When I was younger I use to stay up so I wouldn't wet the bed.
Now my thoughts leak out my heart of what my past did.
As I try and try not to fall asleep, I told  dreams "you win".
Where my feet goes..? I don't know it's up to them.
For I Followed my heart and even that sometimes is number 10..
With a side dish of tears and seasoned pies.
I use to stay up so I would not get my covers wet,
So I stopped drinking thoughts so my morning won't be upset.

Is it bad that I wait for death?
Is it bad that I stayed up all night just to see the mess?
Was it Good for me to sleep without sheets as I cover myself with "I'ma do best"?

Stop with the limitations!

I'm obligated but not force to do nothing.

When the leaves fall it just shows a new season.

I'm here even when I look naked

I have Good Gardner and I will finish this by saying The Lord is Amazing.

What's invisible stands at the door,
Do I open or should I sit here to tell you some more..
Truth is truth my son there's no other way, when Great is in your face don't speak of the best things you should've done
We all here wait for death don't you say? But death has enough patience to wait on another page.
I do hear them coming faster my world and this earth world is beating the same heart beat ..
Make sure you know where your going..

Snow reminds me of home,
I have to remind myself I'm not alone.

I sit to wait for the sunset to lay down with me, chasing people for years I learned that if I say "Tag your it" and I run my hardest I look aback to see that  nobody is chasing me. So I was young now I'm old I see that this hurts the inmost of me, so I look up sit down and stair at the sun until the sunset comes so it can lay down with me.
Nothing really makes me smile no more,
Nothing brings me to tears either not even the sound of "please"?
I said that so long to those that stop looking for me... Heck I even stopped looking at the signs of where I'm going.
As I sit and look at another sunset I lay down and close my eyes a tear falls for the first time... Don't worry tear I saw someone building a place on the sun .....the worlds goodbye is slowly getting almost easy.

My tongue dances behind my mouth.
My eyes wonder before I pluck them out.
Music makes me think out loud.
I recite my past for the ears on my phone.
I giggle I laugh cause my heart is leaking out my jaw.

We say Goodbye it's late at night I turnover and pray tonight above all my words praise the highest in the sky.

Dug to deep in the world what I found is people fighting over pennies.
Demonic forces there plenty.
One God but religions oh there's many.
Forgiveness comes when you know your wrong.
Love is love, hate is known.
Pull the plug my heart is froze.
Zombie wars they made us though.
So when truth speaks all we do is choke.
Messing with lies leave your life feeling dead so..
The media walks right into the home
Take your time and steal your soul.
Most of them won't make it oh!
Cause they caught up in what other people think about them while the name Jesus is being said slow and the devil sits just to make him self known..

Don't believe every word that I write,
Just look at them carefully and think about life.

Am I wrong?

I trade my limits for a friend so yea your not the only one..

So sickening when they tell your the best one.

But it's funny that we laugh but never talk much, the reasons and excuses your phone mess up..
Yea your phone mess up?

I was therefore you I took care of you when they wasn't there yes

You called me bro you took me home so why are you acting this  way..oh now I soundquite strange so maybe I should back up..

You tell me but I like the way we opened up, and pray about and dance around the secret stuff.

I think to much and I know you hate to be alone.
When you see me you act like I should throw it off.

But I guess I should blow it up, come see me I saved a seat for the only one.

Sincerely your best friend that thinks to much

When lies are in the open tell me what is naked?

My mind still goes  places
My heart always stay grounded

We think we know each other intimately just by sitting here talking, but my spirit picks up a lot in you I wonder if you can here me trusting you?.

It might be too late to say this,
But I kno I'm not your favorite.

Now I can relax
Cause I know one day you will listen before it's too late before I say this..

I love you

Yell and scream
My soul is mean
It shows me things
The lustful days
Emotion sings
I'm hard to break
Because I'm broken shattered please
It says it's done with all the fakes.
It says "Don't you want another"?
I hate being with you I always come second!
"I'm done have your way then.."

And my spirit is just like...


Cool..

Haven't had this in weeks, years months probably.

Wonder bread I untie it softly

Reach my hands in there and maaaan I already got the plate ready.

