with people you just met,
Why can't you do it with me?
You just needed a reason
To break up with me.
Hanzou Apr 2021
I am afraid of little changes
Afraid that you will get addicted to it,
To the changes.
I am afraid, not on myself
But on behalf of you,
Afraid of your little changes.
That one day, you'll turn into a different person.
Can I still keep up with you and go on?
Don't lose yourself,
Don't get addicted,
I know changes can be good or bad,
But I am afraid of it for you.
You didn't ask me anything in return,
But I am afraid of you being addicted,
To that. The changes, and the reasons coming from it.
Hanzou Dec 2024
I regret doing things for you,
I regret writing you poems too.
I regret believing in all you’d do,
I regret everything about you.

No, you wouldn’t change a single bit,
Not your words nor actions fit.
The same old ways, the same old game,
Nothing about you ever changed.

I wasted my years thinking you’re "The One,"
A mistake I wish could be undone.
Oh, how I wish to turn back time,
So our paths would never align.
Hanzou Jul 2021
Ako, at ako.
Hanzou Jul 2021
Ako talaga 'yun
Hanzou Jul 2021
I'm done.
If you can't,
Then so be it.
Hanzou May 2021
Looks like I also need to change my ways.
Abnkkbsnplko pt3
Hanzou Apr 2021
First we became friends,
Now lovers.
I don't want this to end,
For us to become strangers.
abnkkbsnplko
Hanzou Apr 2021
Why did you lie?
abnkkbsnplko
Hanzou May 2021
Am I one of those bothering you?
Am I one of those things that you do not care?
Are my feelings and way of approach really a bother?
Abnkkbsnplko pt2
Hanzou Jun 2021
At least tell me how you feel.
Just for once, tell me.
I'm starting to get fed up.
Tired of catching up.
Tired of your reasons.
Tired of feeling toxic.
I have feelings too.
At least consider me too.
We don't need to be perfect,
We just need to tell each other straight,
That if we're not good,
we'll let the other person know.
You don't have to tell me things,
I'll do it on my own.
Just don't keep on pushing me away.
Abnkkbsnplko pt.7
Hanzou Apr 2021
How do I know,
How much value do I have,
For you to acknowledge my worth?
abnkkbsnplko
Hanzou Mar 2021
I once had a value to others
Deep inside they only chose who to cherish,
I think that being with them is not foolish
So I kept believing that it was okay one after another.
Hanzou Aug 2021
I lost the motivation and energy that I once had.
Ever since that day.
Overthinking became my hobby.
Anxiety became my friend.
And my purpose, to blame myself.
Hanzou Nov 2024
I am just a nobody
I am just an ugly human
No one will look my way
No one will hear what I say

I felt this more now
After with her
I realized that I am a nobody
In this cruel world
Hanzou Apr 2021
It felt like driving me away once,
I understood that it had to be done.
Hanzou Jul 2021
Hindi ko na talaga maintindihan ito.
Hanzou May 2021
Are you lying to me,
Or deceiving me?
Abnkkbsnplko pt3
Hanzou Jun 2021
Push me away 'til I get tired.
Abnkkbsnplko pt.6
Hanzou Apr 2021
I guess you're far from me now.
abnkkbsnplko
Hanzou Jun 2021
She leaves me hanging,
She never tells me why.
Abnkkbsnplko pt.5
Hanzou Jun 2021
Paano ko aayusin kung ako mismo hindi ayos?
Hanzou May 2021
Here we go again.
Abnkkbsnplko
Hanzou Apr 2021
Is lying to me that easy?
abnkkbsnplko
Hanzou Jan 2021
I thought
Hanzou Nov 2024
It’s strange how quickly they try to forget,
How swiftly they turn to leave,
How eagerly they look for someone new,
Just to erase our shadows, to bury our ghost.

Was I just a stepping stone all along,
A path for them to find someone they deserve?
A fleeting chapter in their story,
So they could finally love and truly belong.

But I couldn't.
I couldn't even force myself.
To let go, to move forward.
How I wish, I would just be gone.
Hanzou Nov 2024
How do I find someone new, like what you did?
How do I focus my feelings on other people, like you?
How do I forget us, as you find again someone new?
How do I throw away the past, like nothing happened?
How do I disregard my promises, like what you did?
How do I end it all?
Hanzou Jun 2019
We are all just painful memories of our past
We kept on living until we can't last
All those sorrows, hardships, and miseries
Are burdened, all in our memories.
Hanzou Aug 2021
Mahal na mahal kita palagi. Kahit na ako ay....
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