Peanut butter & jelly ....never gets old as I thank the one who made me

When you said when you said I heard what you said..
I knew that y'all did it's how y'all would click..
The joy in the air the mess of the mess.

I lurk on the stairs of a conversation
My hands know the feeling when you grab the thunder, lighting comes first when I saw you smile.

It's a deep whole of lying wonders,
Fingers go only with satisfaction.
With y'all Laughter sounds taped backwards.

Shaft speaks to shaft lust speaks to mattress, your door was open to your closet as I walk up alittle more in this friendship.. You said something but you stopped.

You said "sometimes  I wonder if men do better *******..bro Rico he.........."
As I keep talking to not blow the candles off your cake. But how can I judge you when I grabbed thunder just to taste the rain..

When the **** calls your name late at night.
When your best friends are no where insight.
When your road is all about obiedence and suffering.
When your mirror is getting foggy again by your own doings.
What do you do when everything seems to be unreachable, incovence, tangled, just not moving?

WATCH CLOSELY THIS IS THE TIME OF PROMOTION, TIME OF SWEET SUFFERING..For think my friend when all is crashing there's room to be build up to change ways, to create a heart that says "I will stand, and be greater then who I was yesterday"!

I'm tired of sitting
I'm tired of wanting
I'm tired of people stepping on my neck
telling me this how it goes and you can't do...
What I can't do! Is hear you!
I'm stepping out on faith to, this room is like my plate full everything that I don't accomplish cause I was scared to !!! Uhhh I hate when that happens.

I'm switching like I was broke to a wealthy zeal captain.

I fail so much !!
God I fail so much
God, I am the head and not the tale
Cut my tale off when I bailed now forreal forreal ..

Work my fingers go work!
All there disses don't work
I'm not gunna show them what ima do I will be better stronger wiser then what I am now!!

Cause right now!!
Right now!!
Now, I...I... Praise, pray and hold this stance.
for Jesus is the only one that believed me

They came to party until the world ends...
Play the record again
DJ Play that track again..
I watch the stars and clouds and ask when is the end?
Do I go and dance with my friends?
Do I go and watch the world end?
And they say..

Earth is caving in, run away from them.
There world is plastic
They think it's fantastic
Go and talk to him..the man that guides the wind.
Go and ask him,
He is here to save them.

Go and ask you know need Savin
Go and ask you know need Savin
Go ask him the world they know is plastic.
It will burn by there own sinful habits
Go and ask him..
Go and ask him.. The world you know is plastic
It's a habit the world you know is!

Plastic!
Plastic!
Plastic..

Hurry ask him

I came to dance a new song and hyme, Tell me how it ends.
my world is plastic
I was a fanatic
Watch the clouds and stars they took me very far.
He said..

Dust the magic off your feet,
And the plastic off your hands
My heart I give you so you can be real person again.

My songs are platnuim now go and sing to them and who ever here you they hears me.

They talk among themselves as I step in my head..
Words exchange bout how much girls they have had..
Louder he speaks as his eyes turn to me..
I smile painfully for my heart begged to leave the room before they say "How much legs you have spread"?

Ones 16 other 14 and I'm 20 sitting on this bed!
My spirit grieves but my past is wors then everything they have said.

Later that day, I'm going home with my friend.

Heard his mom and dad over talking saying "why is he playing with my kid"?

If she only knew the kid she was talking about been a man.

But she's right how..why.. When did we become such good friends? For him to ask me these kinda questions?

Back in my head the grief has set in, as I look around and think that's why cause I don't have any friends...

Man I don't know why I chill with these guys spend a night go ride have fun with these guys and I'm older them!?

He asked me a question and I still haven't answered him...
Quickly I tell him while his dad is taking me home " I haven't had a girlfriend sense I was one if them".
Never split a girl
Never hit a girl
Never thought about being one of them.

He said "oh..haa.. So your a ******?
And I sarcasticly laugh as his dad stopped at my house I told him "love you bro, get ready for school..I'm here to pray or anything see you next summer or when basketball season comes up...thanks for letting me in.

We shook hands
Hugged
And while he's talking saying his good-byes to me.
My heart says " no I'm not if you get it then you get it, till then keep it in your heart and pray for him.

The interesting thing about physics... Sceptics.
Is that were always looking for proof, but what will happen if we found it?

Theologies & hypothesis is like trapping love in a test tube or breath mint.

That don't make sense but even money now shows you the sinful abominations.

"and God Still dances ominous for sovereignty is Good for human dominance because we always wanna control something that we never made in this life of consequence."

Dungeons is for dragons and guns is for crooks.

Both has a dark twisted atmosphere like if I said "Roses are Blue".

Evil and wicked the tongue is when your words are sharper then you.

Dragons arn't real but bullets don't **** you.

Mix both with magic and fire then you get a bad guy with the "greatest plot" to **** you.

Every bad guy you have to have a Good..
Like a sword waiting to be handled.

"Choose wisely my son & daughter, for what you hear and what you recieve they said will become what you have mantled."

Blinds cover and sheets cover the cold winter sings soft like a new born hyme.

You Got Doctors you got pills but what's touching him?

New letters the new faces I see that life is writing to him.

In a story that's not mine, another character but what's scarier? If I our friendship dies at the end.

Is this a Fantasy...land.
I don't think I know where I am,
Then again...who really knows.

Where are we?
Where am I?
Feels like the door is open and I can walk out of my soul..
Seems like the only wisdom and security is where ever your spirit goes...
Looks like I'm never going back to who was cause my feet is subject to right.. I ... Love ... You.

But if I was being real Is this a Fantasy...land.
I don't think I know where I am,
Then again...who really knows?

Hold the key to my life unlock what I need more then what I know, closed gently those things that I run to when things become wrong.. If I thought bout it ...

"Your my key lead the way to what is you, lead me home".




Amen

I got to much self in me,
I don't know why but his soul has alittle of envy.
It's tempting when your in a room of people you don't know and they know the same person as you ...

He will be there wearing white
Don't matter what he thought when he thinks it escapes his mind.

Can't look back his past ain't bright
Lost sight on what was who hugged who touched first that place is  dry.

Sand castles thats de solved by the salt in his own life, but to think about it to much sugar is not good for you....like

When I had you in my hands literally tasting sugery skin on my tongue..why
Would I go back where i was to keep making sand castles and blank trips to my life?

Darkness was his favorite color back then when his "mind" controlled his life...now where ever his Heart is there he will dwell He will be there wearing white
Don't matter what he thought when he thinks it escapes his mind.

My mind goes back and forth with "oh and okay I get it".

Your smile punches the inmost until your jokes come pleasant.

It's not a lot of joy but in these days it only takes a second.

To sit and  wait for persons story or his obligation.

I step easy
my hearts sits
Just to hear you breathing,
I lay down
By your side
My  thoughts are so decieveing.
I saw your smile
You turned around
..dang you caught me dreaming.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

James 4:1

Here i am..
Knees weak,
Eyes steady..
Drifting thoughts my my mind let's me.
Heart consumed..
Soul heavy..
While my spirit keeps praying I'm still connected to the unseen world as it's voice leaks like music playing gently.

Feels like I lost a lot but I'm found all of what's worthy.

The sinful things  from the sweet and ugly
IM ASHAMED OF ALL MY SOMETHINGS.

He still glad cause he wakes up in the morning ...to be honest that's the reason I smile in the morning.

Take me back and place me as your sibling, for there I was someone something even a memory

Here i am.. Forgive me for what my human doing, create in me a pure heart for with you God you know I am your human being.

Are you okay?
Can you tell me what's wrong?
Will you give me a chance to talk?
Can I listen to your life story?
Do I bore you?
Will you ignore me?
What makes you cry?
What's so funny?
What is love to you?
Do you know what I mean?
Can I joke with you?
Are you laughing at me?
Can we be more then poets?
Would you talk to me?
What's wrong with me?
What about my face?
Can I hear your heart?
If I told you what mine say can we still be okay?
Will you give me a chance?
Tell me what you think..please
Last question is this
Do you know how much I love you?

Let's be honest
I'll be honest..can I be?
My life *****...literally.
If it wasn't for A Son of God I couldn't be..one
It took something to make something
But I feel like I'm nothing and you still say I'll go for nothing?
Wow why am I sounding like one if those crazy Christian type people ?
Maybe because I'm ready to lay this sin of mine down
Cause I'm down
But you say to lift this nothing selfish man up?
Oh God help me guide me to be the man you wanna see one day face to face ..
Cause honestly I believe that's heaven to me.

Hands ***** like my T-shirt,
All these lies on my t-shirt!
Holes and wrinkles..blows and regretful tears on this T-Shirt!
Who to blame when I bought it maaanee it's kinda strange to keep this up or keep it on.



"In order to clean your bad habits I learned you gotta stop picking those bad habits or they will rub off in your soul and become your actions."

Let me go
Pass the stars and this galaxy
To where you are,
Painted souls it's a mystery.
The nerve of me,
To over see most of these don't know who you are and who you be but who is man that your mindful like Dream.
A grain of sand in the timezone
Tik tok my minds blown
Can't hold my seconds though
Thank you God for a moment cause it's just another favor like a minute with no numbers..oh..
That's called a memory
The thoughtful thoughts rewind slow
These last days seem so long.

I kneel to a watch and watch it look up to the real clock ..oh..
God .. The only entiety in and out of my timezone..

Thoughtful thoughts rewind slow..

Today I can see a fallen world, and I can only imagine them falling in love with you...

Falling in love with you.

-Christion Grey

Voices!
Oh He spoken..
Mystery and unseen things!
I promise!
My ears are open..
Like seas and oceans!
My heart waves too your fortress..
My Rampart my shelter my lover!
I hear you even with all these voices.
Amen

Ran from mistakes ran to mistakes
When your heart is broken it's hard not to break.

Counting on people I lost count,
Even the good ones took a bad rout.

I don't hold or play unforgiveness,
All you win is bitterness and confusion.

Knock me out and make sure you see my face to,
Cause see I waited for all my life to show you what eternity is ...

Whatever you do here will echo there,
When all this is down I hope I hear the sound of a faithful pier, a son that never quit and a friend that was always there.

So I'm in fear but not scared,
Love is my aim I aim my bullets there
My words my actions my fear my friend your loved one ...will be right here

Rose petals, candles lit alittle that alittle this

Whatever you want tonight with a sunset kiss

Let's be alittle Romantic

Taking shots at the bar, tell my mind it's to far.
Waist ciroc on my shirt,  I feel the end of my heart!
Bang!

Time flys with no wings, I'm full but haven't ate.
Can't feel my left hand, I can't even stand right.
Bang!

I bleed words that don't make sense
I don't know what I just said
I breath my last breath
Please take a shot for me because I'm up next.

Body to Body
So how are we so distant?
Your tongue it massage me,
But baby I can't feel nothing...

I wanna real love where your voice excites me over the phone.
And love is in the air when I step in the door.
Put your shirt on baby I don't have to see your naked body everytime you wanna cuddle.

I'm in love with you so tonight I wanna take it real slow..

My heart is a well and I can't stop it,
My hands have holes.
And my tears hold back cause I don't have a backbone.
I smile
I smile
Cause I don't have another expression to give..
My frown only comes when I say "truth is"..
But truth is my lips trip my words until I sink in my well but who cares ?
Who cares ?
Who cares?.... I do ...I doooo!!! Come we will hold each other until we find something to laugh at and discover the truth...

"I'm hear for you,"and if you ever come back I have drink for you..

Suffer is to want it but don't do it.

Suffer is to love them when there foolish.

Suffer is to encourage when they beat you down for entertainment.

Let go of all the hurt they put you threw it.

There screaming but you speak with love and calm them to.

Understand cause you don't have to be understood.

Speak the truth when they don't wanna hear it.

Suffer gives you a heart of content because to be honest this is the person that everybody loves too see them with to pull threw it..

..Thank you

Lift you up then drop you in moment

Broken from the fall that I created

You help me with so much of what I'm facin,
Then I look at you like I can take it....

Then I trip now fallen from mistakes now when I go to pray now not much I can say now  i know That I'm stupid man I come here just to lay down as I go to lay down your hand will be right there all the time okay I see now help me to begin now don't leave me hold me I pray now..

It feels much better that you won't feel a thing.

My hands are getting cold by holding this pain.

The sky is empty tonight as my eyes change to the mess I have made.

To the mess I have made..
To this mess I have made...
To this mess I have chased.

Heart beats steel feet never looked to the grave,
For I'm numb to myself I thank God for God sake!
GOD SAKE.... God wait ..please take the mistake,
My last name has become "the mess that I made.

To the mess I have made..
To this mess I have chased
To this mess I.....wait

I'm numb and it's better to be chasing the mess that I chased.

...breath
..breath my last breath to the fool I was and things that I made.

Drowning in these thoughts again,
Good friends with gills now were selfish.
You slipped I slipped that's what these hooks do they **** us from our lying lips.
My words stand over me sometime I guess that's why you don't understand this.
I just Can't stand trips! I fall worse then august in this thoughtful seasons.
Rowing threw my head my actions propose to some of these guilt trips.
..now I'm sea sick.
But all life's puzzles will fall in to pieces. I asked to come and walk with you on these thoughts with faith so I may be descent.

As you calm me...my words whisper
"There's no greater friend other then Jesus".



Just to be honest, even now my knees creases.

Without you there's no real love,
Pleasures Good but it kills trust

It's like my joy can't come in cause..
Happiness in this world is for a minute when joy is everlasting will I make it God?!

Oh my life slipping fast into my rust
I got time but there's no time to waste
I'm not blind because your glories face
This deception how come it wants me to take?
When there's inception in this lonely place
Repentance is the great escape.
And conviction ...I just  hold tight....
Cause tonight can be our last night
Lord forgive me...guide me I need your light.

Guilty,
I am...
Never should of let you  in

I don't even know where I been
Loosing my balance I can't stand
Guilty,
I am...

What I don't wanna do I did
What I did I don't know what happen
Oh I am Guilty,
My friend..  

Darkness runs in,
Maybe I'm possessed

Guilty,
I am
Save me from the monster I been..

I notice you did you notice me?
I saw you did you see me?

Maybe it was the crowd that's probably why you couldn't see me...it's ok

I notice you did you notice me?

I know one day I'll be judged
I know someday I will touch
The greatful day of my Love

His splendor renewed every breath
The light of him just to much
I took my steps in this place and no I fall like I have known

All my Sins are infront of me
God I was a fool to my lust
My words and my head are revealed threw my tongue
I forget what I said cause now it's actions that talk with all my life in his Hands.

It's over it's finished it's done
I wait to hear from the King The lamb
And His Son....

Truth cries as I lie
I lay down with the fantasy taking control of my life
I don't stop to look up for you no I,
Keep going further in my head where the stinch of fairytales buzz in my bed
How I love when there dead.
Then I can go to sleep in my bed
Without the dreams and this mess,
I hope this sleep be the end and I wake up to your fence
White pearly gates as the open
I'm looking now in amazement

Top won't leave me alone,
Needles and potron.

Top won't leave me alone,
Those girls blow up my phone.

Top won't leave me alone,
I'm thinking all day along

Up hear it's just to cold,
I need you oh my soul.

I row
I row
I row
I row upon these thoughts
I row
I row
I row
I pour another cup.

Short poem
Big problem
Knock knock it's my lust again.

*******
Can't stop it
Hello, please come on in.

You play me well like a guitar.
Give me head yours thick
But my love is too sharp.

Eyes glued too the floor
A cricket dance then stops as he's leaving his corpse.
The lights reflects here as I look up to snort.
Outside it thunders then pours as the rain remind me of the cool air that sweeps threw doors...

....There red
I'm black..
Crickets dead
I walk
They laugh...blurry faces on the left.

I'm tired
Your dead..
..My entertainment has left.
My eyes look up..
..For a moment..
...I'm back.

I'm almost 20 now
Almost 20 wow
In his 20 how?  Did he make out those..

Teen years with some sprite
Scremo that's my type
Chase thoughts like all night
My head was running like a sick night,
Those sick nights were pleasant till the morning time....just like those..

Child days where my pockets fade
And that bus came.
Innocence oh innocence  I can call your name,
And yes I know I run away but I tell you I love when you chased me.
The pretty girl in the class couldn't faze me my zipper was still unchanging.

I'm almost 20 how?
Almost 20 wow
In his 20 now...I know something's I couldn't see from a mile in age
But it's ok
I was young now I am old but never have I seen the righteous forsaken.